Tokyo (Open Thread)

[kiegan]

“It is in no way your fault that I did not go home.” Kiegan protested firmly. “I suggest you get that idea out of your mind right this minute. I chose to come here of my free will. I chose to remain here of my own free will, so don’t you dare take the choices I have made away from me. I do not regret any of the choices I have made thus far.”

Kiegan looked up to see the boy’s woe begotten expression. He hastily seated himself on the bed, once again wrapping his little mate in an all encompassing embrace. “It’s not your fault.” He said in a softer tone. “I want to be here, by your side. There is no where else I would rather be at this moment that here by your side. I’m not exactly sure what I would do here though. First I would have to find out what I may be qualified to do. At home I did a bit of everything. Keeps the boredom away you know. Any suggestions would be appreciated.”

Kiegan paused, chewing thoughtfully on his lip. It was an obsessive habit that his parents had never managed to rid him of. That’s not to say they hadn’t tried. “You could continue to stay with your parents until the next tourist ship arrived. I assume that would cause less trouble than me keeping you here? You would need to continue to go to school. I know I probably sound old saying this but an education is very important. You could come visit as often as possible. I will do my best to get a job and a more permanent place to stay while I am here. I’m sure I can think of something.” Kiegan gave a wry chuckle using one arm to sheepishly scratch at his own hair. “It’s not the first time I missed the lift. Second actually, so I doubt anyone will think anything of it. I am rather scatterbrained after all.”

Some more lip chewing ensued as Kiegan tied to figure out if there had been anything he had missed, anything at all. He wanted to lay his little mate’s mind at rest. He didn’t want to worry the boy anymore than was necessary. “Oh, and stop thinking you are causing trouble for me. I do that well enough on my own thank you very much. I adore you and anything connected to you could never be trouble…” Kiegan had small wrinkle on his for forehead as he thought deeply, “unless we are arguing that is. My parents say there is no such a thing as a relationship without arguments. But even then I don’t think it would be a problem because I love you…” Kiegan babbled. He’d just realized that that might have been the wrong thing to say. He didn’t want Nathaniel to think he intended to be argumentative. “I’ll try not to argue, though my parents say I have quite a temper.” He looked worried. “They blame it on the hair you know.” Kiegan winced. He had bitten his lip a little too hard in his attempts to stop his own wayward babbling.

At least the slight pain had been worth it though. He’d managed to finally stop babbling, only to realize the compromising position he was in. One of his hands was clutching the boy’s bare shoulder. He slowly released Nathaniel, coughing in embarrassment, tongue licking wayward drops of blood from his own bleeding lip. “Anou ne…” He rasped out, once more fighting his animal instincts. “Could you please fix your clothes?” He managed to choke out forcefully.

[Deleted]

“I’m glad…it wasn’t my fault…” Nathaniel said softly. “I didn’t want to cause you any trouble…”

He had been worried the other wouldn’t be able to get home. That would have been terrible. Kiegan sounded like he had a nice family and he was sure they’d want to see him again. They’d worry if their son disappeared. Nathaniel was sure his parents would be upset if he disappeared too…but somehow…he knew they’d move on. It wasn’t like they didn’t love him…they just… His parents had never been affectionate with others, not even with each other. They didn’t get attached and it was hard to mourn the loss of someone you weren’t that close to. Sometimes he wished he had gotten to know his parents better, but maybe things were better off this way. It was easier to deal with the fact that they weren’t home very often when he didn’t have deep feelings for them. The question of Kiegan’s profession brought some more thoughts into Nathaniel’s head.

“Well…I don’t know much about jobs… I’ve never had to work before…” he mumbled, a bit embarrassed. “My family is wealthy and they thought it’d be demeaning to have any of us work… I guess it was more of a pride issue. My mother thought it’d make her look bad if any of her children had to work…”

His mother hadn’t wanted her children to lower themselves by working in fast food places or department stores. She said those types of jobs were reserved for the commons children. His mother could be a very vain and shallow person sometimes, especially when it came to the family’s reputation. When they were of age, they were to be given jobs at the family’s company. Nathaniel didn’t even know what his father did and he couldn’t see himself sitting in a boring office all day. He wanted to write and maybe work somewhere fun while he was finishing a book. He hadn’t decided what, but he still had time to think. Nathaniel thought the way the other kept biting his lip was very cute and the man really was a spaz.

“It’s not very good to be scatterbrained when it comes to such important things,” Nathaniel said scolding tone that sounded more amused than anything else. “I’m very different. I’m trying to fight off the urge to clean this room…so…disorganized… How can you find anything… You’ll lose things if you don’t find a good place for them. Don’t worry if you have a temper. A lot of people lose control when they get really angry and besides, you won’t win any arguments even if you do lose your cool. I never lose and I don’t back down. I won’t get scared if you get mad because I refuse to lose at anything.”

If there was one flaw in Nathaniel, it was that he could never back down. Even if he was scared, he couldn’t back down. Losing wasn’t an option and he didn’t give into people easily. He was very stubborn and didn’t care if others got angry at him because of it. It was just how he was and he didn’t want to change. When it came to arguments, he loved to duke it out with someone else. Even if he knew he was wrong, he wouldn’t let it go. It’d be interesting to see Kiegan try and win.

“These…are your clothes…” Nathaniel stated, a bit confused by the man’s reaction to his clothes. “Do you want them back or something? Do I take them off? They don’t fit me…but…do they look bad on me or something…?”

He didn’t know what the man wanted him to do with his clothes. They weren’t his and that’s why they didn’t fit. Kiegan was much bigger than he was…which was sad since Kiegan wasn’t really that big. It wasn’t that he was short; he was just too skinny for his own good. This was confusing… He was still trying to figure out what Kiegan wanted him to do with his clothes and he wasn’t making any progress.

[kiegan]

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Kiegan retorted with frustration. He reached forwards blindly to fix the clothes that were slipping off, nose flaring when his fingers once again encountered the boy’s warm skin. He now purposely bit his lip hard, fighting the impulse to jump the boy. His breathing was hard, a small trickle of blood rolling down onto his chin. He however managed t o win the war with his instincts successfully fixing the clothes to his satisfaction. He heaved a sigh of relief. “There. That’s better.”

He cocked his head to the side, smiling at Nathaniel in reassurance. He poked his tongue out wrinkling his nose. “Don’t you like my clothes? I’m not that big am I? I was always called a midget at home. My brothers had a riot with it. Anyway… that aside, even if you don’t like them at least they will keep you warm. Returning to your comment about wining arguments.”

Kiegan paused to give Nathaniel a searching look. “What are you afraid of? Being wrong? Make mistakes? Being thought weak? Losing? What will you lose by admitting you are wrong? Your pride? Is that worth hurting others for? Life is not about always having to win, nor is it about always being right. It’s okay to make mistakes you know. It’s okay to admit you are not perfect. It’s okay to simply be yourself. Admitting you made a mistake is not a weakness, Actually it takes great strength to admit you might be mistaken. Great strength to work at being better. I know that I tend to sometimes screw up real important things. I also know I am not perfect, but I live with it and work at it. Fighting about it being right will not change the fact that is wrong and tends to hurt the one I fight over it with. Often the other person was only trying to help. I make mistakes and deal with the consequences thereof. Sometimes I hurt others with the mistakes I make. When I do, it’s only right that I admit my mistake and apologize for it. That and do my best to make things right. I can never make anyone happy if I refuse to admit to my own weaknesses. Sometimes admitting our weaknesses can help us build them into our future strengths.” Keigan tone was extremely gentle, however the reprimand therein was clear. He didn’t believe that never admitting you were wrong was the right thing to do. Often that hurt other people. Hurt them in ways one failed to consider when stubbornly refusing to give in.

“I manage to find things. True, I usually have to dig for them but I have accepted that. I do my best when someone else is at stake and if I have to miss a ship home to help someone so be it. I don’t regret it. Not then, not now, not ever. I believe that I need to live my life to the fullest and that will be enough for me. Flaws and all.”

[Deleted]

“If someone hurts me, then I’ll hurt them back if I must…” stated Nathaniel plainly. “They started it. They pushed first. They were the ones who…”

He knew that if someone did something to him, he’d get them back. It’s how he protected himself. He knew that if he did nothing, they’d come back and do it all over again. When he had been little, he used to get picked on. No one ever did anything and he never did anything either, but things changed when he had stopped smiling. His glares and cold stares had become weapons. His quietness had scared people off and he had closed himself off from others. His heart was protected by walls and no one had ever found their way inside. He knew he shouldn’t have done anything, but he had. When others tried to pick on him again, he had used his words to hurt them back. It had been easy. Everyone gossiped around him since they never really noticed him. He knew everything about everyone and there are some things that hurt when they are said out loud.

He knew things about others that made them want to run scared in fear of the truth coming out. Things had changed, though. Maybe it was his own fault he had been forgotten. Once he had stopped fighting back, everyone had forgotten his exsitance. The occasional word or mean prank no longer had an affect on him. That's when he had become invisible. People forgot his name and teachers never bothered to speak to him in class. When he had stopped caring about everything, he had really just faded away. But Kiegan was making him remember this and he didn't like it.

“I’m not afraid of anything…” Nathaniel said in response to Kiegan’s next set of questions. “I don’t care if I’m wrong. I suppose I do have a lot of pride sometimes... Making mistakes? I stopped caring when people pointed out my mistakes. As I’ve been told, I myself am a mistake. If I were perfect, I wouldn’t have been standing in the rain all alone. This is who I am. You’re the one that seems to think I’m someone else. Do you not like the way I am? Do you wish I wasn’t this way? Admitting…my weaknesses? What is my weakness Tsugiru-san? You seem to be the expert here.”

It was a bit annoying to be lectured by this person. Nathaniel had never been bound by rules before. His parents had pretty much given him absolute freedom and he didn’t like the way this person was telling him what to do. On the other hand, he did like the way this person seemed to be trying to control him a little. He had never had someone do this sort of thing. Nathaniel leaned forward so that he was close to Kiegan. His mouth was next to the others ear and his breath was on the other’s bare skin as he whispered into the man’s ear.

“Do you wish to control me? Do you want me to submit to you? You’re going to have to try harder Kiegan because I don’t lose.”

[kiegan]

Kiegan flinched away from Nathaniel as if burnt. He gazed sadly at the boy, stung beyond belief by Nathaniel’s words. Nathaniel had hurt him, hurt him deeply with his sharp words hidden behind a gentle whisper. “It’s not about control.” He responded softly. “If it were about control I could more than easily subdue at least your body to my will. But if you insist on winning as you so call it…”

Kiegan got up, moving to his mess in order to rummage around in it. Finding what he had been searching for, he returned to Nathaniel, holding the object out towards Nathaniel. “Here. I am hurting you now aren’t I? I am saying you are inconsiderate. I say you are afraid of living, afraid of caring, afraid of loving. I’m saying you are selfish. Have I hurt you enough yet? Here take it.” Kiegan moved his hand closer to Nathaniel, bringing the object closer to the boy.

Lying in Kiegan’s hand was a small thin, elegantly carved dagger. Its quality was more than clear from the intricate patterns on its hilt. “Take it. Take it and cut me if you want. Why not hurt me? Hurt me like I hurt you. Hurt me back, cut me to the core, make me bleed. Will that make the pain I have inflicted upon you hurt any less? Will that make you feel more worthy of existence?” Kiegan knew he was playing with fire. He knew this would probably backfire horribly upon him, but he wanted Nathaniel to understand what he was talking about. He wanted the boy to know that hurting those who have hurt us did not bring happiness. It only brought guilt and bitterness and a broken soul. Revenge could never repair what had been torn apart.

[Deleted]

Subdue his body? Nathaniel didn’t like the way Kiegan had spoken to him. He wasn’t someone that was easily manipulated. He had made an exception with Kiegan and let the man in, but maybe he had been too hasty. This person was affecting him way too much and his words really did hurt. No one else had the power to hurt him anymore…except for Kiegan. Those words wanted to make him cry and scream. Winning meant he always got the last word. Winning meant he wouldn’t be hurt over anything and the other person could feel the pain instead. Arguments were always started over something nasty someone told him. He had never fought with someone over something trifle. If there was an argument, that meant someone was trying to hurt him. He had to protect himself the only way he knew how, lashing out at the other person. Nathaniel wasn’t one to start an argument over something stupid. Victory in such a thing would be meaningless. He only wanted victory if it meant he wouldn’t be hurt.

Nathaniel stared at the object in the man’s hand. He wasn’t sure what it was until Kiegan brought it closer. It was a dagger. At first, he was confused by this. Why would Kiegan give him a dagger? It seemed odd to give someone a weapon. When he realized what the man wanted him to do with it, he felt those tears threatening to fall. Kiegan really didn’t understand. He didn’t want to hurt Kiegan, so why was he making him do this? Why was he telling him such things? He didn’t want this at all. Nathaniel took the dagger, his neutral expression never wavering. He wanted to flinch at the other’s words, cry, scream, and run away, but he didn’t. He just took the dagger and ran it swiftly against his wrist. He let the object drop to the ground and watched as his blood trickled to the ground.

He knew revenge was never the answer, but it was the only thing he had as a defense. He had been broken long before and revenge had been the only thing keeping him from falling to pieces, but even that hadn’t been enough. He had shattered anyway. He had faded away. Nathaniel lowered his head, his eyes not meeting the others’. He had punished himself too. After he had made others feel bad, he had punished himself too. There were faint scars on his wrists. You had to look closely to see them, but they were there. He had stopped punishing himself when he had stopped hurting others, but the temptation had always been there. Today, it seems he had given in. It was fine, though. He needed to make up for making Kiegan feel bad anyway.

[kiegan]

Kiegan grabbed the boy’s wrist when Nathaniel cut himself. He was livid. Actually, beyond livid. The boy was a complete and utter idiot. Why did he still care about him so much. Care, when all the boy seemed determined to do, was hurt him, over and over again. He was starting to get the feeling that his little mate was going to quite literally be the death of him. “You are and IDIOT. A complete and utter MORON! Do you have NO respect for anyone? For me?! For yourself?! Must you insist on tearing me apart?!”

Kiegan roughly dropped Nathaniel’s arm moving to once again rummage around in his room, in search of a first aid kit. No matter how hard he tried, Nathaniel simply never understood. Never understood his heart and didn’t seem to want to. Having found what he had been looking for he once again snatched up Nathaniel’s arm, tending to the self inflicted injury. What Nathaniel had done had hurt Kiegan more than if Nathaniel had actually cut Kiegan. He wanted the boy to understand that his behavior was self destructive. However, it had backfired in a manner which he had not considered. In a manner he ‘should’ have considered, he told himself bitterly.

With trembling hands, he cleaned, sewed and bandaged the wound, making sure to keep his gaze fixed firmly on the wound itself, head bowed so that his long hair, which had now come loose, served to conceal his face and the myriad of tears that poured down it. His shoulders shook, with the effort he was exerting to hold in his anguished sobs. But he succeeded. Once the wound was patched, Kiegan wordlessly got up. Snatching the dagger up from the floor, not looking at what he was doing, he headed for the door, his blood now mingled with Nathaniel’s. Before leaving he paused. Returning to the room, he hastily swept everything he owned roughly into the closet, leaving blood smears all over the place. Locking it, he moved to the bathroom and removed anything that Nathaniel might be able to use to hurt himself with. He continued to keep his face hidden behind his self-made curtain of hair. Once satisfied, he threw all the medication, sharp, objects, glass objects and even material long enough to use, into a bag. He had even removed Nathaniel’s belongings. Taking the bag with him, he headed back towards the door “Do whatever you wish.” He said dully, walking out the door.

[Deleted]

Nathaniel did flinch when Kiegan had started yelling at him. He made no other movements, though. He wouldn’t let the other know how much his words really hurt. It wasn’t like other people hadn’t yelled at him before. In fact, he’d heard worse things. He didn’t see why Kiegan was making a big deal about this. He’s done this before. He wasn’t an idiot. He hadn’t even cut deep enough to do some real damage! What was the point over fussing what had been done? Panicking and yelling wasn’t going to change the fact he had cut himself. It was his body and he could do what he wanted with it. He wanted to go home. There, he could be alone and there was no one to yell at him. No one cared what he did and he was pretty much left alone. No one made him feel bad about anything when he was all alone. There were no hurtful words or rules. He was just…there.

He made no movements when Kiegan patched up his wrist. The other was good at this it seemed. He could have done it himself, though. He didn’t need anyone. He’d always been alone, so why should things he different now? Kiegan thought he knew it all. He understood just fine, it was Kiegan that didn’t understand anything. He hadn’t know what his life was like, he didn’t understand why he did the things he did. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe they couldn’t seem to understand each other… Still, that didn’t give Kiegan the right to act the way he did. He didn’t need parental supervision. He was capable of taking care of himself, though it seemed his mate thought otherwise.

Nathaniel wanted to scream when he saw Kiegan take his things and any other sharp thing he could find. It was a stupid thing to do. That wouldn’t really stop him from doing what he wanted. Kiegan didn’t own him. If he wanted to, he could go home. Kiegan had no say in anything when he was home. He wasn’t a child! He wouldn’t have started cutting himself! But…Kiegan had cried. He wasn’t sure why, but he was sure Kiegan had cried. It made him feel sad that Kiegan had cried. It was all…his fault. Nathaniel got up and ran into the bathroom. He shut the door, but didn’t even bother locking it. He turned on the faucet and sprinkled water on his face. He wiped his face with a towel and tried to calm himself down, though it wasn’t working. But…when he looked up again, he saw there was someone in front of him.

He’d seen this person before. It was the same person he saw every day when he looked into the horrible reflecting piece of glass. The person he hated the most. Why wouldn’t this person stop staring? Nathaniel felt a river of tears fall down his face as he cried. That boy was weak, alone, and sad. He hated that boy. If that person vanished, everything would be okay. Nathaniel pulled his arm back and then punched the mirror as hard as he could. Shards of glass flew everywhere. Some struck his cheek, but most were embedded in his knuckles. The teen’s legs gave out and he fell to the ground. He was crying and there was blood covering what was left of the mirror as well as the floor. His hand was a bloody mess and Kiegan’s clothes were forever stained with red.

[kiegan]

The sound of shattering glass, instantly brought Kiegan back. He had not gone very far to begin with, having sunk to the ground outside the hotel room. His eyes grew wide in horror, at the sight of Nathaniel. Would the boy not let up? Why was he so rash when it came to this boy’s actions? He had dealt with suicidal, depressed and hurt people before and never in his life had he managed to commit all the classic mistakes in such a short period of time. Usually, it was much easier to deal with, so why, if he had done this before, was this tearing him apart so, now. He was a nervous wreck. He no longer knew what to do. He longed for his parents calming presence. He sunk down to the floor, beside the boy, sobbing along with him.

“Stop doing this to yourself, to me, to us. Please stop doing this.” Kiegan pleaded softly, his voice torn and shattered. “My heart is breaking. Why can’t you just give me your pain? Why can’t you just stop being so… so… so afraid of living, of trusting, of love? Why?” Keigan scooped the boy into his lap, carefully proceeding to remove all the pieces of glass he could see, placing it in a small pile beside him. “I want you to be mine… forever… I want my mate back. I want the you, I know you keep hidden away from me, so badly it hurts.” Kiegan choked on his own tears.

Anger and helplessness coursed through him, making him reckless. His fist tightened momentarily on the large shard of glass he was holding, pain reminding him to release it. He continued to single mindedly tend to Nathaniel. Hysteria drove him to harsh humor. He giggled, his laughter more than obviously on edge. “At this rate, I’m going to run out of bandages.” He predicted, continuing the rest of the treatment in silence. His heart was shattered. That was to be truer than he knew… He did run out of bandages. Fortunately there had been enough for Nathaniel.

He was beginning to wonder if it would ever be whole again. How could he help his little mate when he himself was in so much turmoil? The distant echo of his little mate’s emotions did not help. By the time he had finished tending to the boy, he had managed to get over his hysteria somewhat. Holding the boy close, he padded back to the bedroom, placing the boy carefully onto the bed. Kissing him gently on the forehead, he wrapped a random shirt roughly around his own bleeding palm and headed back to clean the mess.

[Deleted]

Why was Kiegan so sad? Why was Kiegan lying on the floor sobbing with him? It all didn’t make sense. No one had ever cared about him or the things he’d done. This was a very different feeling. He wanted to thank him for caring, but he couldn’t stop crying. His hand didn’t hurt at all, even though most of it was bleeding. It was something inside that was hurting. Wounds of the heart were harder to heal, if they ever did at all. It seemed like Kiegan was having trouble with his emotions too. The man was a wreck and it seemed like he wanted to fix Nathaniel, but didn’t know how. Nathaniel appreciated the help, but he knew there was nothing his mate could do to make everything simply go away.

Nathaniel vaguely registered that he was in the other’s lap. He felt the pieces of glass being removed from his skin and placed into a pile. He heard Kiegan’s words, but couldn’t seem to find any way to reply to them. The other’s voice was thick with pain and sadness. Was it his fault Kiegan was that way? Had he been the cause of the other’s sadness? He wanted to stop…for Kiegan, but it was hard. He had stopped for a little while, but it seemed he had fallen back into old patterns. It hurt to remember things and his memories never seemed to let him be. They came back and made him feel those things again. That’s when he did the only thing that made it all better, he hurt himself. He’s find many different ways to do it, but he’s always make himself bleed. Was Kiegan right? Was he just scared? Why was it so hard to just be himself? Even if Kiegan knew him better than others, he still hadn’t completely shown the other who he was. He wanted to be safe always. But…if he let everyone know he who was…it’d be easier for them to hurt him…and he couldn’t have that…

It seems Kiegan was calmer now. He had placed him on the bed and gone back to cleaning. The other had been a bit frightening when he had been laughing. He had really hurt the other. He wanted to apologize, but he wasn’t sure how. He noticed the other was bleeding and it was all making him feel worse. This was all his fault and as much as he wanted to fix it, it seemed impossible. Nathaniel slipped out of bed. He didn’t make a sound as he walked towards Kiegan. He wrapped his thin arms around the other’s waist and let his cheek rest against the other’s back. He clutched the man’s shirt tightly and cried.

“Kiegan…” he whispered. “I…I’m sorry…”

[kiegan]

Kiegan tensed when he first felt Nathaniel’s touch. He had not been expecting it. However, as soon as he realized it was his little mate, he relaxed, leaning softly into Nathaniel’s warmth. “You should be in bed.” Kiegan stated softly, thickly. The boy had been through enough of an ordeal recently. He needed the rest.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I will be fine.” Kiegan actually felt that might be true now. He knew it had taken a lot for Nathaniel to come and apologize to him. It meant a hell of a lot to Kiegan. It actually meant the world to him. He suddenly turned, embracing the boy. He held him tightly close, inhaling his scent, memorizing it. He had thought he was going to lose his little mate even before he had managed to claim him. He had been so afraid of that when he had stepped into the bloodied bathroom and now he just simply wanted to savor the boy’s warmth. Hold it close and treasure it always.

A long moment later, he released the boy, swallowing his tears. He couldn’t afford to let Nathaniel see him cry again. The boy needed him to be string, and string he would be, even of he had to fight himself for it. “I’ll just finish cleaning up and then I will come sit with you.” Kiegan whispered softly.

[Deleted]

Saying you were sorry seemed like the hardest thing to do. Nathaniel had never apologized to anyone before. He had never really cared if he hurt someone’s feelings. He had only cared about his own feelings and ignored others’. It had taken a lot of courage to tell Kiegan he was sorry. He did mean it, which was what surprised him the most. He didn’t understand why this person’s feelings meant so much to him. This was all confusing… Life should come with a manual…like in video games. You should be allowed to reset, pause, and save. Of course, that would make life boring too… Still, sometimes life just wasn’t fair. Nathaniel felt Kiegan’s arms around him and he found himself at a loss at what to do. It felt…nice. He’d never had someone hold him this way before and he enjoyed it immensely. He wanted to pout when Kiegan pulled away, but Nathaniel never pouted.

He noticed the way Kiegan was holding back tears and he wished the man wouldn’t hold back like that. Nathaniel felt like the other wasn’t being honest by hiding his feelings, but then again, he did the same thing all the time. He supposed he was being a hypocrite, but it was hard for Nathaniel to express himself. He usually just bottled things up… It wasn’t healthy when he thought about it, but he couldn’t help it. Nathaniel gave the other a slight nod when he told him he was going to clean up. Nathaniel knew the bathroom was a mess. The walls were splattered with blood and pieces of glass could be found on the floor. He wanted to help, but he didn’t want to go back in there. The mirror was in there…

Nathaniel walked back towards the bed. He pulled the covers over his head and curled up under them. He closed his eyes tightly and pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He wasn’t cold or anything and it was a bit difficult to breath, but he wasn’t coming out no matter what. He didn’t want Kiegan to ask about the whole thing, but he knew the other would. He wouldn’t lie, though. He wouldn’t lie to Kiegan. No matter what he asked…

[kiegan]

Kiegan swallowed again, watching the small figure of his little mate move away. Sighing softly he resigned himself to cleaning the mess, hissing softly whenever he aggravated his own wound. It took him a real long time to successfully clean the bathroom. He had to be careful to do it properly and knew he would have to pay to replace the mirror. Placing the last shards of glass into the bin, he tossed the shirt that had been wrapped around his palm after. He gazed at the cuts on his palm, growling in frustration. He had the instinctual animal urge to just transform and lick the wounds clean so that they could heal faster. He didn’t even have any medication left, having used up the last of his supplies on Nathaniel. Whimpering softly he shoved his hand under the faucet, resorting to the use of soap to clean the wound. His rough scrubbing had reopened it. Giving a small stifled snarl of frustration, Kiegan closed the tap, ruining another shirt, as he used it to stem the renewed flow.

Satisfied that he had done all he could to treat the wound; he padded back into the bedroom, pausing to gaze at the bundle that represented Nathaniel on the bed. He gave a small wry smile. His little mate was so vulnerable. He had vowed to do anything to protect his little mate and what had he done? He had failed where it counted. His little mate was now wounded, curled up in misery upon the bed. Kiegan chewed on his lip thoughtfully, wondering what he could do. He was afraid to worsen the situation and felt utterly hopeless that he could do nothing to better it. So… he worried at his lip till it was red and raw.

Suddenly he was decided. He didn’t know if this would backfire, or cause more trouble, but it was the thing he yearned the most to do. He padded silently over to the bed, pausing momentarily before deciding to ignore his own uncertainty and just go ahead with it. He crawled onto the bed, moving to curl himself against the bundle that he knew to be his mate. If Nathaniel had been watching, he would have seen remarkable cat like movements as Kiegan rubbed his face against the bundle, turned and settled down in a little ball, his back firmly against Nathaniel’s warmth. Kiegan did not say a word. He was actually quite contact in close proximity to his mate. A small satisfied rumble escaped him, stifled hastily.

[Deleted]

Nathaniel felt Kiegan lay down next to him. He knew the other was probably tired. After all, he had caused a lot of trouble for Kiegan. He had trashed the guy’s bathroom, used up all of the man’s bandages, and even made him cry. He wished he hadn’t caused so much trouble. That was the last thing he had wanted to do. It seemed like he all he ever did was burden people. That was why…he had wanted to just disappear. Things seemed like they’d get better if he wasn’t around. All people ever did was complain about him. When he didn’t speak and pretended he didn’t exist, no one bothered him or noticed he was there. It was so much better than being yelled at or hurt. Kiegan didn’t see it this way, though. Kiegan wanted to see him and find out who he really was, despite his obvious flaws. He didn’t know why, though. There were much better people in the world. He was in no way special, so why did Kiegan

“Why…do you like me so much…?” Nathaniel asked, his voice a bit muffled by the blankets.

He noted that the clothes he wore were now torn and bloodied. He knew they would have to be thrown out. They were beyond repair. He hoped Kiegan wasn’t too mad about them. The boy took a deep breath and pulled back the covers so that his face was visible. To be honest, it had become difficult to breathe in there and it was hard to stay in that position. His eyes were looking down and never met Kiegan’s. It was a question he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to.

“Anyone else would have dumped me at some insane asylum or something…” he mumbled. “Why…do you want to be around me so badly…?”

He wasn’t pretty or beautiful, Nathaniel knew this. He wasn’t the best at anything and he was full of problems and had low self-esteem. He caused nothing but trouble and only seemed to hurt people’s feelings. He wasn’t worth it, so why? Those same fears keep coming back. He still seemed to think Kiegan wanted something from him. Everyone did… It was hard to be trusting and now that Kiegan knew some of weaknesses, the other could easily hurt him. It was scary to think about how easily the other male could hurt him, both emotionally and physically. But…something else told him Kiegan wouldn’t hurt him. Conflicting emotions inside of him made Nathaniel very confused.

[kiegan]

Kiegan blinked blearily, his mind already half asleep now that he had found some comfort. He frowned at the absurdity of Nathaniel’s question. “Because I love you.” Kiegan murmured sleepily, his eyes filled with peaceful sleepiness as he gazed at Nathaniel. He smiled at the sight of the boy peeking out of the blankets, giving a low disappointed growl at the fact that the boy had moved and dislodged him from him comfortable position.

Kiegan was a lazy kitty. He loved to curl up happily in a comfortable spot and doze. At the moment, there was no better place than plastered to his mate. His mind already half asleep, Kiegan let his feral instincts take over. Moving lithely, he stretched to crawl further up the bed, once again moving remarkably like a cat. Once he reached Nathaniel’s face, he promptly spun around, making the spot comfortable for himself, before settling in, once again plastered against Nathaniel. “Go to sleep.” He murmured on a happy deep purr, twisting a little to shift himself closer towards the boy. He closed his eyes, his breath slowly calming. He was exhausted. He hadn’t gotten any real sleep since meeting his little mate and all that running around was finally taking its toll.

(He's being ridiculously cute... darn)