lament of loneliness and love (OPEN THREAD)

[firimar]

Firimar loved to sing, his voice, his only instrument for his emotions, his heartache, loneliness and confusion as to why others excluded him to be set free and soothed. He breathed in deeply before singing another note, softly in sweet slightly deep voice. Some people complimented him on his singing, however there were some people who didn’t think he could do anything right. Firimar suddenly felt a heavy object hit him on the head, causing to grab his head in agony, squinting his eyes in pain, Firimar turned, not all too surprised to see his grandfather brandishing that very familiar wooden paddle, standing tall above him, though in reality he was actually shorter than Firimar at 5’4.

“grandfather! What….” he began before his grandfather whacked him on the head with the paddle again, except this time less severely.

“You useless twit, wasting your time singing disgusting songs about who knows what!” his grandfather yelled, spitting in Firimar’s face, he had to resist very ardently to not wipe his face. Firimar’s multi-coloured eyes narrowed.

“And what, oh cherished grandfather of mine, is so disgusting about singing?” Firimar asked, only to earn himself another strike of the paddle, only this time across the face. Firimar bit into his mouth hard, making firimar taste his blood, determined not to cry out, knowing it would only anger that twisted old man further.

“Everything is disgusting about it, that filthy Reyls used that filthy voice of his to enchant my poor son and ……” the old man trailed off. Firimar began to feel tears in his eyes but held them, back, both his fathers were dead, nobody knew how they died but still his grandfather blamed the Reyls Vargan, thus Firimar was a constant reminder to him and hated him with a passion. Firimar stood up straight again and towered over his grandfather who looked slightly sheepish now, apparently he had forgotten how big Firimar was.

“Um, um I, I don’t what to hear you singing anywhere in this house do, do you hear me, you should be grateful to me for taking in the bastard of a Reyls even at the cost of my reputation, no one else would accept you, you know, you shouldn’t do anything to disrupt the harmony of this household” he finally said, staring into Firimar’s eyes one was green like his son’s and the other was a bright violet colour.
(Singing is disruptive, but yelling insulting and hitting isn’t?) Firimar though to himself bitterly,

“Very well Grandfather as you wish, and don’t worry I never forget how generous you are and how repulsive I am, you generously remind me of the fact every single day!” Firimar proclaimed hi stormed out of his room and out the house. Firimar tried hard to think of a place where he could sing, and thought of a lovely little forest, not more than a mile out, surely there would be no one to find him repulsive. And he set out.

The sight of white, brown, and red bark, green, and orange leaves filled Firimar with unparalleled delight, the previous unpleasant events seemed to be washed away as the sunlight poking through the leaves rained on Firimar’s smiling face. The green leaves on the tree branches seemed to be shining and even more defined in the sunlight. Firimar lifter his hand to green eye tentatively, a wave of sadness dispelling his moment of peace.

“Whenever people see me its is obvious that the blood of the Reyls tribe runs through my veins, and it repels them, the scandal that brought about my existence hangs on me like a dark shroud, I have two mismatched eyes with no partner, does this mean I, also am unmatchable?”


Firimar closed his eyes and began to sing again, this time singing a song that was constantly in his heart, the sorrowful ballad to the mate he might perhaps never meet. In the small wooded area, Firimar admonished himself, that no one would hear his singing, that his lament of love was foolish, wasted and hopeless, but still, he kept singing, the sound of his voice drowning out the sound of approaching footsteps.........

[pain]

pain love that way the trees looked at he walked in the woods. he started to walk around as his hair blow him his face almost falling on a rock. he look down and kicked that rock far as he started to walk again as he lean on a tree thinking of his life. the way his dad beat on him and they resson why he ran to be free. he sighed as he grabed tightly onto his chest. he listened to the birds ads looked around. heared a small voice singging it was so good he had to met the person that was snging. he walked slowly as he heared the song louder and louder he thought to himself/ 'wow thw words are so sad. he or she musy be in alot of pain.; he smiled as he thought of his nickname "pain" he sai to him. himself as he pokes his head out seeing a guy. he looked away blushing. 'hes so cute and with a nice voice' he thought to himself as he thought about walking over and saying up. hopeing it a reyls. he walked up to the guy. "well why you here all alone?" he gave him a soft smile.

[firimar]

Startled he whizzed around, his face bright red, embarrassed that someone had heard him sing. When he saw who had heard he began blushing into an even deeper shade of red for an entirely different reason. This man was to put it lightly- beautiful. The stranger stood a little shorter than him but no less striking, just looking at the amethyst hair and sapphire eyes a thousand songs were inspired within him.
But what struck him most about this stranger were his eyes though exquisite they looked so achingly lonely and sad. By just looking at those eyes firimar felt the pain shoot through his chest, aching for this beautiful strangers pain.
Firimar was shook out of his daze when the man asked him a question and his voice, by zerca! It had deep rough lilt that seemed to mean nothing but good intentions.
“well why you here all alone?"
Realising he had not answered, firimar found his voice and spoke to the stranger deciding to give a frank and honest answer
“ It is better to be alone by choice than to be surrounded by people who make you feel outcasted” the stranger looked a bit surprised at firimars answer but at the same time there was a flicker of understanding in his eyes. Gathering up his courage firimar stared straight into the mans eyes and asked
“My name is firmar who are you?”

[pain]

pain walked over to a rock and sat on it. smiling that the man. "well that true. i feel your pain." he smiled and looked down "name is pain" smiled agoing lookinf but at the man again. "you have a great voice. i love music. that song was filled woth sad. am i wrong?" he smiled and playing wih the rock as his feet, he lost train of thought again as he looked at the man. he was so hansome. he just wanted to hold hinm close. but he just met him and that would be odd. at the thought he giggled and looked down blushing feeling his face redden and get warm.

(sorry i'm so bad at this)

[firimar]

(don't worry you're very good )
Firimar couldn't help but smile at the strangers blushing face, well not stranger anymore, this beautiful vision before him wearing skin tight trousers,
(how did i miss those!) firimar thought,
had a name
"pain" he whispered softly, firimar couldn't help but wonder how such a magnificent creature got such a depressing name. Pain smiled again at firimar, making his heart beat so loudly hes swore the other would be able to hear it. This feeling in his chest was overwhelming with feelings sos trong that firimar had no name for them. Finally firimar managed to get out
"where did you come from?" firimar adonished himself fr asking such a lame question
(Good way to flirt you idiot) firimar thought sarcastically

[pain]

pain smiled and looked around. rasing his arms. "a small town, but that not he matter thats my deep past," he sighed and looked down as he bit it lip holding in the pain that he s feeling. he ndidn't wanto make the man run away, for a off reson he can say no to the man he needed to make him happy. even if it hurts pain. he gilled as he puled his pants down more giving him space for other things. "and for where i live." rases his arms up "i live everywhere, i'm the wind i go where i please." he looked at the man and nodded. "my dad use to beat on me b/c i didn't want to obey this one guy. i have a will" he stoped as he looked away. and he didn't want people to know what he was feeling.

[firimar]

He didn't understand why but firimar's heart broke when pain told him a bit of his past. Firimar was fighting back his tears when he remembered his own grandfather beating him for looking like his life giver just as pain father beat him for having free will. Tentatively firimar reached out ad grasped the amethyst haired man chin and made his head turn to face him. Startled blue eyes widened when they saw the tears running down firimars face. Firimar couldn't stop the sorrow for this beautifuls mans life was too much to bear.
"I understand, my grandfather beats me simply because my father was a reyls" Firimar felt no fear in telling this man his most precious secret. He felt so safe, so warm and protected near this man and the urge to protect and make hi happy welled up inside him.
"I admire you for being so strong i wish i had your strong heart i wish i was free like you" firimar said nearly gasping through hs tears. Firimar felt it was so right when pain locked eyes with him, reached out his hand, bending closer to wipe firmars tears away. Firimar suddenly felt very hot in is chest when he realised just how close their face were, just a couple more inches and they would be able to kiss.
(Firimar you pathetic fool) said a voice in his head that sounded like his grandafther's
(who on zerca would kiss a half reyls bastard)

[pain]

pain body being to grow weak and happy as the man face was so close he felt this feeling inside of him and he liked it, pain wanted to feel more of it. pain wraped hs arms arounf the other man and smiled as he lean in and gave a small man a peck on the lips. a tear as slips down his face. he moved his hand as he could to stop the tear from fall down his face. pain face being to grow deep red as he lean away from the kiss. "i'm sorry. so sorry for doing that." he said as he place his hand on the man knee and nodded. "for a odd resson i can trust you. that is rare for me." he esaid as he smiled again at the man.

[firimar]

Firimars heart was now beating a mile a minute, though that kiss was short it was heavenly, divine, the soft feel of those lips felt so right and it gave firimar a sense of terrible sweet despair when pain pulled away. the ache worsened when pain apologised. Heat started to pool between his legs when he realised that Pain's hand was on his knee. By Zerca he wanted this man. He needed to feel closer to him, past the barrier skin, to his soul. His heart sang when he was told that pain trusted him
"then please trust me when i say that you have nothing to feel sorry for" Firimar cired out desperately gently grasping Pains hand in his
"I trust you too for some reason and believe me it doesn't happen so often, a for the kiss i liked it, really actually....." firimar paused blushing, pain gave him an imploring look. Firimar met his eyes again
"Would it be alright if i kissed you?" firimar asked terrified that pain would refuse

[pain]

pain blushas he crawled on the man lap as he places his lips on the other again as pain wraped his arms arounf his smiling. he had never ben thid close to a person. his body being to heat up as he felt something growing inside of him. he wantd to feel it all he way. 'wha...whats going on.... I....' he toought to himsself as he smiled in the kiss. grabig ontop theback of the mans shirt tight as they kissed. his lips so soft so sweet. he wanted to how him want love can be like wanted to feel every inch of the man. as he tought of that he blushed, tryin to stop the borner from coming. 'how can he just feel this feeling already i just met him.' he thought to himself again

[firimar]

Firimar couldn't believe what was happening, they were both clinging to eachother lik the other was their life line. Each kiss and carress was met with equal fervor and passion. He felt himelf grow hard and he felt pain's hardness pratically digging into him, this scared him slightly but thrilled all at the same time, as if this was he was waiting for his whole life. Though firimar loved the kissing he was begining to feel a little faint, and tthought he might black out from the passion. With much strength of will, he tore himself from pains sweet lips. Both men staring eachother in the eyes, emerald and violet met cerulean. Each man sat their still locked in an embrace panting.
"I'm sorry i just thought it be best to come up for oxygen, it is kinda vital to breathe" Firimar joked earning himself a beautiful smile from pain. The two men lay on the soft grass carressing and holding one another. A strange joy and peace filled firimar that he had never known before since this emotion was alien to him the only way he could think of expressing it was through song.
" You said you like my singing would you like me to sing for you now" he all but whispered in pain's ear who nodded, threading his worldly worn hands through firimars hair
"What would you like me to sing?" firimar asked

[pain]

pain smiled and looked at the man and wraping sitting up. "sing your feeling, i want to feel what yuo are feeling." pain said as he look at the man and smiled. 'hes feeling can't get to me i'm too happy just being with him' he thought to him and giggled as he place both hands on his mouth. he didn't want to giggle. that was to girly to even think of. eh sat there laffing holding onto his leg. "ya i want to hear your feelings" he said as he places a hand on the man chest and smiled. he looked away again the feeling it freking him out he has ever felt this befor he wanted to feel the mans body to bad. but they just met, that would make him a slut and he doesnt want to known as that. he tryed not to think about that, but it still ran in his mind, wating to run his lips over his body, 'gahhhhh i can't stop. i cn't control myself.' he yelled at himslef in his head so firimar woundnt hear it. he thought to himeslf again and again trying to understand why he is thinking about him so much.

<<i hopw this is good. ^.^ i'm in a great mood so i went on and on. LOL>>

[firimar]

Firimars eyes widened when he heard that almost girlish giigle, it was so cute, firimar had to resist the urge to grin. Firimar sat up staring down at pain, who was lying down on the grass, his violet hair flared out as if he were underwater. (wants to feel my feelings i'm not sure i know a song that.... wait there is one) There was only one song that firimar knew thta couldn truly express his desire and budding affection for this beautiful pain soul. A song he remembered hearing when he was a kit, the song his Life giver Vargan the reyls used to woo his life bearer Jasyd. He couldn't remember their faces but that song, that song was forever embedded within his memory. he never thought a day would come he would sing such a precious song to someone else. But looking at Pain's face there was a great power within him telling him that this song was meant for pain

[firimar]

(Please note-translated from Zercan so may not rhyme in english)
" Under the golden sun in the valley of despair
I sat there a lonely wanderer,
desolate and alone
My heart cried out for warmth,
my soul yearned for love,
My body ached to be touched
Lonely for you sweet kisses
as i whisper sweetly in you ear
Always i am near but forever out of reach
Oh cruel mirage pity me
As i lay sleeping in the cold embrace of night
with only the stars and darkness to carress my body
there was afire in my heart when i heard you laugh
my soul was set free when you smiled,
Though the fates may cruel
and i can never touch you or have
Please Know my heart is yours only
feel your heart beat wildly within you chest
because i am there inside you
within you, beating strongly
This lonely wanderer in the valley of depair has found the golden sun
in your love "
Firimar stopped his eyes close to tears, having not sung that song in years, he found pain staring at him and anticipated his reaction, fearing he had scared him off

[pain]

with that pain puled that man in his arms, holdinh him tight, that song was os sad he wanted ti show firimar how much he liked him. he willl protect him from anything. pain whated him to smile and laff again. "that song was so sad, why do you feel so down? you hae one life behappy" pain said smiling as he kissed him again this tight holding him close


(short and sweet, sorry)