Butterfly (Open Thread)

[annon]

Annon sighed. “Your parents seem to be fortunate. Extremely fortunate. My parents were miserable together. My father really hurt my mother and doesn’t even seem to care. No one can ever live up to his standard. If he knew what I was hiding…” Annon hung his head and cut his sentence short before adding in a whisper. “If you knew what I was hiding…”

Annon suddenly stood up pushing past Rana and heading for a door that seemed to lead to an exit. All of a sudden he wanted to leave, to run, to flee. He wanted space. Wanted to get away from this stranger that seemed to have barged into his life, taking control of both it and his very soul. Why did he care what the stranger thought of him so much? Why did it matter? Why did it matter so much that he was inadequate? He had learned to ignore the fact over the years, doing what was expected with occasional hidden moments of rebellion.

He needed those moments, okay? He knew they were wrong but he needed them to feel sane, to feel like he was actually a person and not some emotionless tool to be used as his father wished. Yes, he knew that was what he was but at least he could pretend sometimes that who he was actually mattered. He wanted to go to a club, he wanted to drink, dance and lose himself. To pretend… Reaching out, he turned the handle and pulled the door open.

[Rana Mau Abyssin]

"Everyone has things to hide, mau. Your father was a bastard, mau. He didn't treat you like you deserve, mau. You aren't a mannequin. You have emotions, mau, and thoughts of your own, mau. You don't have to hold them back, mau. YOu should be able to express yourself, mau."

[annon]

"Things to hide?" Annon gave a derisive chuckle staring out at the strange environment that met his gaze. "What happened to honesty and trust when building a relationship? What happened to sharing everything with your partner. I knew all of the was a myth but you rather struck me as the type of person who would believe in things like that." He pointedly ignored the rest of Rana's comment, not sure how to deal with it.

[Rana Mau Abyssin]

Rana shrugged. "With time, yes, but we have just met, mau. I don't expect to reach that stage, mau, until at least 5 years together, mau. If not more, mau. Even then, mau, having something to hide isn't a crime. Expressing yourself isn't a crime, mau." He approached his prospective mate, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You've been repressed, mau. You've been controlled. It's time to let go and be yourself."

[annon]

Annon faced Rana in disbelief. How could Rana be ready to give up his whole life to Annon when he knew nothing about him? Annon could see that Rana seemed to be rather serious. Fine, if that was the way that Rana was going to be then Annon was going to show him his rebellious side. The side of himself he used in order to unwind and get away from his fathers strict rules and expectations. He was going to drive Rana away. No one deserved to be linked to a flawed person, especially not knowing what they were getting into. Annon cocked his head to the side, gazing at Rana. "Can we go clubbing then?"

[Rana Mau Abyssin]

Rana grinned. "I'd love to, mau. I want to show you off, mau. Ill have to beat other people off with a stick,mau, though." He looked a bit worried at that, then purred. "We'll have to get changed, mau." He nuzzled Annon's throat. "You are mine, mau. I won't let anyone try and take you away, mau."

[annon]

Annon’s eyebrow shot up in surprise with Rana’s acceptance. Well, that had been fairly simple. He nodded, understanding that Rana might want to change. He was already dressed for clubbing, that was, after all, where he had been headed when he bumped into Rana. Wordlessly he walked back into the room and seated himself, intending to wait for Rana. His mind raced, thinking of ways he could prove what a bad person he really was to Rana. True, it would require doing a few things he had only done out of sheer desperation, depression and need for attention but if it protected Rana from making the biggest mistake of his life, so be it.

Annon had no idea why he cared so much. Why did it matter to him that he show Rana how unworthy of the others attention he really was? Why did a hidden part of him ache at what he was planning? Why did he want to keep Rana close? Growling in sudden frustration at the route his thoughts had taken, Annon suddenly ripped the arc shaped object off his ear tossing it across the room.

The reality of the world around him died. There was no other way to describe what happened. Annon had forcibly reminded himself of the extent to which their worlds differed, in a manner that would not allow him to forget. Annon’s gaze sharpened, carefully studying everything that occurred around him., head in constant motion, mind racing to make connections.

[Rana Mau Abyssin]

He took a while choosing what he was going to wear. He wanted Annon's eyes to stay on him and only on him

Rana came back. He was dressed in leather pants that showed off his legs nicely and a tight T-shirt. he flexed the muscles in his arms a bit, trying to impress Annon. "Is this good enough, mau?" His hair was messy, but it made him look as if he had just crawled out of someone's bed. The heat in his eyes as he watched Annon added to this impression.

Hefrowned, seeing his future mate in a strange state. "Are you ok, mau?" he asked, very worried. He spotted the thrown object, picking it up. He walked over to the other, pulling him close and giving him a kiss. "Mau?"

[annon]

Annon’s gaze brushed over Rana when Rana walked out; only registering the fact that it was Rana and nothing more, nervously darting around the room to register everything else. Annon tensed at the sudden contact when Rana pulled him into his arms.

Irritated with himself for acting like a skittish animal out of his element, Annon clenched his eyes tightly shut and took a deep breath to calm himself. It didn’t do much good but when he opened his eyes, Annon pulled out of Rana’s arms and fixed his gaze on Rana. Staring at him, not because of what he wore but because Rana would be his point of stability for a little while.

“We going?” He enquired, his words slow and carefully formed.

[Rana Mau Abyssin]

Rana nodded. He gathered Annon in his arms, then kissed the boy. "What's wrong, mau?" he asked gently. "you look upset, mau." He rocked the boy in his arms, trying to comfort him. "It's a nice club, mau, but I want you to stay close, mau. I don't want anyone stealing you away, mau. You're my pretty mate and I want to keep you, mau."

[annon]

Muffled words, distorted an unrecognisable. Mixed sound that held neither meaning nor distinction. He knew Rana was talking to him but couldn’t see, couldn’t understand. Annon let Rana hold him, waiting for Rana to finish and let go so that they could leave already. He knew Rana was trying to comfort him but the motion was only increasing his disorientation and he wanted Rana to stop. He wanted his world to stop moving so he could pause and take it in. “Please… stop.” He whispered, hands clenched in Rana’s clothes.

[Rana Mau Abyssin]

"Stop? You're sick, mau," he said, looking worried. "You need assistance, mau." He looked quite worried. "Come, mau, let's have Nadira check you, mau..." He led Annon to a little room, an alcove, really. A blue light came on. Nadira was scanning him to determine what was wrong.

[annon]

Annon’s eyes widened in panic. He didn’t like the alcove, nor the blue light. His breath was coming in panicked pants. He shoved at Rana with all his force, pushing Rana away from himself, getting up and storming out before Rana could even have a chance to react. Once out, he leant against the wall, closing his eyes and losing himself in the darkness, ignoring all the distorted sound coming from his environment. He wanted to go home. He was desperate to just go back to his own apartment, where no one knew his secrets and curl up in bed.

[Rana Mau Abyssin]

Rana finally did react, once Nadira gave him some results. He crawled towards Annon, belly against the ground, purring gently. He took Annon into his arms. "Listen to me. Just listen to me. Hear only me," he said. "I can help you. Make your brain better." He nuzzled Annon, then kissed him. "Come. Love." His strange verbal tick seemed to have disappeared as he soothed Annon, using every trick he knew to be the only thing Annon could see and hear.

[annon]

Annon jerked in surprise at the warmth of Rana, once again around him. He should have expected that. He kept his eyes closed, too tired to deal with this at the moment. He'd calmed his breath, already accustomed to the muffled, distorted, almost non-existent sound. In actual fact, he'd now moved on to silently reprimanding himself for panicking. True, he had not gone without sound for a long time... not unless he was alone in his own apartment that is. Also true that he was in an unfamiliar environment but he should not have over reacted the way he had. Being unable to hear what went on around him was not the end of the world...