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Post by kayan on Jun 25, 2008 0:47:58 GMT -5
"It's not your fault." Kayan muttered absently scratching his arm and the imaginary itch he could already feel where the needle entered his skin. He scratched around the needle so he wouldn't have to feel it in his arm and still it managed to creep him out. "You don't have to stay." Kayan's gaze was blank. "I'm not an invalid."
~~~
Raen walked in and smiled at the lump before sitting down beside it. "Hey." He greeted softly before frowning. "I hate to do this to you Lemor bur could you please do me a favour. After I give you your checkup would you be willing to lay around in bed with Kayan? He's stuck in bed today and I think he could do with the company. It's also better for you to take it easy and stay off your feet as much as possible." Ha added hastily glancing up at Pasu in silent request.
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Post by Light Yefran on Jun 25, 2008 7:09:21 GMT -5
"Well...I don't want you to get lonely. I know staying in bed all day's not fun...atleast let me get you some things to keep you preoccupied," he suggested instead.
///
Lemor pushed the covers aside, blinking groggily at Raen before he smiled. "I would love to. Me and Kayan have so much fun." Pasu too nodded.
"I have alot of work today, so it would be best to have him with Kayan." Lemor sat up finally stretching and sliding to the edge of the bed to sit.
"Alright, lets get this check up over with. Pasu, you'd best give me a kiss before you go." His mate smiled a bit, trailing into the bathroom to get a shower.
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Post by kayan on Jun 26, 2008 0:48:05 GMT -5
"Alright." Kayan agreed softly knowing that Light wasn't going to take no for an answer. "You can bring me something. I'm sure it will be interesting."
~~~
"Thanks." Raen replied in relief. "It really means a lot to me. Kayan seems a little tense and that can be dangerous for his pregnancy. He was sick again this morning and I have to give him the IV as we never finished the treatment at the hospital. You're both going to be prone to a difficult pregnancy and Kayan really needs someone to help him through this. Someone who understands." Raen sat down beside Lemor and reached out towards him. "May I?"
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Post by Light Yefran on Jun 26, 2008 8:42:46 GMT -5
"I'll try. And don't scratch that," he pointed at the I.V needle. "I'll be back then, love." He wanted to assure him. He could get some work today, and one of these days, after the ceremony that was coming up, they could maybe go shop for the three kits Kayan carried. He left with that happy thought, promising once more to come back.
///
Lemor nodded. "Go ahead. Pasu's in the shower," he smiled, though he couldn't hold it. He was still scared about this, and what was going to happen...He prayed so hard for him to carry this one to full term. He couldn't wait to hold the kit in his arms....
"I'm glad he's pregnant right alongside me....I don't think I could do this on my own either. I mean, I have Pasu and all, but it's nice to have another life-bearer," he nodded.
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Post by kayan on Jun 26, 2008 13:57:28 GMT -5
Kayan sulked when Light reprimanded him lightly for scratching his arm. He dropped his hand and resisted the urge to continue scratching because NOW it REALLY was beginning to itch. He lay back and sulked at the ceiling feeling trapped, scared, excited and very confused all at once. He chewed his lip and tried to distract himself but his thoughts kept going back to pregnancy. How was it possible? Why was it possible? Furthermore why did he even believe it? Maybe because he could feel the life thrumming beneath his hands now resting on his abdomen, so he chewed his lip and waited for Light to return hoping he would bring him something nice to do.
~~~
Raen nodded and reached out slipping his hands beneath Lemor's pyjama's and onto his abdomen. He gently ran his hands over Lemor's skin, prodding now and then to look for signs of tenderness and discomfort. Satisfied that there were none he withdrew his hands and searched his own pockets pulling out a few tablets. Spotting a glass and jug on the bedside filled with water he poured water into the glass before handing it to Lemor. "Here. These are only vitamins . We need to keep you healthy to ensure everything goes well." He handed both the glass and pills over.
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Post by Light Yefran on Jun 27, 2008 7:58:47 GMT -5
Light brought back all manor of things. From things to read-including language books and dictionaries-to somehting to snack on, to othe rmiscellaneous things to do.
"It's a long day," he explained sheepishly. "I didn't know exactly what to get, so, you can sift around and see what you like. Um.....I hope this is okay..."
///
"Okay," Lemor took them gratefully, without protest, and smiled. "There we are. Anything else?" He asked, raising a brow.
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Post by kayan on Jun 27, 2008 16:12:26 GMT -5
Kayan stared at the pile of stuff before nodding. He dropped his gaze before glancing up and sending Light a shy smile. "Thank you." He said softly. "I'm sure that will be enough to keep me entertained for many, many long days." He pulled a face at the IV absently scratching at the needle in his arm again.
~~
"Nope." Raen stated softly smiling at Lemor. "We're taking things one step at a time and right now you're right as rain. Healthy for a life bearer and looking good. Kayan on the other hand..."
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Post by Light Yefran on Jun 27, 2008 16:47:08 GMT -5
"Yeah, but you won't be stuck here for many days. Just a few. We've got a ceremony to go to...the day after tomorrow. Mom's going to have you busy tomorrow," he had almost forgotten. "I'll take care of what I can today." He sat besde him and took a hand, mostly to keep him from scratching. "You sure it'll be okay if I go? I mean, if you get bored, or lonely or something, you can send someone to find me, okay?"
///
"Don't say 'on the other hand...' We're going to get Kayan healthy and glowing. You mark my words. I'm not lettng that boy go through what I did. He deserves happiness, and he's going to get it." He tugged his pajamas back into place, smiling at Raen.
"You run along and get him situated. I'll be right down. I have to say goodbye to Mr. Moody, and get dressed." H felt so much better than last night. And the tablets Pasu had given him this morning had staved off the morning sickness, but he still wasn't going to chance eating just yet...
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Post by kayan on Jun 29, 2008 2:40:54 GMT -5
Kayan blinked staring up at Light in shock. "The day after tomorrow?" He meeped confusion, fear, uncertainly mixing with excitement and hope. "Everything will be ready? That quickly?" Kayan ignored the fact that he couldn't scratch his arm completely focused on Light and the possible answer to his question. Everything seemed to be moving to quickly he didn't know what to fel.
~~
"I'm glad you feel that well." Raen stated softly actually relieved that Lemor felt so strongly about it. "He will need a lot of food and probably a lot of watching." Raen pulled a face. "He is filled with so much fear I'm afraid he's going to do something stupid." Raen stood and headed towards the door. "I apologise for worrying you with this." He stated just before closing the door after himself with a soft click.
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Post by Light Yefran on Jun 29, 2008 7:37:48 GMT -5
"Well...yeah. Mom works kind of quick. He's got everything all taken care of. It's going to be wonderful...but if you..want to wait or something, I can ask him to push it back. I know you were concerned about it, and I sort of asked him to move it forward a few days. But he..well.." He shrugged a bit. He didn't want Kayan to feel too rushed. He wanted him to be able to relax and enjoy their ceremony. If t was too quick, he could have it rescheduled.
Light sat on the edge of the bed, sensing that maybe they needed to talk about it...or something. After all, it was Kayans ceremony too, and a very important event...
///
Lemor waved him off, but he was already gone. So he stepped into the shower with his mate. Minutes later, they came out to dress and get ready for the day. Lemor gathered a few things he and Kayan could do together, before kissing Pasu goodbye, and leaving the room. He near bumped into Rean on the way to the room.
"My, you're slow," he teased. "What are you going to do all day? Life at the inn can get pretty boring, unless you're going to take up some touristy things, or something of the sort..."
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Post by kayan on Jun 30, 2008 0:51:01 GMT -5
Kayan chewed his lip listening to Light's words in dismay. He didn't want to move it. He wanted something that belonged to him, wanted a place to belong and the ceremony promised him that. As much as he wanted it though he could never force Light to do it. "Do you..." He swallowed gathering courage to say what he really didn't want to ask. "Do you want to move it? Push it back?" Light probably needed time to consider, time to back out and as much as it hurt him he was willing to give Light that time.
~~
"I've already been to check in on Kayan." Raen pointed out softly. "I don;t have a reason to rush. As for being bored..." He shrugged. "I'm sure I'll manage." He smiled at Lemor in reassurance.
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Post by Light Yefran on Jun 30, 2008 5:40:24 GMT -5
Light took a second to take that in, before shaking his head, smiling. "Not at all. I can't wait to have it. When I can hold you and everyone will know you're mine, My Kayan," he brused his hair. "I was only asking, because I don't want you to feel rushed into it. I want it to be the most special night, not some sordid party you were forced into..." He trailed off.
///
He grinned back. "Alright. You should find yourself a nice Bearer to be with. Then you wouldn't be entirely lonely." He shrugged a slender shoulder, and stopped at Kayans and Lights door. "This is me. Do you need to check on him again, or should I just come find you when that's done and over with?" He was speaking of the I.V.
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Post by Light Yefran on Jun 30, 2008 8:05:53 GMT -5
Both of us
Kayan chewed his lip some more before nodding, managing to scratch his arm again. "Okay." He stated softly, rlief coursing through him. "What am I going to wear?" He glanced up at Light through stray strands of hair waiting with bated breath. He was kind of hoping... kind of hoping that...
///
Raen raised an eyebrow at the comment before grinning. "Are you trying to insinuate that I impregnate someone so you pregnat life brearers can take over the world or something?" He teased lightly, avoiding the topic of getting his own life brearer. It had taken him a long time but he'd already come to terms with the fact he;d most likely spend the rest of his life alone. "Hmm... its a good plan. I'm sure all those hormones have to be good for something but I wouldn;t hold your breath if I were yoave the worst luck when it comes to single free bearers. Yes, you can come call me when the drip is done."
~~~
"Well..." He reached forward once more, to brush affectionately at the strands of hair. "You have two options. My mother has a pair of robes that's been passed down my family for a long time. They're really beautiful, but I know you hate to wear robes....if you don't want to, we found a really intricate pant and shirt outfit. You get to make the choice," He leaned forward to place a kiss at the corner of his lips.
///
"Poor Raen. I'm sure there's someone out there for you, It may take time to find them, or they could fall right into your lap." He knocked gently on Kayans door. "I'll come find you. We're grateful you're here to look after us. Might as well go and relax. Who knows what the days ahead hold?"
~~~
Kayan dropped his gaze, dissapointment coursing through him. He didn't want to wear any of that. He wanted to wear the material they had found possibly made into a robe for him. He'd kind of liked the silver stars upon the fabric and the shimmering shades of blue that came out among the paler shades... He remained silent and picked at the bedding.
///
Rane stuck his tongue out. "Don't youi be making assuptions about me being poor or not. I'm already surrouned by pregnamt life bearers. " He winked at Lemor.
~~~
Light's smile slowly turned down, and he licked his lips. "Uh-oh...what'd I say? Babe? I want you to be happy, what's wrong? You want to wear something else? Let me know, and i'll get it taken care of. You can wear anything you want, love." He took his hands, part to keep that hand from scratching, and part to reassure him.
///
"I know," he grinned again. "Now off with you. We'll be calling you back soon enough." He knocked once more, before opening the door a bit.
"Kayan? Light...can I come in?" He called lightly, hoping he wasn't ruining anything.
~~~
Kayan glanced at the door when Lemor opened it and glanced back at Ligh. "It's ok." He stated past the lump in his throat. "There isn't time. I'll wear whatever you choose." He glanced at Lemor again and sent the other a false smile trying to get past the awkward topic in the room.
///
Raen shook his head smiling before walking calmly away.
~~~
Light wanted to argue. Kayan seemed so, so disappointed, and he felt terrible for making him feel that. But Lemor was here, already smiling and coming into the room.
"I was appointed to come and keep you company." He grinned. "We'll have fun. I brought some things, but I see Light's already supplied you." Light nodded and set Kayans hands down, petting him before kissing a forehead once more.
"He has. I'm going to go to work for a bit. I'll check back in about lunch time. If you guys get hungry, make up a list, and i'll bring it for you." He stood, his eyes catching on a corner of fabric hanging out of the closet. He had forgotten about Kayans new robes and clothes. And that fabric he'd liked so much.....Maybe that was...
He wanted to ask, but instead, he moved to the closet while Lemor had Kayan proccupied, and snagged the roll. "Love you Kayan!~" He called before sliding out the door. This might cheer him up. It was beautiful...and it sited Kayan far more than anything his mother had made. So......
///
"H..here's your lunch, and make sure you check in at the clinic after your studies." Kahil murmured to the boy whom already had his back turned. He was lucky he had accepted the lunch this morning. Jermani was still so...off-put with him, but he'd actually been a bit nicer this morning. For that, he had to thank Raen. Whatever they'd talked about...He sighed a bit, and tugged his coat tighter about him, turning to take one last pastry from the kitchen, before heading towards the clinic. He had to open this morning.
~~~
Kayan glanced up as Light left dissapointment still coursing through him. The moment the other was gone his face fell the fake smile gone and overshadowed by true emtion. He didn;t know how to explain what he wanted. It made him feel selfish and it was his selfishness that had hurt his mother so. He would rather remain silent than hurt Light. Everything was so strange and so he was lost in thought comletely unaware of what Lemor was saying.
///
Raen decided to go check on the bearer he met the previous evening. The situation with Kahil seemed so complicated. He wanted to help but didn't know how and something within him was urging him to make sure the other was alright. If nothing else he cold offer his help at the clinic to both ease his own bordom andthe burde on Kahil.
~~~
Lemor was going on and on, explaining what they could do that day, before he realized that Kayan was, in fact, not listening. Instead, he looked crestfallen, and terribly unhappy. "Kayan? Kayan what's wrong?" He sat in Lights recently vacated spot, and tipped a chin up.
///
The clinic was dark and rather empty feeling when he got there. He unlocked the doors, and opened up, switching on lights as quickly as he could. It was so..quiet...they didn't keep patients overnight here. If they needed more observation, they were sent to the hospital. He turned on the compuscreen at the receptionists' desk, and started looking through appointments. He didn't even look up when the main doors opened, his eyes scanning the screen, gnawing on his lip as he jotted down a few things.
~~~
Kayen buried his face in his arms and started to cry unsure how he was supposed to nswer that question.
///
Raen arrived at the clinic door and knocked softly
~~~
"Oh Kayan.." All happiness fled and he pet hair, wrapping an arm about his friend in a hug. "What happened?" The soft crying tugged at his heart, and he felt terrible for him. "Was it something Light said?" He tried, only wanting to make him feel better.
///
Kahil's eyes flew to the door when the knock came. His brow furrowed and he stood. His staff knew to enter, and no patients would be coming until appointments started. He fisted hands in his pockets, before glancing out the window of the door. A sigh of relief left his lips, and he opened the door. "You scared me," he murmured, offering a little smile. "What brings you down here, Master Raen?" He asked, secretly glad to see him again.
~~~
"I'm... I'm an idiot..." Kayan hiccupped as he spoke. "I'm going to... to ruin this. I... I... I don't want to be selfish or greedy but every time I... I keep quiet he look sad. I keep dissapointing him. I... I likd that material... I liked the stars... They're so pretty but its selfish and he.. he said I have two choices. He... I... He gives me so much. I have nothing to give back. I mustn't be selfish... or greedy. I mustn't" Kayan babbled tears pouring down his face in streams.
///
"Please don't call me that. It makes me feel old." Raen stated as he walked in ruffling Kahil's hair. "I'm sorry for scaring you. I wanted to know if you could use some assistance. I've already checked on Lemor and Kayan and they need time to relax now. Having me hover around won;t be condusive to that. Also you have to help me eat all those cookies you gave me. " he grinned cheekily.
~~~
Lemor licked his lips, listening to the heart wrenching babble. Kayan was so...so sweet and not meant to be hurt like this. "Hey....Kayan, listen...is this about the ceremony..or something? You're not being selfish. You're not. It's okay to want to ask for something. Light wants to provide you with things that make you happy, and it's okay ever now and then to suggest something. To perhaps tell him what you want. He would be delighted to get you something you trully wanted.." He pet his hair more and laid his cheek atop a head, trying to quell those painful sobs.
///
"O..oh," he grinned a bit, and fixed his messed up hair. "I did..um..give you an awful lot, didn't I?" A blush accompanied that phrase, and he closed the doors, following him. "I could certainly use help, since you're offering. And um...maybe we can work on those cookies." His eye darted to the side He felt silly looking upon Raen, like everything about him was wide open on display for the man to see.
~~~
"But... I... I have no money... no job... no talet. I'm a burden. I don;t want to be a burden." He cried. "It makes me feel guilty."
///
"Sure." Raen smiled looking for a coffee pot. Finding one he went over and started to make coffee for the cookies which for some strange and unexplainable reason he was still carrying with him. "How's Jermani? Still giving you trouble. I hope I didn;t make things worse betweenyou two. He's a good kid. Just a little confused"
~~~
"Of course you have talent! And it doesn't matter if you have a job or money or not, because Light loves you for who you are. Would you rather be stuck with him for money or status? You have a good thing, and he wants you to love being with him..." He murmured.
///
"Actually...he's been a bit better this morning. He let me make him lunch," he smiled and sat down, while the delicious aroma of coffee began to drift in the air. "I wanted to thank you for...for coming up and talking to him." He wrote down one last patient, before spinning his chair around a bit, pushing hair back behind an ear.
~~~
"But I wat... I want to be useful." Kayan sniffed as he cried rocking back and forth in distress.
///
Raen carried over the coffee and biscuits placing it before Kahil. "There is nothing to thank me for." He bit into a biscuit. "I enjoy your company immensely"
~~~
"Kayan.." He tried to hug him, but his rocking prevented that. "You are useful....you're carrying his baby...and you love him as much as he loves you..."
///
"R..really?" He asked, taking a biscuit shyly, picking up a cup of coffee. "I...I enjoy yours too," he admitted.
~~~
"But... but... how am I supposed to be a good parent. They... my children... no LIGHTS children will be better off without me. I know nothing about being a parent. I dont know how. I... I'm... All I know is being alone, being a whore. How can I be there for me when I want someone to just be there for me. To hold me, give me vanilla ice cream, to make it all better, to look after me whan I'm sick... to take me to the park, I want to go on the rides, I;ve never been on the rides. I want to go to school. I wan to cook, to read, to write..."
///
"I'm glad." Raen smiled eating a biscuit. "You know Lemor said the strangest thing to me this morning. Apparently he has a plot to take over the world using pregnant life bearers. He wants me to help." He grinned cheekily.
~~~
"But....but that's exactly how you're going to be a wonderful parent. You know everything a child is going to need...to want. You'll understand them. And....and when the baby comes, it's going to be instinct that takes over. You'll know exactly what to do. You'll know how to care for your child.."
///
He went red again, nibbling his biscuit. "T...That's an interesting...um...view.." He said it so quietly, he swore it was a whisper. "What was your..um....answer?" He asked.
~~~
"I'm scared." Kayan shook. "I'm not ready. I'm a bad example and have nothing in my life to teach my children. I can barely read."
///
"I told him life bearers don;t like me that way." He grinned cheekily. "They only like me when they are already pregnant. Then they all flock to come see me."
~~~
"Well..." He tipped a chin up again, and tried to wipe at tears. "Then we will read and read and read until your mind can't take no more. The baby is going to love you, no matter if you can read or not. He's not going to care about that," he murmured.
///
"Well....i'm a life-bearer, and I like you and....m'not pregnant," he offered, in a ways of help. He was only suggesting that he liked Raen perfectly fine, to disprove the mans argument.
~~~
"I care." Kayan whimpered. "I dont want my children to have a stupid parent"
///
Raen blinked at him in surprise before speaking carefully "But you have a family and aren't looking to be impregnated by a mate"
~~~
"And they won't. Your son is going to have a wonderful parent, and any children after that. And i'm going to help you. I don't want you to feel that way..."
///
"I-!" He blinked in suprise and embarassment. "Well..I mean, one day, but that's....that's not what I was..." He took a gulp of coffee and yelped, setting the cup down. "Sorry..." He didn;t know what else to say. Raen confused him so, and so did...that suggestion.
~~~
"But how am I going to look after them and learn? I dont want to be useless and stupid and illiterate and..."
///
Raen watched him before reachin into the sink for a glass. He filled it with water and silently held it out to Kahil
~~~
"You're not stupid," he smiled. "You're talking to me, and you're perfectly intelligent. And you're nowhere near useless. Please don't keep putting yourself down..."
///
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have..." He licked his lips with his burnt tongue, taking the glass of cool water gratefully and drinking it down.
~~~
"What can I do? Other than sleeping aroound, what am I good at?" Kayan chakkenged
///
"Shouldn't have what?" Raen asked calmly.
~~~
"You're good at making Light happy. And you're good at cooking, from what I hear. And you're good at being one of the best friends I have," he nodded. "PleaseKayan.....please stop beating yourself up...please?"
///
"Shouldn't have....shouldn't have said that. You're being so nice being here and helping me out. I was just....you're likeable. Even by life-bearers that..aren't...pregnant," he nodded.
~~~
Kayan sniffed looking up at Lemor out of watery miserable eyes. "Sorry." He muttered...
///
"Thanks." Raen ruffled Kahil's hair once more. "It really means a lot to me so you shouldn;t take it back and apologise for it."
~~~
"Don't be," he began whiping gently at tears again. "You needed to get that out, and it's good to.."
///
Kahil glanced at him through lowered lashes. "Okay," he agreed, and set the now empty glass down. "I....thank you...for everything.." He was glad he hadn't made a bigger idiot of himself. Raen's words both confused him, and made his heart race and ache. What was wrong with him?
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Post by kayan on Jun 30, 2008 15:12:52 GMT -5
Kayan chewed his lip scratching at the IV. Suddenly he felt guilty. "I shouldn't be worrying you." He reached out to touch Lemor's abdomen in panic. "Is the baby ok?"
///
Raen watched him a moment longer before stepping forward. Reaching out he hooked his fingers into Kahil's clothes and pulled the other closer before leaning down and kissing him. He had no idea what had gotten into him or why he was doing this but Kahil did strange things to his senses, drawing him towards the other making him yearn to stay in the others company, to wipe away all his pain and uncertainty. Even as he did it he knew he would be in trouble but he couldn't resist and did it anyway.
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Post by Light Yefran on Jul 1, 2008 7:09:23 GMT -5
Lemor glanced down and nodded, smiling. "He's fine. You worried me a bit, but made me want to help you more." He sighed and wiped one more tear. "I can't believe we're going to be having them about the same time. Isn't that wonderful? It's kind of exciting really."
///
Kahil's mind was spinning. One second he'd been watching him, and the next he was tugged up against Raen, the mans lips one his. And oh did it do wonders for his mind. It wiped away everything he's been worrying and thinking about, and his heart fluttered, before pounding madly against his chest. He had a quick moment of bliss, before he pulled away, eyes wide, a hand flying to his lips. "Y..you...I..."Kahil enjoyed Raen's company, and the man himself, but it had been only....a night and this morning. Why would Raen be kissing him of all people after such a short time? Words failed him, and he closed his eyes, stepping back, near stumbling over his vacated chair.
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