Together Itsumo NC-17

[Deleted]

Chiaki found himself in that warm house again. He hadn’t meant to become a burden to Devon, but it seemed he couldn’t help it. Maybe he just couldn’t take care of himself? Chiaki had never been the best at being independent. As mature as he could be sometimes, he was still a child. It wasn’t like he had really learned to do things on his own and it wasn’t like he was alone often. Most of the time Chiaki was being supervised and not allowed to do what he wanted. Still, though, Chiaki wanted to learn to become independent. He knew he wasn’t good at it, but he didn’t want to lean on Devon forever. He didn’t want the other to think he was a mere child and wanted to grow up fast. Devon was a responsible adult and Chiaki wanted to become just like him. He didn’t want to always be afraid of his parents or be forced into a relationship with Aya. She annoyed and scared him at the same time. It was like having his parents as a wife. They all acted the same way. It was never about his feelings, only theirs. Maybe he was invisible to them or something? His feelings were never considered and he was always pushed to the side. It was like he wasn’t even important. Perhaps that’s why he was so glad Devon had brought him to this house. Here it felt nice and it was like he wanted. He didn’t feel unimportant or like he was useless.

“Please don’t worry!” Pleased Chiaki. “I won’t cause any trouble…just…let me stay here for a bit… My parents won’t get mad at you. I promise! I don’t mean to impose on you like this…it’s just…”

His parents were going to have a fit and Chiaki knew it. He’d be grounded until he was eighteen at the very least. He was probably going to get yelled at for a while too, but he didn’t want to tell Devon or his mate’s mother this. He didn’t want to tell them just what kinds of things they’d do to him. No one had ever done something like this. Even his brothers wouldn’t have done this. Chiaki knew he was pretty much screwed. It wasn’t like he could just say he was sorry and be done with it. He had pretty much embarrassed his family and made them look bad. His parents were going to rant about how he had given Aya the impression he didn’t like her and such, which was true. He really didn’t like her. Of course, telling her something like this was forbidden. You didn’t tell your future wife that you disliked her. Something like that would ruin the engagement. Chiaki didn’t care, but his parents would. They’d probably kick him out for something like that. He wondered if they’d even let him back into the house. Sometimes, when his brothers did really bad things, they weren’t allowed in the house for a few hours. It was some sort of punishment, but the pair always ended up going to a party or a friend’s house. Chiaki wasn’t sure if he could do that. He wasn’t really familiar with the way to Devon’s house and he’d be too scared to stay outside for too long alone.

His brother’s had already told him of all the bad things that happened to you if you stayed outside for too long. They explained what kind of people hung around the area and such. It frightened the small boy to think about the kinds of things people could do to him if he wasn’t careful. It was probably better to not go home until the morning, but Chiaki didn’t want to make his parents madder. Then again, it might give them time to cool off or something. Still, they weren’t the type to forgive easily. There were so many things to consider and now Chiaki was confused as to what he was supposed to do. But…he wanted to stay here. He made up his mind and decided to stay here where Devon was. Even if he got into lots of trouble, he really liked this place. The boy was sure it wouldn’t make a difference if he went home or not. Either way he was getting into trouble so he might as well get into deeper trouble. If he got yelled at, it was alright. He wouldn’t cry as long as he could spend this time with Devon. That’s why…he’d do his best…not to cry.

[~Devon~]

"Angel...shhhh," Devon stroked the boys knee gently as he finished cleaning out the cuts. He kissed the wounds and grabbed up some band-aids. "I said you could stay here. It's alright so stop worrying, alright? Calm down and just...relax," he smiled up at him from his position on the floor and went to work on his other knee, pressing band-aids over the cuts. His mother gave up and went back to doing dishes, leaving the young lovers to talk it over. Devon carefully checked Chiaki over again, making sure he had gotten every single cut before packing up his supplies.

He set the medical box back in the cupboard before coming to move a chair in front of Chiaki's, sitting on it backwards to face him. "Anytime you ever need to get away, you come to me. Whether you go to the bookstore near your house and come home with my mom, or you come all the way here. I'm always there for you Chi, don't be afraid to ask for help." He didn't like the look in his lovers eyes. Like Chiaki was about to cry. He shoul never have sent him home. Reaching out he tucked a strand of silver hair behind the boys ear before noticing the twigs. He smirked and started picking them out, smoothing out tangles.

[Deleted]

Chiaki knew he didn’t look his best at the moment, but he didn’t want his mate to be worried. He didn’t like making Devon worry and he didn’t want the other to think he couldn’t handle something like this. In truth, Chiaki had no idea what he was going to do, but he wasn’t going to tell Devon that. The other was already so stressed out and he didn’t want the other to have more on his plate than he already did. Chiaki couldn’t help it that he was feeling depressed at the moment. Just thinking about his parents made him feel nervous and like he wanted to puke. He knew the other could feel how horrible he felt, but he didn’t want to say anything right now. That’s when his cell phone rang. Chiaki had forgotten he had stuffed it in his pocket and the sound coming from it had startled him. His heart was beating so fast now and he had suddenly gotten very scared. Before the other could do anything, Chiaki had dashed towards the rest room. When he reached the bathroom, he made sure to lock the door. With trembling hands, he pressed the button and accepted the call. Before he knew it, he was being scolded severely by his mother. She repeated over and over how disappointed she was and how he was dishonoring the family. Chiaki prided himself in the fact that he didn’t cry when he was being yelled at. He was terrible in these sorts of situations and tended to cry easily when it came to his parents. Surprisingly, he didn’t even try to defend himself or say anything back. He just calmly stood there with the phone to his ear.

He had always been afraid of the things his parents would do to him if he disobeyed. It seemed like he was always afraid of something. He didn’t understand how this fear had started, but it seemed like his whole life had revolved around it. His hands were trembling, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of fear or not. Then the phone went dead. The last part had been practically screamed into his ear. ‘Don’t bother coming home.’ He dropped the phone and was lucky it didn’t break. He wasn’t sure what to do anymore. He didn’t know how long he stood there. It could have been an hour or maybe five minutes. Either way, it felt like an eternity. His eyes were wide and he was trembling even more than before. He felt sick and found himself losing his breakfast into the toilet. He hadn’t seen that coming, but he didn’t know what do to now. He felt sick and alone. Chiaki didn’t his best to wash out his mouth, but it wasn’t like he had a toothbrush or anything of the sort. He weakly made his way over to the door. He wasn’t sure he wanted to open it. Even so, his hand was already reaching out towards the doorknob and before he knew it, the door was opened. He blinked and looked at Devon as he stood in the doorway.

Chiaki found that he had to learn against the doorway to keep steady and that suddenly, there were tears running down his eyes. He didn’t even bother with the cell phone on the phone and continued to cry. He really didn’t feel well anymore. Why did it hurt so much? He knew she wouldn’t like what he had done, but he hadn’t expected something so harsh. He couldn’t go back anymore. Even though that place had been his home, he couldn’t go back. Even though they’d moved around a lot, they had always been together. It had been the only thing that had remained constant. He hadn’t expected for things to change so much. It felt like he was all alone. He had been abandoned and there was nothing he could do about it. Maybe he should have said something. When she had yelled, maybe he should have said something, but he hadn’t known what to do. He hadn’t known what to say. Maybe he had lost his voice back there or something, but it had been hard to come up with the answers she had wanted to hear. He didn’t know what to do at all.

[~Devon~]

The fact that Chiaki had ran when the cell phone rang through out the house let him know it was the boys parents. He knew Chiaki didn't want him to worry, didn't want to seem clingy, but he was the dominant. He was supposed to worry and take are of his mate. He gave the boy a few minutes before he walked calmly to the bathroom door, pressing his ear up against it. No sounds came from inside and that worried him. He did hear something that sounded suspiciously like Chiaki throwing up after a few minutes and put his hand to the doorknob. It twisted in his hand but he wasn't turning it. Seconds later he was confronted with his weary looking mate. The boy looked pale and broken and tears broke out from his eyes, coursing down his cheeks.

"Baby," he reached out and cupped his face, thumbing his tears. "What's wrong Chi? What'd they say, I know that was your parents. Did you get into trouble? I'm sorry, i know you don't like to cause a stir and you said they can say hurtful things." He didn't know if he was helping or hurting. Chiaki was still bawling and had turned an almost deathly pale. Devon foudn that the boy seemed very weak when he'd tried to lead him to a chair. He wrapped and arm around Chiaki's waist and waited, letting him regain his bearings.

[Deleted]

He wanted to say something to make Devon worry less. He wanted to be able to make the other feel better about this but found that his voice was frozen. He didn’t know what to say at all. It wasn’t like there was books he could read about making others feel better in these sorts of situations or anything. Chiaki couldn’t even make himself stop crying. He knew it was stupid to cry over something he had no control over, but he couldn’t help it. His parents had pretty much thrown him away and there was nothing he could do to change their minds. It was probably pretty obvious what they were going to do if he had bothered to predict their actions. After all, he had ruined his only chance of getting married and that was all he was good for. Unlike his brothers, he wasn’t going to go into the family company or become something great. It had been established a long time ago that the only contribution he could make was marrying rich. It had hurt when he’d realized that in the family he really had no value, but this wasn’t something he could talk to about Devon, though he was sure he would spill all his problems soon enough. It was hard to keep everything inside and he found that he couldn’t help himself.

Sometimes, when he was around Devon, he felt the need to talk about what he was feeling or what was bothering him, which was odd since that was something he never did at home. Maybe it was just something in Devon that made him want to be honest about everything. He’d never had a friend he could confide in and tell all his secrets too. Then again, he hadn’t had many friends period. Sure he knew lots of people at school, but they mostly didn’t do things outside of school. But he supposed if he had to call someone a friend, it’d have to be Riku. He’d have to introduce him soon to his mate. He was sure they’d get along well. The boy found that he felt a little better now. He rubbed his eyes to rid himself of the tears and sniffled a little. He probably looked horrible at the moment. Crying always made his face red and blotchy. He had a feeling he needed a bath or something. Taking a bath always made him feel better and besides, he was covered in dirt at the moment. He wondered how he had gotten so many scratches. How had he not noticed all the bruises and such he’d gotten from that horrid bush? Maybe he had been very distracted or something… Devon always seemed to distract him it seemed. When he thought about the other, he couldn’t seem to focus on anything else. That’s why he was going to only think of his mate.

“I’m fine,” he assured the other softly. “Don’t worry so much. I-I’m perfectly fine…so…don’t worry… It was…nothing. I feel better now, so it’s okay.”

He wanted to keep crying, but he knew crying never did anything. So made himself stop. He didn’t want to cause any more trouble. He had caused enough problems for everyone as it was. He didn’t want Devon to be mad at him too. Chiaki tried to stand but found himself falling back into the chair. He managed to stand on his second attempt and stumbled into the bathroom. He turned on the faucet in the sink and washed his face. He didn’t like having his face red. When he looked into the mirror, he noted that even his nose was a bright red color. He wondered if his parents had cried. Had they been sad that they wouldn’t see him again? What about school? Would he still be allowed to go to school? What about Riku. He didn’t have other friends either. He wanted to go to school like all normal kids, but he knew they wouldn’t continue to pay for such an expensive school. Why bother with a son that wasn’t going to become anything? He was sure that’s what they were thinking right now and Chiaki couldn’t help but become a little bitter about everything. He was angry at them now and couldn’t help it. Though he loved them, he was pissed off at them now.

[~Devon~]

Chiaki had told him not to worry, had offered a smile and gotten rid of his tears. But Devon cared too much. He'd seen the pain in his mates eyes, had known something horrible had happened to cause his baby to break down like that. And the fact that Chiaki was hiding it from him hurt. But he wasn't about to complain. Chaiki didn't want him to constantly question everything. That would only get them fighting with eachother. So he would be quiet for now. He would be there if Chiaki needed him, but for right now, the boy wanted to stand on his own two feet. Devon watched him go back to the bathroom with sad, crimson eyes. So many things troubled his little lover. The kid had been half broken before he'd found him in that club. He was so sweet and only wanted to please, but no one could see that, no one except Devon. Instead, people always tried to hurt his angel.

Devon sat back in his own chair, watching the bathroom. He wanted to get up and demand Chiaki tell him what happened. But he could feel the anger and deep pain over their link. He knew he'd only anger his mate more and possibly cause him to leave in a fit of rage. He wouldn't be able to handle that. His angel walking out on him, getting lost on the streets. No, he'd worry over here, not corner the boy and demand such things. He'd wait patiently until Chiaki felt like talking, and help him through it as best he could. Instead, Devon stood to put the first aid kit away. His mother gave him a worried glance but he merely smiled a bit, letting him know they would work it out. "Chiaki will come to me when he sees fit to share," was all he said, before gathering things for a cup of hot cocoa. His mother always felt better after drinking a cup of the steaming liquid, so maybe Chiaki would too.

The boy was taking an awful long time in the bathroom and Devon boiled water and mixed the hot cocoa before setting it on the table, in Chiaki's claimed spot before he went to the open door. His angel was looking at his face in the mirror, studying the red lines under his cheeks and the tear splotches. Devon came up behind him and kissed the side of his face. "Come on, love," he murmured, flicking off the lights so Chiaki couldn't stand there anymore and wallow, taking his shoulders to steer him back out. "Sit down and drink that. It's special and will make you feel all warm inside." He sat his little mate down and would gentle, pale fingers around the coffee cup, warming them with the heat of the drink. "Blow on it first, so you don't burn your tongue and drink it slowly, alright?" He kissed his nose and took his own seat, bringing out lists of stock for his mothers bookstore. He could sit here and work a bit while Chiaki drank his hot cocoa. He wasn't letting the boy move until every drop was gone.

[Deleted]

He felt like crap. Chiaki wasn’t going to lie; he felt like crap and wished he were sleeping or something. He had really been considering living in the bathroom before Devon had come in and dragged him out of the room. It made sense. He had everything in there. The toilet, the bath, and Devon could slide him candy from under the door when he got hungry. It wouldn’t be the greatest life, but it’d be better than what he was going through now. Chiaki took a few deep breaths to keep himself from getting the hiccups. He knew he was still shaken up from everything and it was sinking in as he stared at the liquid in his cup. He still didn’t understand why this had happened. Sure he had screwed up, but it had been only once. He hadn’t done anything else that was bad, so why were they throwing him away? Why was he not good enough for them anymore? Chiaki blinked when the cup fell from his hands. He had splashed some of the hot liquid on his hands and it had caused him to loosen his grip on the cup. Chiaki stared at his red skin and wondered why he hadn’t been able to feel the burning liquid. Maybe it was because he was still in shock. It was a reasonable answer he supposed. He knew there was no use dwelling over something he couldn’t change, but he couldn’t help it.

“You...will never abandon me…right?” He asked the other softly.

People told lies. That was something Chiaki had learned quickly as he’d grown up. Just because someone said they’d do something didn’t mean they’d really do it. It was easy to tell someone something, but meaning what you said was something completely different. When he thought about it, his parents had never promised him they’d always be with him or would always love him. He supposed that meant they hadn’t lied to him. Still, though, it hurt to be cast aside this way. He hadn’t thought things would end this way. He probably shouldn’t have gotten such high hopes in the first place. He hadn’t had much of a relationship with his parents to begin with. It wasn’t like he’d been the model son or the one they’d put all their hopes into. Most of the time he’d been ignored and sometimes even put down. Still, he hadn’t given up on becoming someone that was worth something. His efforts had been in vain, of course. He didn’t understand where things had gone so wrong. They’d probably always been wrong he supposed. He didn’t want things to become that way with Devon. If the other were to hate him, he was sure he’d die. The only thing he wanted right now was for Devon to promise he’d love him forever.

Right now, his mate was the only person he really needed. It was scary how things could change so fast. He’d been at home before and now he was being kicked out. It was a big shock to the boy and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. It was like his brain had failed him and he had no idea what he was supposed to do in this sort of situation. When he looked down he noted that the cup had made a mess and even though he wanted to reach down and clean it up, he found that he couldn’t. It would stain if he didn’t move it, but he didn’t move at all. He found himself just staring at the floor as though it was the most interesting thing in the world. His mind seemed to be blanking out on him and Chiaki wondered if Devon thought he looked stupid at the moment. He probably looked retarded or something. He was a mess too and looked like crap. Even though he was suffering, he couldn’t help but wonder what his mate was thinking of him at the moment. The other probably thought he was useless and wanted to throw him away too. It was probably only a matter of time before he was cast aside again. He was sure that when that day came, he would die.

[~Devon~]

"Oh Chi..." Devon let the reports drop to the table when the cup dropped. Hot liquid spilled all over his mate and he winced when he knelt in front of him to see the angry red splotches on normally pale, beautiful skin. "i will never, never leave you, understand? I am always going to be here for you, no matter what happens or who else hurts you." He snatched up some paper towels from the roll on the counter, coming back to help his mate. Carefully, gently, he dabbed at the spilled drink. He made sure not to hurt welted skin and kissed each spot with his lips.

"Does that hurt? God Chi, i think we need ice. I shouldn't have made it so hot...i'm sorry...." He raised crimson eyes to Chiaki. "What's wrong, love? You can tell me...."

[Deleted]

No, he couldn’t talk about it. He didn’t know how to express how sad he was or how tired he felt. He was tired of a lot of things now. He just wanted to take a long rest from all this. Life was hard. He’d figured that out a long time ago, but he’d never realized just how hard it was. Everything before this had been easy. Even though he’d been oppressed, at least he’d been with his family. Now what did he have? He had Devon, but would that be enough? Would Devon be enough to keep him from getting too lonely? Chiaki grabbed a hold of the other’s arm before he could go anywhere. There was no such thing as forever. Even this person would disappear someday. Chiaki wasn’t dumb. He knew the other wouldn’t be with him always. But even so, he wanted to spend as much time as he could with the other. He looked down at his hand and noted his skin had turned red. Perhaps it’d even leave a scar of sorts. He didn’t want that, but not for the reasons you’d think. He just didn’t want Devon to think he was ugly. Chiaki wanted the other to always want him. It was kind of stupid, though. People aged naturally. The got old and died. Beauty was one of those things that never stayed the same forever.

Before the other could protest, he had crushed their lips together. His hand dug into the other’s skin in a death grip. He didn’t want to leg go of this person. No matter what happened, he was never going to let go. The other leaned forward even more, causing Devon to fall backwards. The boy landed on top of the other in an ungraceful heap. He pulled away from the other’s mouth for a second to regain his breath. He hated the need to breathe. It meant having to break away from this person when they kissed. When he regained his breath, the boy pressed his lips against the other’s again. He didn’t want to talk about anything anymore. Maybe he was just trying to distract Devon from what was really going on or something. He didn’t know. He just felt like doing this. It was kind of funny how he had been scared about doing this kind of thing before. When Devon had kissed him, he’d gotten really nervous and scared. He thought he’d end up doing something wrong and embarrass himself in front of the other. But now, he was begging for Devon to take him. It was ironic how things turned out he supposed. His hand loosened from its grip on the other and proceeded to tug on the man’s clothes. He wanted Devon to shed his clothing. He couldn’t feel the other properly when they were like this.

It was better when he could feel the other’s warmth. Chiaki really liked that about Devon. No matter what, the other was always warm. It was probably just his imagination, but his family had always felt cold. When he’d touched them, they’d never given off warmth. Everyone had always felt cold to Chiaki and he’d thought everyone was like that. He’d thought no one had warmth in them anymore. Of course, now that he’d met Devon he knew that wasn’t right. The other was indeed very warm and right now, Chiaki wanted to feel some of that warmth. One of his hands found itself going up the other’s shirt and touching the smooth skin underneath. Even when they touched, there was always a barrier between them. He wished he could feel all of Devon. Not just his body but even his soul too. It was hard to feel all of the other when their clothes were in the way. He found his actions becoming even more aggressive and the tugging became more forceful. He tore the other’s shirt a little, but he didn’t care. The kiss became deeper and their lips were probably bruised by now. Maybe they’d bleed if he pressed hard enough? Chiaki hoped not. If there was one thing he disliked, it’d have to be blood. But they didn’t bleed, even though Chiaki was pressing their lips together pretty hard. That was something to be glad for he supposed.

[~Devon~]

Devon wasn't at all suprised, not yet. He knew his little mate had a fire in him somewhere and that he got to see it now was an extra bonus. He wanted Chiaki to feel better, to feel good and if this was the only way, who was he to deny his mate anything? Of course, he was flat on his back in the kitchen with a begging angel practically tearing his clothes off. And his mom was where? Oh...the bathroom, yeah. Devon grabbed Chiaki's waist, tugging them forcefully together so the boy was sprawled over top of him, every line of their bodies pressed together, Chiaki's hand caught between them, still flattened to his stomach. Chiaki had been going rough, and if he wanted it that way, Devon could do that, but not on the kitchen floor. "My bedroom," he heaved and by some miracle, stood rather gracefully, helping Chiaki to wrap legs around his waist. This way he could walk easier.

Devon wasn't stupid. It may've been hard for him to look at details and actually get it, but he wasn't stupid. And when it came to his silver haired beauty, he definately wasn't stupid. Chiaki was avoiding everything and anything about what had happened. In a way, it hurt so bad that Chiaki couldn't trust him with this precious information but who was he to argue. He was some punk the other had met at the club. He'd pledged himself eternally to this boy ad yet.....Chiaki still wouldn't hand over everythign to him. They were still seperated and Devon hated that. It was wrong for mates to be like that and he hated it. But he wasn't going to fight with his fragile little mate over it. The boy was carrying, according, still, to his mother, his unborn kit, and Devon would do nothing to get the other angry. He didn't deserve that.

Finally, they were in the safe sanctity of his room and he let Chiaki's legs drop, turned them after claiming another kiss and forced Chiaki's back to the door. He gripped his shirt collar, kissing him back just as hard, pressing his knee between Chiaki's legs. "You want me my little angel?" He asked, mouth shivering centimeters from Chiaki's own bruised and swollen lips. His hands sought out the bottom of the boys shirt and he yanked it over his head, dropping it to the ground somewhere beside them. He felt over Chiaki's stomach and ribs, lower over his navel, even lower until his fingers snapped open the buttons on jeans. He teased for a secoind before tearing his own shirt off. Buttons that had lined the front flew off, but he didn't care. He pressed himself to Chiaki's warmth, trying to sink into his mate. The Zercan wanted to be close, to get as close as he ould, to reach into the depths of his mate and soothe his soul. Their link wasn't strong enough yet, Chiaki couldn't feel him, and he wanted to make it so. He'd have to bite him again, strengthen whatever bond they had made in the alleyway. Licking up Chiaki's throat he grinned, eyes flushing deeper crimson, the pupils narrowing to cat like slits.

[Deleted]

He was using the other. He had never liked the thought of being used by other people, yet that was what he was doing with his mate right now. Toying with his feelings so he wouldn’t find out certain things and preying out his weaknesses. Chiaki wanted it to stop. Even though he knew he could just finish what he started and avoid the questions his mate was sure to ask, he didn’t want to become a liar. Dodging questions like this was sure to be some form of lying and he’d never been a supporter of lying. Chiaki had always thought he was a pretty honest person when it came to most things. He hadn’t thought of himself as someone that deceived others but that’s what he was doing at the moment. Chiaki pushed against the other’s shoulders and looked away a little. He didn’t turn his head, but his eyes lowered so that he couldn’t look at the other. He felt a little ashamed for doing this with Devon and tired from everything. His body hurt from the adventure he’d had in the bushes and he wanted to get some sleep. He shouldn’t have let the other on like this and he shouldn’t have let things go so far but they had and now he didn’t know how to fix it.

“I…don’t feel well…” he muttered softly. “I’m sorry.”

He blinked when his vision blurred only to find that he was crying. It was odd for him to cry so much when he was used to hiding his emotions. The boy closed his eyes as more tears fell. He found that he really disliked crying. He didn’t like having the others see him as weak. This time, he lowered his head and let his hair cover his face. He hadn’t wanted the other to see. It was probably unfair to want his mate to be ignorant of what was going on, but he couldn’t help it. He found that not only was he crying, he really didn’t feel well either. That part hadn’t been a lie. His stomach hurt and he felt like he was going to throw up again. Not only that, but he was getting a headache too. He didn’t like these changes in his body. It was weird how you could go from being a boy to a…pregnant boy. Chiaki had no idea what kinds of things were going on in his body. He didn’t understand many of the things happening but it wasn’t like there was a book to tell him how to make it all stop. He wondered how he was supposed to go on when he didn’t know what his body was doing. He didn’t like not knowing, though he couldn’t help but also be happy about what was going on inside his body at the same time.

“We should stop…” he added. “I…want to go to sleep now…”

He wanted to ignore the fact that he was still crying, but it was something that wasn’t easy to ignore. Chiaki wondered when the tears would finally stop. It seemed like they never would, though. He wrapped his arms around the other in a crushing hug. At least this way, the other didn’t have to see him so upset. Devon always seemed to worry and Chiaki knew it was his fault the other was like that. He wasn’t good at taking care of himself sometimes and ended up doing something to hurt himself like before. If he had just done what they had asked, things would be fine and he’d be at home talking to Devon on the phone. Even though it was better to be with the other rather than just listening to his voice, Chiaki couldn’t help but miss the family that had never appreciated him. It was kind of funny how much he missed them even though they certainly weren’t returning such feelings. He always ended up being the one that was hurt even though he was also the one that tried his hardest to keep from crying.

[~Devon~]

Devon stopped. The heat in his body seemed to leave with how sad his mate was. How was he supposed to make Chiaki feel better when he didn't even know what was wrong. And now the boy didn't even want his attentions. He felt lower than dirt. "Alright....if it's sleep you want, angel, we can go to sleep." He wouldn't be. His first shift for tomorrow started at one o'clock. If he went to sleep now, he'd never get up. Devon knew Chiaki hated to appear weak when he was crying, so all he gave him was a soft kiss on his brow, and took his hand. He led the distraught boy to the bed, every step making him feel worse.

"Here, lay down," he got Chiaki all settled, laying on his side before he crawled behind him. He pressed his chest to the boys' bare back, arms wrapping around a thin waist. "Go ahead and sleep baby....mom will wake you in the morning with a big breakfast, hm? Maybe you can go with him to the bookstore. You said you wanted a job...." He pressed his face to a tender neck, breathing in his mates scent. "I love you," he whispered, hand stroking a flat stomach, hoping his mate felt marginally better.

[Deleted]

Somehow, he didn’t feel better. He was glad the other wasn’t mad at him, but that didn’t make him feel better at all. Chiaki wanted to throw up and maybe even scream. He wanted to yell about how unfair everything was and have a long temper tantrum. But…he didn’t want the other to see that side of him, so he cried instead. His shoulders shook as he let the tears run down his face. He placed a hand over his month so that he didn’t make a noise, but it was obvious he was crying. He was tired of always crying, but it always ended that way. His tears never seemed to stop and he knew he must be annoying Devon. He broke away from the other’s grasp and ran out of the room, making his way to the hall bathroom. As soon as he was inside, he made sure to lock the door before letting his cries become a bit more vocal, though not enough to make his mate’s neighbor’s or anything like that. He sobbed quietly and found that he was a mess at the moment. He didn’t want to be looked at anymore. It made him feel ashamed and like he was not worthy of the person that said he loved him. Not only that, but his stomach was hurting now…well…no…not hurting.

Just kind of odd. Chiaki had always had weak stomach and even a TV show could make him throw up. It was odd how his body was changing and it was making him a bit sick. It was like the one time he went on a roller coaster. Crying always gave him a headache and he’d thrown up before after crying for long periods of time, perhaps it was something like that. He rushed to the toilet when he felt his stomach, lurch, not wanting to make a mess of the sink. He wished he had brought something like a toothbrush because his mouth felt foul. He turned on the water in the sink and rinsed his mouth out. He had to wash it several times before the acid taste came out. Chiaki hated throwing up. For one thing, he did it often when he was under stress, like right now. Not only that, but he couldn’t even feel comfortable with the other as his mate touched him. He felt like he was getting really sick. He tended to get sick easily when he was worried about something or stressed out. The boy wiped his face and spat in the sink just to make sure he had gotten everything out of his mouth. He touched the doorknob for a second and finally opened it after a slight hesitation. He felt so disoriented and a little dizzy.

He took a step forward and he ended up falling flat on his face, embarrassed and unsure of what just happened. He wasn’t the type to randomly fall down, so he wasn’t sure what had just occurred. He tried to use his arms to push himself upwards, but it seems that it didn’t happen that way. His arms weren’t strong enough to help him get off the floor. So he cried on the floor. Even though he wanted to get up, he found that he was stuck on the floor. So he rolled over until he was on his back and stared up at the ceiling, wondering when he’d be able to get up. Now, he kind of wished he was somewhere else…and that he could stop crying. There were always days when he felt like things would never turn out well. He just ended up depressed and sad. But he had hoped he’d never have a day like this, even though it was just another part of his life. He put his hands over his eyes so that the light wouldn’t hurt them and you couldn’t see that he was crying. The tears fell from his eyes, but they leaked through his hands and fell down his cheeks. He knew his eyes were probably red and puffy by now, but he didn’t really care about that. His back hurt and so did the back his head. The floor wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep on, though he didn’t mind it as much as he thought he would. Maybe it was because he was so sad that he really didn’t mind these sorts of things.

[~Devon~]

Devon watched his mate rush away sadly, in distress. What had he done? Was it something he said…or maybe…maybe he’d tried to get him in bed and Chiaki thought he just wanted him for sex. The zercan sat up, rubbing his arm, crimson eyes focused on the bathroom door right across the hall. He should’ve known he would mess this up. It was a given. He messed everything up, and loving Chiaki was the same way. That was it…the boy didn’t love him anymore and couldn’t even stand to be with him, to lay with him and sleep. Devon looked at the necklace hanging around his neck and touched it, the doubt eating at him. Doubt about this mating thing, just plain old doubt that left a bad taste in his mouth and a sickness in his stomach.

Wait…..that sickness, it wasn’t from him. Oh yeah…the bond. Which meant Chiaki was sick. Devon whimpered and slid off the bed, padding softly to his door. He wanted to open it and go in, to comfort his little angel even if Chiaki didn’t love him anymore. But if he didn’t…then that would get the boy mad at him…right? Gah! This was so confusing. His heart told him to do one thing, his mind instructed him differently. His heart ws looking out for Chiaki, his mind was trying to save him the trouble. But there was no trouble! Devon’s brow furrowed and he started forward, determined. Only….Chiaki opened the door and stumbled out before he got a chance to be the big, bad life-giver.

The boy didn’t look like he saw him, more like his thoughts and the clouded eyes were keeping him back. And he looked….dizzy. In fact, it wasn’t two seconds later before Chiaki fell, landing hard enough to make Devon wince, and the floor shake. It was Taki, his mother, that rushed upstairs, going to his mate.

“Devon, what happened?” He asked, gathering the boy up, brushing silver hair.” Devon’s tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, but he forced himself to talk anyways.

“Well we…uh…we came up here to go to bed, only, Chiaki was tired and didn’t want to do anything so we laid down. He ran to the bathroom and um….I don’t know. I felt sick so I’m assuming he was sick and he just came out and fell down…” The man looked at him for a second before nodding.

“I’ll put him to bed. You go lay down, you have work in an hour and things like this can be stressful. I’ll talk to him. Come on Chiaki sweety.” Taki took one of the boys arms and put it around his shoulder, hoisting him up, bending to adjust to the others height. Devon watched, even more distressed s his mother took his mate into another bedroom. He padded quietly back to bed and laid down, burying his face in the pillow Chiaki had been laying on.

“How do you feel?” Taki had gotten Chiaki tucked into the guest room bed and brushed back the boys hair. “You can sleep with Devon then, I just don’t want him hovering over you and demanding you tell him anything. My son can be quite the worry wart.” He tucked the blankets up to the boys’ chin. “You don’t have to tell me anything, but I do have some medicine that will settle your stomach.”

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Chiaki was glad to get out of there. He hadn’t wanted to lie on the floor or give Devon the impression that he was incapable of taking care of himself, which he probably wasn’t. He was glad the other had helped him get into bed because he didn’t think he could get to bed on his own. Perhaps he was worst at taking care of himself that he’d thought because he couldn’t really get around on his own. When he was put to bed, he wondered about his mate. Somehow, that was always the first thing on his mind. He hoped the other didn’t get mad that he wanted to be alone right now. The other was going to ask about what happened and Chiaki wasn’t sure if he was ready to answer the other’s questions. After all, this wasn’t just painful, it was embarrassing too. It wasn’t easy to tell people that your parents hated you so much that they wanted to get rid of you. It was like someone had stabbed him in the heart or something. He had never thought pain like this existed. In a way, being thrown away hurt more than the loneliness from before, but that was something he didn’t want to talk about. He covered himself with the sheets and blankets because he was sure he would start crying again any time soon.

“It…feels weird…my stomach I mean…” he muttered. “And I don’t want Devon to think I’m being a baby… But I know I’m going to end up crying a lot and I don’t want him to see that. I don’t meant to be a crybaby, but I know he’ll think I’m one if I keep crying like this. I’m stupid, aren’t I? All I do is make people worry and stuff… I don’t want Devon to think I’m a child!”

He snuggled deeper into the covers. Everyone thought he was a little kid, so they made all kinds of decisions for him. He didn’t like that at all and he thought it was better for him to decide things without having someone tell him what to do. The boy already found the tears spilling from his eyes. He cried easily now, though. His mate had cracked his mask of indifference and all those pent up emotions were spilling in the form of tears. But…even though he hated that he was crying and even though he didn’t want to seem weak…he couldn’t help but wish Devon was here to comfort him. It was pretty contradicting, to want Devon here and yet not want him here at the same time. But of course, he didn’t care. He was too busy crying to care if his desires made sense or not. He found it hard to breathe properly and it felt like he was gasping for breath and had the hiccups at the same time. He was sure his face looked like a mess at the moment and that he’d cried too much again. His eyes were getting tired and hurting a little. It was common for him to get like that when he was upset.

The blanket that was covering him was used to wipe his eyes, though he knew that wouldn’t stop his eyes from being less red or puffy. He wasn’t sure why he kept crying or making such a big mess of everything, but it seems that was what was happening. He peeked out from the blankets slightly to get a look at the other. He didn’t want Devon’s mother to think he was weird too, but it was probably too late for that. The other probably thought he was weak for crying so much and hiding under the covers like a baby. But still, sometimes he had his childish moments and it wasn’t like he could help it. It was something else had to work on he supposed. There were many things he needed to work on before he stopped feeling like a worthless child. He needed to learn to stop crying so much and become an adult like Devon. The other was cool and could do anything, which made Chiaki look up to him. He wanted to be that way too, but he didn’t know how long that’d take.