Whispered Dreams (Open Thread)

[kinome]

Kinome shrugged. “I can’t earn enough to keep the both of us properly fed.” He explained. “And to top things off I now have to but medication that I cannot afford. My doctor doesn’t understand the concept and keeps yelling at me for neglecting the medication.” Kinome sighed. “But what am I supposed to do? Let my father starve? I can’t send him to the institution. It’s scary… scary and lonely there. It’s so strange. You feel so detached, so cold. I can’t do that to him. I just can’t. All those needles…” Kinome shivered. That was another reason he tended to conveniently ‘forget’ his meds. “and pills…”

Kinome drew away from Adish, feeling the loss instantly. “I can’t ask you to stay. I loved my father once. I loved him deeply but over time I lost the ability and all I have left is emptiness. I got tired of everything. I can’t do that to you. I cannot. It wouldn’t be fair to and if you have to take care of me it will happen to you, the same way it happened to me. You will blame me, become bitter when you receive no warmth or love for your efforts…” Kinome’s heart ached at the words, for unbeknownst to him, he already loved Adish, the same way as he still loved his father but had long ago lost the ability to recognise the emotion and find joy in it.

[Adish]

Adish sadly reverted his gaze. His heart was being torn apart. It couldn't be possible for Kinome, his mate, to not return his affections... ever. It wasn't possible! Adish bit his lip and let out a shakey sigh. "I.... I refuse to believe that. You are it for me, Kinome... If I don't love you, I will have nothing and no one...," he whispered softly, staring at a wrinkle in the blankets. "Please.... just....." He looked up at the silver-haired Human with a desperate look. "Please," he pleaded, "I had no idea I would find anyone like you in my lifetime... I was meant to meet you because we are mates; we belong to eachother. I can't be anywhere without you anymore..." He had to make Kinome see that; he couldn't think of anything else to do. Adish quickly stood, pulling Kinome into his arms and kissing him gently on the lips. Even if it's just one last kiss Adish decided, It will at least be something, right? Before he makes me leave him...

[kinome]

Kinome's eyes widened in surprise at the sudden touch at his lips. he stiffened in shock and was about to pull away when his own body responded to Adish. Warmth ran through him causing Kinome to gasp, opening his mouth and pressing closer to Adish, wanting to be in as close contact with Adish as possible. He closed his eyes, sensations of warmth overwhelming him, a sharp scent suddenly permeating the air, drawing his thoughts further from coherency. Without realizing it he groaned softly and whimpered painfully when it felt like Adish was going to pull away.

[Adish]

When Adish had kissed Kinome, it was more of a desperate act... He hadn't actually expected the Human to return it so...

He started to pull back, planning on giving Kinome a very surprised look, but when the boy made such a painful whimpering sound, he couldn't seem to. He obligingly pulled Kinome closer, gently placing a hand on the boy's cheek to tilt his head up. His lips... so soft.... he thought languidly, not really thinking at all.

[kinome]

Kinome savoured the kiss, enjoying the warmth and what he knew to be an illusion of care it provided. Illusion or not, he didn't want this to end, didn't want to return to cold reality, so he wrapped his arms around Adish's neck, linking his fingers and drawing himself closer by lifting himself onto the toes of his good foot.

He groaned in frustration when the need to breath demanded he pull away. Reluctantly Kinome obliged, pulling away from the warmth that seemed to drive the hurt and cold emptiness inside away. Grey eyes stared up at Adish, Kinome's slight form moving with the deep pants.

[Adish]

Adish looked down at Kinome with half-lidded eyes. He smiled softly and gently carressed the Human's cheek. "Kinome... I love you," he stated lightly. It was true, he did love him, but he wasn't sure how Kinome would react. He carefully took Kinome's hand's in his own and placed them against his heart. "Can you feel my hearbeat calling for you? Your heart does the same for me," he explained softly. He wanted the boy's love... he would do whatever it took for him to even get the smallest bit.

[kinome]

Kinome shifted awkwardly. “I can’t…” He protested, tears running down his face. “I can’t do this. I can’t expect you to give up your life and happiness and join me in this hellhole of existence. I HATE it. I hate living. I hate having to watch my father like this. I hate having to be hit, working as hard as I can and never having enough to feed my father let alone myself! Having to give up all my dreams because of responsibility! I hate feeling anything at all because as soon as I start feeling I start to get overwhelmed with PAIN!”

Kinome was now yelling in distress, tugging at the hands Adish held, tears pouring down his face. “I hate the pain. I’m TIRED of it! Will it never be ENOUGH? Don’t promise me love! Don’t promise me happiness! As much as I want it, dream of it, long for it, I cannot accept it. For if I do… every hurt I have learnt to bear, to ignore, to live with will tear me apart… it will kill me! KILL ME I TELL YOU! You cant ask that of me… YOU CAN’T” Kinome finished, sobbing desperately.

[Adish]

Adish watched Kinome with a pained look. He frowned and thrust Kinome's hands away from him. "And is it not enough that I suffer as well? You think that I don't understand what it feels like to be scorned by a parent? to be hated for something that was out of your control?! Do you think that life is any easier for me? I hate being pushed away from my family! I hate not being able to see my little brother! I hate having to come back and see what horrors were placed upon him in my absence because I couldn't be there to protect him! You think it's easy for me to live, knowing that, because of me, my brother was beaten and raped and left for dead?! Are you so selfish that you think your the only one that ever feels pain?" he shouted. Tears were flowing from his eyes, though that didn't show in his voice. He hated seeing the image of Eade's twisted, broken body lying on a mat as his father and mother carried him away to the medi-box. It was a disgusting sight that only came second to the twisted bodies of Eade's attackers as they died. "I wouldn't ask anything from you... If I didn't think you could give it...," he mumbled, fingering the scar that ran across his chest.

[kinome]

Kinome shook his head, silver strands whipping into his face as he backed away from Adish, pure pain coursing through him. He chocked back a violent sob, turned and hobbled out of the room as fast a physically possible, heading straight out the front door, silent tears pouring down his face. And so... he had thus been proven. Kinome stumbled, a particularly strong sob causing him to double over, arms moving to his stomach, his vision blurring before him from more than just the tears.

Kinome paled, recognising the feeling. He was going to be rather sick he knew. He still hadn't taken an insulin shot and his body was beginning to protest the maltreatment. Reaching the border of the park, Kinome was unable to hold it in any longer, leaning forward and vomiting on the ground before, him, groaning as the tears continued to flow, his body aching in fatigue. When the cramps finally let up, Kinome sunk to the ground, leaning against the gate that led into the park, head dropped back, eyes closed. Why couldn’t he just die?

[Adish]

Adish watched painfully was Kinome ran.. or limped, rather, out of the room and the house. It felt like the boy was ripping Adish's beating heart from his body with every stumbling step he took. The dragonis collapsed to the ground, gripping at his chest as a pathetic sob seeped out of him.

Why did he yell at him? Why? He was so stupid. Adish whimpered, wiping roughly at the tears that were rolling down his face. How could he have accused his poor Kinome of those things? He was horrible... he was so stupid! He didn't have the right to call Kinome selfish, or anything else, when he was just the same. He shouldn't have told his mate all the horrible things he'd done...

Adish fingered the scar again. He used to be so proud; he'd defended his brother getting this mark. One of the men that had raped his brother had put up a pretty decent fight, not that he was any match for Adish, but he did manage to get that one scar in before dieing. To think, that he was so pathetic as to take pride in something so grotesque. How could he ever think that he was good enough for Kinome?

After a moment more, Adish stumbled pathetically to his feet. He started out the door and started a searching for his lost mate. He knew, now, that he wasn't any good for Kinome. He was only getting the boy hurt and making things worse for him, but he at least needed to make sure he was okay, then he would leave him be. Once he found the Human, he quickly approached.

His heart was practically in tatters by now, but what was left was aching at the sight of Kinome. He gently squatted down beside the boy, touching the boy's shoulder. "Don't freak out," he mumbled, his voice blank, "You win, okay? Just let me get you home so you can eat and fix yourself up... and then I'll go..." he mumbled, biting his lip after speaking to keep himself from whimpering anymore than he already had.

[kinome]

Kinome shivered, not really hearing what Adish was saying, nause, exhaution and weakness keeping him mostly immobile. Something in him told him Adish was there though. He allowed his body to fall to the side, dropping against Adish. "I feel sick." He complained childishly, knowing full well that it was entirely his own fault but feling like complaining anyway.

[Adish]

Adish sighed softly. Kinome didn't really care, did he? If that's all the responce he got...

"I'll bet. You should eat and then sleep some more," he said softly as he wrapped an arm around the Human's shoulders. "I'll carry you," he offered, no more feeling in his words than before. Once he had the boy in his arms, Adish walked slowly back towards the boy's home, so he wouldn't make him sick again.

[kinome]

Kinome allowed his head to drop against Adish, knowing that he had gone too far this time... too long without his meds. He struggled to keep his eyes open but knew that if he allowed himself to drift off in this state he risked coma. Or so he had been told the last time. "Everyone leaves." He mumbled, rather incoherently, not really aware of what he was saying. "Either by walking away, dying or losing their mind. No one stays... It would be so easy for me to leave, you know... especially now... To just die. My body would happily poison itself. I wouldnl't even have to do anything so technically it wouldn't be viewed as a suicide. All I would have to do is allow the poison to build up by iteslf... let myself sleep... slip away. It's so close you know... coma... Only it takes long to build up the poison to this stage... lots of neglect... but then again I haven't been able to afford the insulin for the longest time... been tired... thirsty all the time." Kinome licked his lips. "It's normal though." He continued. "And difficult to know the difference between the flu that has been going around and this... But what choice do I have... die from my own body poisoning me or from starvation? See... I told you you would leave. I told you it's would be impossible to st...ay..." Kinome's words faded away as his conciousness drifted away.

[Adish]

Adish listened silently to the other's words, tears slowly dribbling down his face. He wasn't sure if he should wake Kinome or not. The boy wanted to sleep, didn't he? The dragonis' bit his lip, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as another sob shook his body. He walked quickly back to the Human's house and placed the boy on the bed. He wiped roughly at his face before trying to wake Kinome by shaking him and gently smacking the boy's face. "Kinome... Kinome....," he mumbled softly. "Kinome... I... I only want to make you happy... I thought that this is what you wanted... for me to leave... You told me to leave... Please.... Please let me just stay... even if you don't love me... even if you hate me! Please... just let me take care of you... But... if it would make you happy, I would do anything for you.... I would leave you, my love... my mate... if you wished it....," he mumbled softly, hugging the boy's body and burying his face in the other's hair. "Just... please don't leave me like this... Don't die hating me for being so stupid... don't go thinking that I thought you were selfish or stupid or anything! That's all me! Please, Kinome...," he whispered hoarsely, tears streaming his face and dampening Kinome's silver locks.

[kinome]

Kinome didn't move, didn't wake, remaining oblivious to Adish's panic and tears, lost somewhere deep within the realms of his mind, not really wanting to leave. Nothing awaited him upon his return. Only his addled father. Adish himself had stated that he was leaving and the statement had hurt beyond belief, taking from Kinome any and all will to fight against the illness he had been cursed with. An illness he could not afford. Maybe it was justice. He should have died long ago... the day his mother had died but had not... Later, death came once more to claim him, only a doctor had snatched him back... a doctor he had lied to recently, not admitting to the weakness that he knew was the forewarning of this... Not realising how long he had in fact ignored the warning signs. Warning signs recently camouflaged by his flu.