Itami wa Wasurette (ShoxDes)

[Sho Taru]

"You find true love anywhere Des," he murmured. "The best places are in the worlds of dark, because there's always some poor soul out there looking for someone. You just happened to find him. I was looking and i've finally found what's been darting out of my grasp all this time...." The others glare was like fire and he merely stared back, trying to decide what was going to be done. "I will take responsibility," he assured him, " I will take care of you Desmond......that's why you can't walk away. Something in you must need me as much as I need you...."

Sho knew how far apart they were, had been intent on helping the boy up. His body crackled with awareness of being near the one he wanted to claim and he stared at the boy, his warm breath caressing a cheek. Before he knew it Des' lips were brushing so softly over his, sending shudders through him. It was innocent, beautiful, and let him taste Des as the boy was. He was trully innocent and that made Sho happy. When the boy deepened it he lifted a hand, circling the back of a small neck, holding him there. Des was pushign him back. He sprawled on the floor, groaning and tried to breath-in vain. Des never let up on the passionate kiss, and he never let his grip go. "What do you want Des? I don't want to hurt you nor go against what you want. i want you in my life, forever but i'll take it slow if need be. We don't have to do anything until you feel you're ready..." His sapphire eyes stared up at the other, studying him.

[desmond]

Why was this so hard? He should be able to brush anyone aside and walk away, but this was too hard. They were so close right now. He was above the other and they were so close, but he wished he could be closer. It was an odd desire to have since he wasn’t supposed to be feeling anything, but he couldn’t help it. This man was so stupid. He was so damn optimistic and sweet. Maybe if he’d been a jerk, it would have been easier to hate him. It wasn’t fair that the other was so cute and loveable! He wanted to tell the other they didn’t share a bond and that he’d be fine without him, but that was a lie. He could feel a connected and while he wasn’t sure it was good, he didn’t know if it was bad either. They were bound together by something unseen and he knew they were supposed to be together. It was probably true that they were mates. Des wasn’t sure how this had happened, but it had. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t supposed to feel anything. After all, he had been sure there was no such thing as love. What was love anyway? How could what he was feeling right now be love? He was so confused. This feeling…was new…but… It hurt. Somehow, the feeling inside him hurt and felt good at the same time. It was an erratic and unpredictable emotion he had inside of him. He couldn’t help but feel a little scared. He wasn’t used to this at all and he wanted the pounding of his heart to stop.

“You say such fucking crap,” grumbled the boy. “It’s like you came out of a novel. The things you say….ugh… You really don’t live in the real world because you act as though everything in the world is fine and dandy. I’m not the person you’re looking for! Take a good look at me because I’m only going to say this once, we are NOT mates. T-There’s not way… I’m just…not feeling well…that’s why I can’t move… I’m not the type of person that gets into relationships, okay?! T-This…this is crazy! I-I don’t want to listen to you anymore! You’re just…confusing me… I’m an incubus! We don’t fall in love with people, we just sleep around! We’re a cheap fuck and everyone knows it! Why are you setting your hopes up for this?! I can’t give you anything! Just leave me alone!”

He got off the other and backed away a little. If he denied these things, maybe his words would come true and the other would leave him alone. It was scary to think about how he could easily be affected by another person. He didn’t like it at all. Des’ back was to the wall now and he slid to the floor with a slight thump. He was holding his head and trying to stop himself from crying. It was a rather difficult thing to do in this sort of situation, but he couldn’t help it. He’d never had to deal with something like this before and it scared him to think about what was coming next. He wasn’t stupid and even though he was inexperienced, he could feel that the other was his mate. He didn’t want that at all, though. He had wanted to end up dying alone. Things were safe and secure that way, but perhaps it wouldn’t work like that. Then again, you never really got to chose when it came to life. Things were just thrown at you and you had to hope for the best. Sink or swim. He had a choice to make now. He could continue to deny this and he forever miserable, of he could take a risk and try something that could very well break him. It was so hard to choice what he should do since his mind and heart were furiously debating each other.

“You’re such a dumbass,” he laughed darkly. “You believe in such silly things. Then again, you’re a silly person…such a silly person… Why are you doing this to me? Why are you…insisting on this? Let me go. Whatever it is you’re doing, make it stop because I don’t’ like it… I don’t like it at all… It was fine before. I was fine…just…fine…”

[Sho Taru]

"Oh yes, you really seem fine," he muttered darkly, standing, the feeling of Des' lips on his tingling across the pink flesh. "Do you really want to become like all of the other mindless Incubi out there? You want to give yourself up like a whore? Fine, you say we're not mates, that's just fine. I don't believe you. You feel everything just as deeply as me but you're going to run away from it aren't you? Because you're too afraid of society. Well I could give less than a damn. Society means nothing when you find your mate, you should know that. We're not the ignorant people of Earth." His eyes snapped liquid blue fire and he shifted, moving to his bedroom.

He turned and came back, pacing across his floor boards, chewing angrily on his thumb nail. He shouldn't be angry. The words weren't all that self depricating but they had hurt, just a little. Just enough to anger the vampire in him. What a thing to wake up to. Things had been going fine until he mentioned he was an art teacher. And Des was his student. Zerca, how had that come about? Fate really was a bitch. He barely glanced at the boy against the wall, only continued walking out his anger. "Fine, you don't believe me. That works...it all works. I'm just your fool of a teacher am I not? Then get up and walk away, go-do it! I know you can't because I....I can't let you...." He sighed and dropped down on the ground across from him, chin in his palm, his elbow resting on his knee.

[desmond]

“Just…what the hell do you know?!” Snapped the boy. “What I do with my life is none of your business, so stay out of it! It’s not like it has anything to do with you! What makes you think you know me?! What makes you think you can say things like that and I’ll be alright with it?! Just who the hell do you think you are?! This isn’t about what you think it is! What would you know?! You just make accusations and assumptions! Bastard! You’re the one that doesn’t know anything so don’t act like you do! I don’t need anything from you and we can’t be mates! You’re lying! Prove it so me! Prove that to me because I can’t believe you!”

This person made him angry. This person warned his heart and made his blood boil. It was an odd combination he supposed, but he wasn’t sure what to do about it. It seemed like Sho thought he had everything figured out. The other pretended that he knew everything when he really didn’t. It wasn’t like he could get inside Des’ head or anything. The other didn’t know how he felt or what he was thinking about. Even so, the other acted as though he knew what sorts of things Des had gone through. This person thought he knew him when it was really just lie. This person had just met him and it was unfair for the other to act as though they knew each other. Sho hadn’t even asked what was really wrong. What he was feeling. This person was getting to involved and confused Des. The other said things that made him think about things he’d rather not. It wasn’t very fair that the other could do something like that to him. Des didn’t like it one bit. He wished the other would just stop messing with him like this. He wished the other would stop hurting him because he really did hurt in the inside. He didn’t want the other to know, but he was hurting now.

“It’s… Shut up!” Yelled the boy. “I won’t listen to you anymore, so just be quiet! I can leave if I want! You can’t stop me because I don’t belong to you or anything! If I were to leave, you’d never see me again! Right now, there’s nothing stopping me from walking away and leaving you here!”

It wasn’t that the other was his teacher. Though that would cause problems, that wasn’t it at all. It was that the other was making him feel such odd things. Deep inside his chest, he was hurting. Even though he wanted to make it stop, he couldn’t help but hurt. Deep inside the thought of leaving was making it hard to breathe, but he glared at the other anyway and tried not to show his weakness. Even if he had to be all alone, it was better than letting this person tear him apart. He couldn’t let something like that happen. Even if he was sad and lonely, he knew his heart would be safe. Des had never been able to let people in and it was hard to start now. He didn’t think he could do something like that so easily. Even though others did it so casually and loved many people, Des didn’t think he could do that. He could only love one person at a time and he was trying to stop that from happening. He didn’t want to love anyone. He didn’t have anything to offer anyone. Even though he had worked hard to become a good person, he knew he couldn’t offer anyone anything. Maybe that’s why he had given up on trying to become a good person. Maybe it was better this way. When he let himself give up on everything, he didn’t have hopes or dreams for anything. Things were certainly easier this way. Maybe he’d just let things stay this way or maybe he’d let himself sink ever deeper into this void he had created. Who knows what he’d end up doing, but one thing des was certain of, he had to protect his heart extra carefully now because there was someone after it.

[Sho Taru]

Prove it to him? Prove that they were mates? He didn't know how to do that beyond touching. The electricity that shot through him at every second he touched Des was proof enough-or so he thought. The boys words stopped him in his tracks before he had a chance to push himself up and prove it. They were so harsh, not something he would expect from his mate. It hurt him inside and he hissed to himself, curling up. Fine.....if that's how it would be...fine.....He'd try to court Des properly, or maybe he'd just give up. The pain hurt so bad, but he wanted to prove that he could feel...that he could find his mate and not be so useless. He'd been called useless all his life and now Des was telling him he was crazy-didn't know what he was talking about.

Finally he stood and rubbed a hand through his hair. "Fine, i'll shut up now. If you think you can, if you find that you don't think you're my mate, then get up and walk away. Don't bother coming to lessons because I won't be here. My sole purpose to even coming back here was to find my mate....and now that I have and he doesn't want me, what use is there to see eachother again?" He'd try and get Des to come to him, to trust him and maybe....maybe stop him from leaving...

[desmond]

Maybe Sho knew. Maybe the other knew he couldn’t really walk away and that’s why he was being like this. It hurt to think about leaving. Even though the boy wanted to walk away and forget everything that had just happened, he knew he couldn’t. His body wouldn’t let him. His heart hurt when it thought of leaving. That’s why there was no way Des was going to make it to the front door. He knew he should leave, but even though he told his body that, it wouldn’t listen to him. He had to go home. His mother was going to ask where he had gone, though most of the time she got sick of asking and didn’t bother. There were many things to consider and it wasn’t like he could just put his life on hold and stay here. This place wasn’t his home, this was Sho’s home. The other was an adult and could do what he wanted. Des wasn’t an adult and most people would call him a child, though Desmond didn’t like being called that. He knew he wasn’t a child at all. He knew what he was doing and he wasn’t naïve like people thought ‘children’ were. The boy clenched his fists against his sides. He couldn’t help but cry and kept his eyes closed, though that didn’t slow down the tears. They fell down his face anyway and stained the floor. To Des, it felt like he was blind. There was no way to see through the tears that had made his eyes moist.

The boy suddenly found himself running towards the other. Even though he was still crying, he found himself wrapping his arms around the other’s waist and knocking them both over onto the hard floor. He embraced the other tightly and didn’t want to open his eyes. He was scared of what he’d see, so he buried his face in the other’s chest. Even though he was getting the other all wet with tears, the boy didn’t care. He just wondered how he could deny the other’s words now. It was obvious Sho hadn’t been lying, but Des had been desperately trying to find something in the other’s words that would turn out to be false. He had wanted so badly to be free from this bond. It was like a heavy feeling in his heart. When he wasn’t with the other, the feeling became painful. But even though he said the feelings inside were fake, that didn’t make his words true. Des knew he had been lying to the other and had said those things to make him go away. But there was no doubt in his mind now that what he was feeling was real. It wasn’t some weird thing that had come up suddenly. What he was feeling was real, though he still was unsure as to what the full meaning of his feelings was. After all, these feelings were new, so it was only natural they feel odd to Des.

“You’re so cruel…” muttered the boy. “Saying such mean things… What is it…that you want from me? You’re…so odd. No one ever wanted anything from me. I don’t have anything to give you, you know? I don’t have anything at all…so why? It could have been anyone else, but you’re after me, why? You almost make it seem like there’s something special about me. I’m the same as everyone else. I belong here…in this world. You don’t belong here at all. You’re not like anyone else around here… You stand out a lot and not just because of your appearance. But…why…is such an odd person like yourself in this place? The people here aren’t like you at all… There’s nothing here for you, yet you came here and decided to mess with me like this. You keep making me hurt and doing weird things! I just want it to stop now! Because…now…my heart feels heavy… That’s why…just stop doing these things to me…make my heart stop hurting like this…”

[Sho Taru]

Sho once again found himself on the floor, back hurting even as he wrapped his arms around the exotic little incubus. He had known Des wouldn't leave him. He'd felt it in the very put of himself. Des was his and no one else could have him. No one else could feed his soul nor give him kits. It was all up to Sho and he would take on that resposibility. The boys tears soaked his shirt, his face pressing warmly into the cloth covered skin. Sho stroked his head, kneading his scalp with gentle, claw tipped fingers. "i know...i'm a creul bastard, but I wanted you to see......i want you des. Nothing but you. I don't care if you have nothing to your name, no wordly possessions. I would take you without a penny to your name,nor anythign but the clothes on your back-or naked if I had to. You're all that i want, all i've been searching for. True, i'm different, but Jeskara is my home planet. I've never belonged here and you Des....you stand out to. Maybe not to other people, but to me. I would be able to pick you out anywhere because there is something special about you. You're the other half of my soul and even if I wanted someone else, i wouldn't be able to turn my back on you."

He sighed and after a second of letting the boy cry some more, he lifted his chin. "It hurts because we are both hurting eachother....." Wiping away tears he moved his head forward, gently brushing his lips to Des'. the only way he knew how to make it stop, was to make it up to the boy. For saying such hurtful things, and for making himself walk away. He pulled the boy up furthur and pressed his lips more firmly to them, tasting tears and sweetness that he suspected was only Des. "It'll stop hurting if you stop denying yourself......please Des....listen to me. Just listen and follow what you feel...." He was so close to kissing him again that he could feel the boys breath on him, see the tiny sparkles in his eyes from unushed tears.

[desmond]

What was he supposed to do now? Des had no clue what he was supposed to do. The other had kissed him and said all those things, but he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to about the other’s feelings. It wasn’t like he was an expert in these sorts of things or anything and not only that, but he felt the need to kiss the other again grow more and more. He wasn’t sure if it’d be right to kiss the other right now. But then again, he wasn’t sure about most things right now. Everything was confusing at the moment and everything seemed to be giving him a headache. Thinking too hard only served to make things worse. Making sometimes thinking things through wasn’t the best approach. So without even thinking, he pressed his lips against the other’s. He wasn’t an experienced kisser or someone that had kissed lots of people, but he kissed the man he was with anyway. Initially, his intent was to get into the other’s pants. He had wanted to give up his virginity easily and do what other incubi did. After all, that was the natural thing to do. It’s what his species did, but even so, he wondered why he felt so nervous. Though it was his first time, he shouldn’t be feeling nervous. It was what his body had been born to do, yet he couldn’t help but be a little afraid.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know what was coming, but he was still scared. He had been given a thorough sex talk and knew the basics, though he had never performed them, but he didn’t want to disappoint the other. He didn’t want the other to think ill thoughts of him or think he wasn’t beautiful. He had never thought of himself as someone that stood out. Most of the people in his family were gorgeous, but he somehow didn’t think he had been born like them. He hadn’t been bright like them and maybe it was because he was only half incubus. Somehow, that was cause enough to tease and ridicule him. He hated being told he wasn’t good enough or anything of the sort, but they had always done that. They had always made him feel like he was second best. So then…why was it that this person wanted him so badly? He wasn’t the best person for him and yet the other still wanted him. Des wanted to tell the other to give up on him or something, but he couldn’t find the words to say something like that. He wasn’t sure he could find the words to say anything right now. And even when he broke the kiss he remained unsure of what to do. The fact that the pain in his heart had lessened had only served to make him even more confused about everything. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“Are you sure you want me?” He asked softly. “I mean…there are others… You could have someone else…someone better… You don’t have to pick me, you know? Even though you say we’re mates, what makes you think I truly am your mate? I’m sure you’ll tire of me or something… It’s not…like I’m someone important… Ne, Sho, tell me why you like me so much. You keep saying that we’re meant to be together and shit like that, but you make it seem like you’re obligated to be with me and aren’t’ doing it because you want to. You don’t know anything about me…so how can you like me, let alone love me? Isn’t that kind of stupid? To say to someone you love them without actually knowing them? How can you say things like that so freely Sho?! It feels like you don’t mean those things… Like I said, you don’t know me… I could turn out to have a shitty personality and you’re over here saying weird things like this… What if I have so many flaws or bad habits and you can’t put up with them? Did you ever think of that… You…should think about your words more Sho… Don’t say things like that…until you really mean them…”

[Sho Taru]

Sho visibly deflated, sitting back. True, he was more than horrible at these talks, but he’d tried. Tried to get it though the pretty little Incubus’ mind that he really did feel something for him. The vampire sighed before taking Des’ hand. Immediately an electric charge went through him and he closed his eyes for a second. “Because of that….that’s how I know we’re mates. You can say I’m not being for real all you want, but I am. I don’t lie about these things. I told you I’m sure. One hundred percent. I don’t want anyone else. And if you give me time, get to know me and let me know you, then you’ll see too….” He opened his eyes, tilting his head.

“Is it really that hard to say anything back? Don’t you feel it when I touch you…? Or are you just trying to avoid me because of your species reputation? I know it’s sudden, but please don’t tell me how I feel. I know what I want and I’m not going to change my mind.” He’d accomplished what he’d wanted to say and looked away, all through with being outgoing for the moment. He had a studio to get back to and yet….he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay up here with the boy and show him exactly what it would be like to stay with him, to allow him to mate him. But Des was still going to question and he didn’t want that….

[desmond]

He was laughing, but it wasn’t the sort of laughing you heard when someone was happy. It was just…hollow and sad. Perhaps the tears helped give his laugh and even sadder feeling. Actually, there was nothing funny happening at the moment, but he was still laughing. That’s when he let himself fall on top of the other, knocking him over again. He didn’t mind the floor like this. In fact, he rather liked it, but maybe it was only because he was on top of the other. When they were this close, he could almost taste the other’s scent. Whenever he breathed in, his senses were engulfed in that spicy scent that made up Sho. His tears stained the other’s shirt even more. He was sure the man was soaked in tears now because he couldn’t stop crying. He was trembling and one of his arms had wrapped itself around the other’s waist. He wasn’t laughing anymore, but there was no need to. Pain was written all over his face. His eyes were outlined in red and showed off just how much he’d been crying. The tears in his eyes made them look glassy and like they were sparkling. Though the effect was beautiful, it almost made you want to cry too when you saw him.

“You’re…stupid,” mumbled the boy. “I don’t like stupid people. But… I’ll let you have me… You just have to make sure to keep me happy all eternity. Because if you hurt me. Then I’ll leave you.”

What a lie. He wouldn’t be able to walk away. Even if this person did nothing but hurt him, there was no way he could simply walk away. It was odd that one person he hardly knew could have this much power over him. People had been trying to control him his entire life, especially his mother. She’d always wanted him to become obedient and do whatever she wanted, but he hadn’t been able to follow through with her image of a perfect son. He’d become his own person, wild and free. He’d always enjoyed the freedom he’d had and the ability to do what he wanted. Now, though, he was being tamed by his person. He wasn’t sure yet if it was a good thing or not. Before, he’d been able to live like that because he’d had nothing to lose. It hadn’t mattered whether he lived or died as long as the next thrill came. Now, he knew that he couldn’t live like that. If he died, Sho would get sad. That’s why he couldn’t just do things like he’d been doing them up until now. He was a little sad and excited now for some reason. He didn’t want things to change, but he did at the same time. It was rather odd. Was this what it meant to find your mate?

He pressed his lips against the other’s. It was a deep kiss, unlike the short ones they’d shared before. Des was more than willing to participate and slipped his tongue into the other’s mouth. Invading his teacher’s mouth turned out to be a lot more fun than he’d originally thought. He almost felt like he was violating the other, though not quite. As he did this, his arms ran down the man’s sides. If that wasn’t enough, the boy continued to rub up against the other, exciting him without really touching him. It was then that the boy became more aggressive. His lips were crushing against the other man’s and his touches became more forceful and full of need. It was like he couldn’t stop, so he didn’t even bother trying. The more aggressive he became, the more aroused he felt. He couldn’t help that his body was reacting this way, though. It was natural, though. This was his mate, so he was supposed to have feelings like this for him. The boy became to claw at the other’s clothes. He wasn’t sure where this would all lead or what would happen, but he didn’t want to stop this now.