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Post by kayan on Jun 20, 2006 14:05:14 GMT -5
Kayan continued to frown. "Sacrifice is not necessarily a good thing. What good would you be to someone if you sacrified your life, leaving the other to mourn and attempt to live one alone? Also... how fair is it if only one person dictates another? Does that not ultimately lead to misery?" Kayan could not help but question, having seen other people in misery far too much in his line of work.
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Post by Light Yefran on Jun 20, 2006 23:27:48 GMT -5
Light shrugged, unsure how to answer anything. "Well....I suppose it's like that when you look at all the cons of the situation....and there really aren't any pros beyond self satisfaction and the ability to please the one you love but......I suppose you're right. Telling someone you'll make a sacrifice is one thing, actually doing it is another. But if one person in a couple is the only one to dictate, there is no fairness in the situation....both parties would be miserable....." He trailed off and sighed in tiredness, turning his emerald gaze to the boy.
"Is that why you abhore me so much? Are you miserable around me...?"
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Post by kayan on Jun 21, 2006 12:55:38 GMT -5
Kayan continued to stare out the window, not wanting to turn to face Light, desperatly fighting his confusion and the increase in that particular emotion as a result of Light's words. It hurt that Light thought he was like that. That shallow. He dropped his gaze into his lap, nervously pulling at his fingers and cracking the joints in his fingers. "I do not abhore you..." He muttered, still not facing Light. "I don't know WHAT I feel!" Kayan's voice was filled with distress. "I don't UNDERSTAND it. Why do I care so much? Why do I hurt to see you hurting? Why do I even FEEL around you to begin with when I have not allowed myself to feel things for longer than I can remember? I'm ashamed of myself for what I've done, shame I don't want to acknowledge, not then and certainly not now. I barely KNOW you!"
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Post by Light Yefran on Jun 22, 2006 20:00:25 GMT -5
Light's downtrodden emotions soared at Kayan's hesitant admission. Now that he knew the boy did feel, it wasn't so hard to imagine sweeping him off his feet. He smiled softly and turned a dancing gaze to his companion. "It's not good for a body to stop all feeling," he should know, he'd tried it after the accident. "Sometimes it's those we don't know that come in to help us through hard times. I'm not ashamed of you nor could I be despite what you've had to go through. That doesn't change you as a person Kayan......You've shut yourself off, hidden your true person." He sighed and finally swiveled his chair to face the boy.
"And if you'd allow me......even if you don't know me...I'd like to find you...let you get to know me....let you heal. What I offer is not going to be extracted. I never go back on my word.."
((Sorry!!! i couldn't think of anything for him >_<))
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Post by kayan on Jul 2, 2006 3:37:50 GMT -5
Kayan snorted in disbelief, still staring out the window. "That's assuming there is anything left to save." He retorted bitterly. "And don't say you are not ashamed of me when you have no idea about what I have done. I am ashamed of me. Why shouldn't you be. Worse still, as ashamed of myself as I am... I would not hesitate to do it again." Kayan added, bitterness seeded deep into his tone. It hurt to say it but he knew it was true. He had done what he had done out of desperation. He really didn't see many other options for an illiterate 13 year old.
((Its alright... it's not like my response is any better))
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Post by Light Yefran on Jul 2, 2006 13:09:08 GMT -5
He looked at the boy and sighed. "You'll never have to do it again, promise." He turned his gaze outside once again and frowned, folding his arms across his chest. Really, he wasn't and never could be ashamed of Kayan but the boy didn't believe him. He didn't care what he had done to put himself down so bad, nothing warranted any shame from him. It was all in the past.....
"And you have no idea about me, anything about me." He looked at him with wamr emerald eyes. "What say we get to know eachother, like i've proposed before......I'm not so great myself..."
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Post by kayan on Jul 4, 2006 13:17:03 GMT -5
Kayan quirked an eyebrow at Light, staring at him befire quirking his lip derisivly. No one in his lifetime had ever asked him about himself. All they ever wanted to know was about his body and his techniques and sometimes even if it hurt or not. He snorted in disbelief but tried anyway. "Go right ahead." He offered, being of the opinion that Light already knw too much about him and wanting to learn a little about the other first.
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Post by Light Yefran on Jul 5, 2006 9:47:10 GMT -5
"Alright," he let out a breath and folded his hands on his knee. "Well....i'm Sensaforian, as I told you. We're empaths and can feel others feelings. My parents own a.....bath house type hotel on the planet-that's where I work. Each Sensaforian is basically like a massuse....only we don't massage. We push feelings into people, to change their mood and make them the happiest. But we have to....we have to get in close contact with them, like I was with you on the bed. So most of the empaths are life-bearers, that's the equivalent of female on your planet." He paused to regain his breath and blink emerald eyes, wandering into a past he remembered. The block in his mind still fuzzed out some things, but he could pretty much piece everything together.
"I took a vacation a little while ago because a month back me and two others were in an accident. My father...he had this grand scheme to move the hotel from the ground, to the air, via a ship. He put a few of us on the ship with some masters-that's the customers- to try it out, experiment. The masters didn't know how to fly the thing, besides, they were in too much of a stupor. We were attacked by Prasidians. They shot us out of the sky and we fell....well..a long way. The ship was nothing but twisted metal and ash when I woke up. I was the only one who survived and....it's because I was the only one who knew the safest places to hide. Now i've got scars everywhere and a father who...isn't proud of me anymore. In fact, I think both my parents gave me thins trip just so they didn't have to look at me anymore." It was not all of his story, there was much more, he was sure. Happy things that they could talk about, things from his childhood he could remember. But why bother?
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Post by kayan on Jul 11, 2006 7:05:36 GMT -5
Kayan scowled at Light before asking a little roughly. “Isn’t that just a touch arrogant? Forcing others to feel happy. It’s false happiness and never does any good in the long run. Just like forgetting never does any good.” Kayan’s tone took on a note of wistfulness. Suddenly his eyes widened in realization his gaze turned heated. “You pushed feelings into me!” He accused, rather hurt. A p[art of his mind registered and listened to Light’s full story and even ached to hear it but his current conscious was too preoccupied into what he considered to be an invasion of his personal space to do or say anything about it.
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Post by Light Yefran on Jul 11, 2006 17:26:37 GMT -5
Light winced. "I did....but i didn't know how to make you stop crying otherwise. And it wasn't alot, really. just a few little strands to get your spirits up..." He shifted in his chair. "And if we're arrogant then the millions of tourists that come to the resort must be downright presumptious because they believe in it. Maybe it makes them feel good for a bit, I don't know." He kept his gaze on the window. He could feel Kayans hurt and anger and didn't want to make a big deal of it again by freaking out.
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Post by kayan on Jul 12, 2006 3:37:32 GMT -5
Kayan continued to scowl, turning to stare blankly ahead once more, a shiver going through his body. The idea of having emotions forced into him, even if it was only to calm him down bothered him greatly. "I don't like it." He muttered darkly. "It's like using you as a crutch." He turned back to Light. "I'm no weakling." He snarled. "I can take care of myself. I think you are presumptuous to just presume you were doing what was best for me by doing that."
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Post by Light Yefran on Jul 12, 2006 4:19:31 GMT -5
Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned anything. Because now Kayan knew about him, but he knew nothing about the boy. And with all the anger floating around in the air, he wasn't about to ask anything. He was practically drowning in the feelings, unable to get his shields up fast enough. It didn't matter-Kayan had a tendency to break them anyways. He winced and dropped his pounding head, chin resting on his chest. "Maybe I am," he ground out, "but you weren't complaining. It did make you feel better, didn't it?" He squeezed his eyes shut and pushed himself to his feet.
"I'm sorry, I have to.....I can't breath..." He escaped through the door, rubbing at his head, breathing easier now that he was out of the room, away from the stifling anger and betrayal-hurt. He never wanted to feel that kind of hurt again. It had been the same hurt he'd felt when the ship crashed-when he'd found the other survivor-only the boy had been almost charred to nothing. So much pain.....Light searched through the medicine cabinet for more pain pills. His mother had bought him several bottles of them. They had to be here somewhere!
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Post by kayan on Jul 12, 2006 5:46:45 GMT -5
Kayan immediately felt guilty for driving Light out. He wanted Light there. True, he was angry but he felt drawn to Light. As angry and betrayed as he felt by Light forcing feelings into him, he felt far worse when the other left. He got up, folloing after Light, guilt and sadness overwhelming his earlier anger. "I didn't mean to drive you away." He stated softly, once he found Light fumbling around in a cabinet. "I just... I just..." He waved his arms areound helplessly. "I just don't like losing control." He finally admitted hanging his head in shame.
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Post by Light Yefran on Jul 12, 2006 7:35:46 GMT -5
Light looked at him for a second, smiling as much as he could before going back to searching for the bottles of pills. "No one does-likes to lose control that is. But it happens. I've done it more times than I can count....Sometimes it's good to lose control every now and then. Ha!" He pulled out the bottle and uncapped it, dumping two out onto his hand. He downed them without water and flicked off the light, standing in front of Kayan. Gently he lifted the boys head, a finger under his chin. "Every single person in this universe loses control at one point in their life. You don't have to be ashamed." After a second of merely studying midnight eyes he motioned the boy out, lest he do something stupid that'd make Kayan angry at him again.
"It's not you driving me away," he said finally, rubbing his forehead. "It's the feelings you give off. They're really, really strong and I can't put shields up against you. They just fall away. So...sometimes it gets a little stifling because I get overloaded with so many different emotions."
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Post by kayan on Jul 12, 2006 15:10:22 GMT -5
Kayan swalloed, his throat dry. For a moment there he thought Light had been about to kiss him. More disconcerting still... Kayan had been about to let him. He licked his lips, trying to formulate something coherent to say, body still tingling from Light's gentle touch. Damn but this stranger unsettled him. Unsettled him and made him feel things like never before. he hadn;t realised a mere touch could be so pleasant, arousing such anticipation... Kayan fropwned as the words registered. "You can shield against others? Why not me?" He felt even more guilty knowing he had emotionally hurt Light without meaning to.
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