Tokyo (Open Thread)

[Deleted]

Love? He wasn’t sure how you could love someone after such a short time. Though he felt something towards Kiegan, he wasn’t sure it was love. He had never been in love before and had no idea what that felt like. It was confusing to think about and he wasn’t sure if that was what he was feeling right now. He did know that when Kiegan was sad, his heart hurt. There was a deep pain in his chest when Kiegan cried and a deeper one knowing it was his fault. The closeness of the man was making his cheeks red and he could hardly think. That person’s smile…he wanted to see it more often. He didn’t want Kiegan to be sad anymore. Was this what they called love? Were those what these feelings were? Maybe…

He noted with amusement that Kiegan moved like a cat. The man seemed to enjoy being close to him and was pressed up against him very closely. He wondered why this was. The movements the other made were graceful and very cat-like. He wasn’t tired, though. He didn’t want to sleep like Kiegan said. There were too many things to think about. He had missed school for one thing. This meant a phone call home. He knew one of his siblings would pick up and that would cause a mess. Then, there was the fact he had gotten more scars. His siblings knew about them since they’d seen them before, but they didn’t care. However, he had to hide them anyway. It would cause rumors if the wrong people saw them, which would make his mother angry. His clothes were ruined by the water and probably smelled. His shoes were forever ruined since they were leather. If he spent another day away from him, someone would notice. He sighed a little.

“Ne, Kiegan…” he said softly. “What is love?”

[kiegan]

Kiegan gave a deep, low disgruntled groan. He was utterly exhausted and wanted to sleep more than anything else. However, it seemed that Nathaniel was wide awake. Go figure. The boy ‘had’ gotten more sleep than Kiegan had, what with Kiegan running around in worry when his little mate had run the fever. Kiegan had been worried sick Now, however, he wanted nothing more than to sleep curled up against his little mate.

He pried one sleep filled purple eye open to gaze at Nathaniel. “What is love?” He repeated the boy’s question before attempting to answer it, his voice sleepy. “That would depend.” He yawned, stretching out like a cat, trying to keep himself awake enough to think. “Love is unique to every individual as well as being unique between every pair of individual’s. It can be rather complicated or rather simple, depending on whom it comes from and whom it is directed at. To me, love is about caring for the other so much that you can’t live without the other, or mates love that is. My love for my parents is different. I want to make them proud, be there when they need me, show my support, but I don’t want to breath every breath they take like I do yours. I want to make you happy, nothing would make me happier. That’s love. I want to sleep curled up next to you forever, breathing in your scent, feeling the warmth of your skin. That’s my love. I want to hold you and want you to hold me back.”

Kiegan opened the other eye, just as sleepy as the first and gave a small shy smile. “I want you to want me as much as I want you, to stay with me, grow old with me, have kits with me…”

[Deleted]

Nathaniel smiled a little at Kiegan, but now he was confused. Kits? Like kittens? He wasn’t much of a pet person… He had had a goldfish once, but it never made it through the car ride home. He was allowed to have as many pets as he wanted, but he chose not to get any. He felt he wasn’t very responsible when it came to pets. He liked being alone and pets made too much fuss. He wasn’t sure what Kiegan was talking about. Did Kiegan want them to get cats? That was…weird.

“Ne, Kiegan, what to do you mean by kits?” Asked Nathaniel. “Is that like some sort of cat…? I’m not good with pets…”

He didn’t fell like going to sleep right now. In fact, he was wide awake. Sleeping was boring and he had slept enough. Besides, he wanted to talk to Kiegan. The other looked really tired and half dead, though. That was disappointing. Oh well, he could talk enough for the both of them… He was close to pouting, though. He didn’t want Kiegan to sleep, even though the other was obviously tired. The brunette pulled the blankets off and rolled over onto his stomach.

“Kiiiieeegaaaan!” He whined. “If you fall asleep, I’ll do something unpleasant to you.”

One of his legs was intertwined with Kiegan’s and his hand was clutching a bit of the older man’s hair. He was staring up at Kiegan, his eyes open and full of alertness. There wasn’t a bit of drowsiness in him, proving he wasn’t going to sleep any time soon. He gave the other’s hair a slight tug, as if threatening to do worse if he didn’t get his way. He looked better now and the only sign of what occurred were the scars and blood stained clothes. Nathaniel was good at pretending things hadn’t happened. He hid things easily and could make anyone believe that nothing was wrong. He’d had a great deal of practice when it came to the art of lying. It just showed that he’d been doing this for a very long time.

[kiegan]

Kiegan winced at Nathaniel’s threat. His eyes had dropped sleepily shut once more during Nathaniel’s enquiry about kits. He supposed that was the reason for the boy’s whining. He hadn’t responded to the question, well on his way to sleep. However, now, he was rather violently torn from said sleep. He pried his purple eyes open once more to frown sleepily at Nathaniel. He let out a dissatisfied hiss before he could help himself, baring his still human teeth.

Feline nature, brought hastily under control once more, Kiegan sighed deeply, sitting up in bid to keep himself awake. He winced slightly when the movement placed slight pressure on his hair from where Nathaniel still clutched at the strands. Kiegan tilted his head to the side, relieving the pressure. “Kits. You ask… As you already know, I’m not human. Kits would be our children. A result of our mating.” Kiegan yawned sleepily. “They, like me, would also not be human, thus we can’t exactly call them children. Our people call our cubs kits, the same as you would call a dogs offspring puppies, a birds offspring chicks and so forth.” He stifled another yawn, blinking purple eyes at Nathaniel.

[Deleted]

“Aha! So you are after my virginity you pervert!” Nathaniel stated with a tiny smirk on his face. “Wait a second…”

It took him a moment to process the information. He had a feeling Kiegan wouldn’t be the one having the children, which meant only one thing… Kiegan was going to impregnate him…he was going to have children…he was male… This had to be a joke! That’s right, Kiegan was messing with him. He was sure he couldn’t get pregnant. His health teacher had said only girls could get pregnant and he wasn’t a girl. She had passed out condoms and everything. There had been a film and traumatizing pictures about giving birth.... They had gone over STDs and been tested over it. He was sure males did NOT get pregnant. Then again…Kiegan was form some planet he’d never even heard of….

“T-That’s not funny!” He exclaimed, his voice slightly high-pitched. “You have a crappy sense of humor Kiegan!”

Nathaniel let go of the other’s hair and moved slightly away from the other. He picked up a pillow and tossed it at the other’s face. The guy had scared him and it hadn’t been very funny at all. The whole thing had made him blush a little. He didn’t know what to say. Having children had never really been on his list of things to do. He had always figured whoever he married would have the children. He was expected to give his family heirs with whoever they chose as his bride. But…it seemed like Kiegan wanted to have children with him for other reasons. Like…he loved him and such... He’d never really been offered a choice in anything, but it seemed like Kiegan was offering him a choice now. If he said no, Kiegan wouldn’t try anything. It made him feel warm inside that the other considered his feelings.

“Baka…” he mumbled.

[kiegan]

Kiegan tried to dodge the pillow that was thrown at him by his temperamental mate. “It wasn’t meant to be funny.” Kiegan protested, hurt. “Don’t you want to have my kits? Am I that repulsive? I would never do anything to you that you didn’t want and not until you come of age! You should know that by now. Also, I’m not stupid, thank you very much. I happen to know that it doesn’t work that way on earth. That males don’t bear children, but it works in Zerca, even when the mated partner is a human male. The first kit is conceived during the first mating and claiming actually.” Kiegan tried to explain what he knew to be a foreign concept to the boy. “They’re cute and fluffy and utterly adorable. They also get up to all kinds of mischief but life would be lonely without the little brats.”

Kiegan placed the pillow down, lying down upon it so that he could stare up at Nathaniel with mournful, pleading eyes. “I want to have kits with you one day. I’d love them, look after them and even help with the housework. Please say yes… My parents would be terribly disappointed if they couldn’t have little grandkits running about the house. They’d adore you, you know.” Kiegan chewed at his lip, sulking slightly. He carefully watched his little mate, wondering what the boy was thinking. Nathaniel was probably thinking that Kiegan was insane. Especially considering the background the boy was coming from. Kiegan, however, didn’t know how he could even hope to prove the truth of his words to the human. He stretched out again, still incredibly sleepy but willing to forgo rest in order to talk to his wide awake little mate. In order to keep himself awake, however, Kiegan resorted to a flurry of movement. He had barely managed to settle on the pillow when he was once again moving, turning to lie on his stomach, still gazing at Nathaniel, waiting for a response.

[Deleted]

Nathaniel wondered why Kiegan was always so patient with him. He’d seen the male panic and lose his cool, but never get truly angry at him. Even though he’d done many things that deserved Kiegan’s rage, the other had been very patient with him. It seemed more like Kiegan was courting him than trying to force him into anything. He’d never had someone try to win his affections before. He had to admit, it felt nice to have someone make a fuss over you once in a while. Kiegan made everything sound so wonderful. He really did want the same thing Kiegan wanted, but he was still scared. He knew happiness could easily be taken away. It was scary to think about how everything could change so fast. He’d changed during this time with Kiegan. He was a little less broken and a little bit happier.

“I…don’t think you’re repulsive…” he said quietly. “It sounds…odd…and scary…but…”

Nathaniel scooted over so that he was right next to Kiegan. He gave the man a long stare before moving even closer. He pulled Kiegan towards him and slid under him so that the man was draped on top of him. Nathaniel shifted until he was comfortable and then wrapped his legs around the older male’s waist. He pressed his lips against the other’s and wrapped his arms around the red head’s neck. It was an odd position to be in and if anyone had walked in at the moment, they would have gotten a rather nice surprise. Nathaniel was completely under Kiegan and clinging to him as though his life depended on it. His kiss, though sloppy and inexperienced, was still rather sweet. It left the younger boy breathless when he finally did pull away. His cheeks were flushed, giving them a pinkish tint, and his eyes were half open. His legs released Kiegan and he let his arms drop back down to his sides.

“….fine,” the boy said simply.

It was as much of an answer as you were getting out of Nathaniel. It was his way of telling his mate he wanted those things. He wouldn’t mind having the other’s children if that was what Kiegan wanted. He was sorry he had laughed before and he wasn’t sure what to do to make it right. He wanted to have children with Kiegan and meet his parents. Maybe if he was with Kiegan, it’d all be alright.

[kiegan]

Kiegan was surprised at the boy’s actions. Nathaniel had kissed him… Nathaniel had KISSED him and he had been too shocked to react. Not only had the boy kissed him, but also he had practically wrapped himself around Kiegan. He hadn’t expected anything remotely so forward from his little mate who seemed so skittish about having to touch. And so, Nathaniel’s actions earned him the amusing sight of Kiegan gaping down at him in shock, left momentarily speechless.

Kiegan swallowed nervously, gaping down at the boy beneath him. It seemed his little mate wanted him too, however the rush of excitement did not come. Kiegan was still in shock, not sure if this was real. It seemed too good, too easy when dealing with Nathaniel, to be real. Kiegan chewed on his lip for a moment, studying the boy’s flushed features. It really was a becoming look, on his little mate. Extremely attractive and dangerous. Dangerous, because it tugged at his baser senses and demanded that he claim the boy before anyone else could even remotely see such an expression on his face.

Kiegan growled deeply in frustration. He could feel the boys heat seeping through the clothes. They were so close; it was almost easy to imaging the flimsy barrier was non-existent. Taking a few deep breaths in order to get himself under control, Kiegan slipped off of Nathaniel to lie down next to him, pressed closely up to him. “Yokata. I’m glad you don’t hate me.” He breathed in relief, burying his nose in Nathaniel’s neck where it met his shoulder.

[Deleted]

It seemed his actions confused the other male. He hoped he had gotten his point across, though. He hadn't been sure what to do and it had just felt...right. Nathaniel liked the feeling of Kiegan's lips against his. He wasn't sure how to tell his mate this, though. In fact, he wasn't sure how to share his feelings period. He had never had someone worry over what he felt, so it was something new. Most of the time, he didn't even bother showing emotions. He just hid it all inside and pretended nothing was wrong. But...it was hard to do that with Kiegan. He wanted his mate to know what he was feeling. He wanted him to care and make a big deal out of it. It was strange. When others tried to but into his life, he got so angry and wanted them to leave him alone. With Kiegan, it was different. It was like he wanted the other to butt into his life.

It was all so confusing. Half the time, he wasn't sure what to do. When he thought he was doing something right, he made Kiegan sad. When he thought he had done the wrong thing, Kiegan was happy. It made his brain hurt. He had heard relationships were confusing, but he hadn't thought they were this confusing. It wasn't like he wanted a bad relationship with Kiegan...he was just lost on what to do half the time. Maybe it was just best to stop thinking about everything and stop listening to his brain. It seemed like his brain was determined to screw him over. It was his mind that gave him all those thoughts and doubts. It was his mind that was making him do the wrong things. Maybe, it was okay to listen to what his heart told him....just this once, though.

Nathaniel snuggled closer to Kiegan. He smiled a little when he felt the other's face buried into his sensitive skin. He wrapped his arms around the other's waist and held on tightly. He'd never let go. He was comfortable this way and he didn't want to let go.

"Ano...Kiegan...does...it hurt?" He asked hesitantly. "Does...sex hurt?"

It had been on his mind for a while now. It wasn't like he was completely ignorant as to what took place...he...had just never experienced such things before. He wasn't sure if Kiegan knew, but he was the only person he could ask. As embarrassing as it was to ask anyone, he's rather ask Kiegan than anyone else. Besides, he was curious... He knew his face was really red right now and was glad Kiegan wasn't looking at him at the moment.

[kiegan]

Kiegan choked, turning a bright shade of red. He sat up, trying to catch his breath. What an unbelievable question to be asked. His mate had no sense of subject that might be better broached at a different time. Once he had managed to get his breath back, color, unfortunately for him still woefully gone and replaced by red, he attempted to answer the question. “I… I … anou ne… don’treallyknow.” He managed to blurt out in a sudden rush. “I… anou ne, was afraid to ask. My brother seems happy enough and I have never heard anyone complain but I really didn’t think I would find a mate so I never worried about anything like that.”

Kiegan shifted uncomfortably under Nathaniel’s gaze, a little ashamed of his lack of knowledge. He had been convinced his purpose in life had been to help others and had not even considered the possibility that he might stumble upon a mate. “Anyway…” Kiegan coughed. “I don’t think it is something we should worry about anytime soon. When the next ship comes, if you want, we can go home and ask my parents”

[Deleted]

"You'd ask your parents about sex?" Nathaniel asked, a bit skeptical. "I'd never ask my parents anything. My father would just look at me funny and my mother would faint..."

He didn't bother explaining that he was the one that was supposed to be on top when it came to the types of relationships his parents thought of. The thought that one of their children might be gay had never crossed their minds. Nathaniel was sure that if he told them he was going to have the children of another male, they'd die of shock. It'd be bad enough he was dating a male, having children too would be too much. He was sure if he brought Kiegan home with him and introduced him to his parents, the man would never make it out alive. Home... He still had to go back to his house if he wanted to keep Kiegan out of trouble. He was sure his parents had been notified that he hadn't been to school in the last two days. This...was very bad.

"Ano...if I don't go home...I'll be in a lot of trouble Kiegan..." mumbled the brunette. "I haven't been to school in a while and I'm sure my parents will know by now..."

What if they had come home early? This was the first time Nathaniel had caused a problem, much less one that required his school to call. He was going to really get it when he got home... His parents were probably freaking out... He was sure they'd ask what he'd been doing for two days too. He wasn't sure what he was going to tell them. This was going to be very bad...

"Maybe...I should go home now...before you get in trouble..." suggested Nathaniel. "My parents will want to know why I was with an adult...in a hotel room..."

Technically they hadn't done anything, but it still wouldn't look good. The words 'hotel room' and 'older man' would set off red flags in his parents' minds. They definitely wouldn't like that... In fact, he could hear his mother's screams of 'pedophile' and 'pervert' right now...

[kiegan]

Kiegan burst into a flurry of movement at Nathaniel’s statement about his parents. Leaping off the bed, he hastily rummaged around his room. Finding something that he deemed satisfactory he pulled his shirt off, momentarily forgetting about Nathaniel in his haste. Pulling on the emerald green dress shirt, Kiegan buttoned it hastily only to once again rummage around his room. Coming up with a brush he growled his frustration as his hair fought his desperate attempts to tame it into place. “Bloody, frizzy red hair.” He muttered. “I should just cut it off and be done with it already.” Heaving another frustrated sigh he gave up, braiding it before trying it with a black ribbon. He tugged at the braid disgruntled. “Why do you always persist on having a bad day when I need to look good?” He reprimanded his hair.

Smoothing his suddenly sweaty palms over the black pants her wore, Kiegan turned to the bed, smiling sheepishly at Nathaniel. “I can’t do much better than this. I know I’m mot much but I will just tell your parents I found you ill and looked after you, or I can just hide in the bushes, whichever you’d prefer would be fine with me.” Kiegan’s cheeks were tinted slightly pink. He was busy once again chewing his lip. “I however refuse to let you go home alone. I do not want anything to happen to you and this point is non negotiable.” Kiegan’s tone and gaze were both firm in this regard. The safety and happiness of his little mate were his first and foremost priority.

Moving over to the bed, he scooped up his little mate, cradling the boy easily in his arms. Ignoring the boy’s surprised gaze, Kiegan scooped up a blanket off the floor, wrapping it around the boy. Shifting Nathaniel a little, Kiegan finally settled him comfortably in his arms, heading out the hotel room door, he locked it before heading out, blatantly ignoring all the strange looks sent their way. “Okay… you will have to tell me where you live because I have absolutely no idea, then I can see about getting a place in the vicinity. Anyway…” Kiegan coughed nervously. “back to your earlier question.” Kiegan intended to momentarily distract Nathaniel from the shock of his sudden actions, intending to at least in conversation, return some normallacy to what he was doing. “There shouldn’t be any problem asking my parents.” He flushed. “It will be embarrassing, true, and everyone will have a ball laughing at me and how and I quote naive I am, but when they are done having their fun, they will answer.”

[Deleted]

Nathaniel had been very surprised when Kiegan had suddenly leapt from bed. He had wondered what he was doing. He had blushed when the other had taken his shirt off. While Kiegan dressed, Nathaniel took the opportunity to observe the other. The guy really was scatterbrained. He couldn’t even get his hair to stay down. The dress shirt the other had put on was very nice and it looked good on him, but he needed more than just a nice shirt to impress his family. Nathaniel had a feeling that even if Kiegan had come by in a Porsche full of money, his parents still wouldn’t like him. When he thought about it, his parents had never liked anyone any of his siblings had brought home. In fact, his mother was a professional when it came to making people feel bad and finding their faults. When it came to his father, no one was ever good enough to go out with his children. Of course, his parents had always been semi civil to their children’s dates. They just had their own subtle way of making others feel bad. Of course, when it came to Kiegan, he was sure they wouldn’t be so subtle… Kiegan was a male and so was Nathaniel. The rules had changed.

Nathaniel gasped as he was lifted into the air. He wondered if Kiegan had remembered he was covered in blood as they walked into the lobby. Maybe that was another reason people were looking at them oddly. The other probably hadn’t realized it yet… Nathaniel certainly wasn’t dressed to impress at the moment. In fact, he looked like he had been rolling around somewhere because to be honest, he was a mess. His hair was sticking out in random directions, the clothes he wore were blood stained and wrinkled, and he didn’t have shoes on. Yes, his parents were most certainly going to ask questions. For one thing, he didn’t have his own clothes with him. It was obvious what he was wearing didn’t belong to him and he didn’t even have socks on. Maybe it was just as well that they meet Kiegan now…

“I live close by where we met…on a First Street…” muttered Nathaniel as he tried to make the best of his current situation. “I don’t know why they’d laugh at you… I’m the one under you, so you’re not the one that’s going to hurt… Ne, Kiegan, are you a virgin too?”

[kiegan]

Kiegan cocked his head to peer at Nathaniel, suddenly realizing he had forgotten to change the boy’s clothes. Calling himself all kinds of idiot under his breath, Kiegan ran back to the hotel. He opted to take the stairs up, too impatient to wait for the elevator. Once back in the room, he hastily dug around in his belongings coming up with more clothing for the boy. Unwrapping Nathaniel from the blankets he proceeded to hastily put bright blue socks on the boy. He blushed when he reached for the shirt and pants, handing them to Nathaniel. “I think it would be better if you didn’t pitch all bloodied in front of your parents…”

Kiegan dropped the clothing into Nathaniel’s lap, turning his back on the boy, so Nathaniel could change in peace. “I have never lain with another.” Kiegan started, by now well aware of the fact that Nathaniel was not prone to letting a subject drop. “Not my kind of scene. I believe that one should keep themselves for their mate. Don’t you think it’s a nice thing to gift someone you love with? Your first time? I’m not sure how top or bottom works.” Kiegan coughed nervously. “I’m not even sure how bonding works. All I know is that a lot of it is instinctual. I apologize for my lack of consideration with just taking you out looking like that. I am assuming you wouldn’t want your parents to know about the cuts.” Kiegan continued on a conversational tone as he waited for his mate to change. “Bad enough a stranger will be bringing their son home, I guess, no need to worry them even more. Please just don’t, do it again. I have no wish to cause you any trouble you know.” Kiegan sheepishly tugged at his braid. “It’s just that I tend to jump into things without thinking. I’ve always been told I’m far too impulsive, also blamed on my red hair… I will try to be better, for you. I will work harder because you are everything to me” Kiegan finished softly, listening carefully to Nathaniel’s movements, trying to discern what he was now doing.

[Deleted]

It had been amusing when Kiegan finally realized he wasn’t exactly dressed correctly. The socks got a slight frown from Nathaniel. He had never worm so much…color before. All his clothes consisted of only black and nothing else. It seemed like Kiegan had an odd assortment of painfully bright clothes. Nathaniel gratefully took the clothes Kiegan offered, even though he hated the colors. If he had come home looking like he had, his parents would have thought Kiegan had tried something with him. It was funny, but at the same not… He knew his parents wouldn’t be able to understand all this, but he found that they meant very little to him now. What others thought of him didn’t matter to him anymore as long as he had Kiegan.

Nathaniel stood and walked closer to Kiegan. He rested his forehead against the male’s back. He could feel the warmth that radiated off his mate and it made him smile a little. Nathaniel started to unbutton his shirt, his forehead never moving away from Kiegan back. He left the article of clothing slide off his body before starting to unbutton his pants. He let them drop and stood there for a moment before moving away from Kiegan and going back to the bed where he had left the change of clothes. It took him no time at all to get dressed. He left the clothes on the floor and walked back over to where Kiegan stood. He walked around to the man’s front. He wrapped his arms around the other’s waist and pressed himself up against the man’s chest.

“I’m glad…that I’m also your first…” whispered Nathaniel. “I don’t know much about making love either…but… I know I’m supposed to feel you inside me…”

When you went to a public school, you heard all kinds of dirty talk. From what he understood, Kiegan had to be inside him… At least that was the way the girls said and he was sure Kiegan had to do that to impregnate him. The whole pregnancy thing was still freaking him out a little, but he decided to let it go for now. He wanted to feel what everyone else had felt, but only with Kiegan. He wouldn’t let anyone else touch him like that. Kiegan was the only person allowed to touch him. When the other mentioned his cuts, he stifled a little before relaxing again. He clung even tighter to the other man.

“They…already know about the cuts…” the brunette said slowly. “It’s hard to hide…they…just refuse to admit that I…have a problem… I want to promise that I won’t do it again, but I know it’s a lie. Gomen… I know if I’m left alone again…it’ll start again… I did try to stop…and I hadn’t done it in a while, but…it got harder and harder to try to stop as more time passed… I guess I just sort of snapped today…I didn’t want you to see…”

He really did want to stop…for Kiegan…but it was just too hard. Every time something went wrong, every time he saw something sharp, he knew old habits would return. He wanted to get some help, but he didn’t trust anyone but Kiegan. Maybe he just wasn’t ready to admit to anyone else that he really did have a problem. Things were complicated and he didn’t know what to do to make them better.