Itami wa Wasurette (ShoxDes)

[desmond]

Des wasn’t sure why he let the other kiss him or why he was still here. If anything, the feelings inside were enough indication that he had to get out of here. He had never felt this way before about anyone and he didn’t think it was right to do this anymore. Even though he had been after impure things from the start, he wasn’t sure if he could go through with this anymore. If anything, he felt like backing down right now. It would have been better if Sho had ended up being some stranger he wouldn’t see later. But…he had a feeling he couldn’t just leave the other after this. If he went through with this, he’d be bonded to the other forever. Something told him he wouldn’t be able to leave Sho and that wasn’t what he wanted. He was supposed to be strong. He was supposed to leave people behind and not worry about it. That’s what it meant to be an incubus. You took what you wanted from someone and then left them, so then why? Why was it so hard to think about leaving this person? Des pulled away from the kiss abruptly. Even though he had been enjoying the kiss, he didn’t think he could continue. If he had kept kissing, things would have turned into something worse. He put his hands on the other’s shoulders to keep him away. He didn’t want the other to kiss him again. Well…he did…but he didn’t at the same time… The boy wasn’t sure what to do about this whole thing. He lowered his head a little so he wouldn’t have to look the other in the eye or see the expression on the other’s face.

He felt his eyes water and he wondered why that was happening. He wasn’t really that sad…just a bit upset and confused. It was weird. Even though he’d been the one to start this, he was the one backing down now. He pushed the other away and slid off his lap. The water in his eyes became tears that were running down his face. His make-up was getting smeared, but he didn’t mind at all. In fact, he hadn’t even noticed. The boy’s shoulder shook a little as he cried. He didn’t have the courage to look up and look at the other. He felt like a weak kid at the moment. But he couldn’t help it that he was scared. It wasn’t his fault Sho made him feel such things. He just wanted the feelings to disappear now or to understand why he had them. There had to be a reason for all this, he just couldn’t understand what it was. The boy slumped to the ground and finally looked up at the other. His make-up had run down his face and his eyes had turned red and puffy, but that was only natural since he was now crying. This had seriously ruined the mood he supposed. No one wanted to be with a crybaby and especially not Sho. The other probably thought he was some stupid kid or something.

“Ne…it feels really weird…” he whispered. “I’m not sure what to do anymore since it feels so weird… Inside me…this feeling… Why are you so important to me now…? What are you to me? Why…is… I don’t understand this at all! Make it stop… My heart…is beating so fast and I feel so odd…so…do something about it because I don’t know what to do anymore!”

[Sho Taru]

Sho felt the shift in mood just as much as he felt the other tensing beneath his fingers, felt the thin hips atop his stop, knees clamping around his waist to still him. Des broke away from his mouth and Sho let his eyes drift open, questioning. But the boy wouldn't look at him. In fact, the other was holding him away, tiny hands on his shoulders putting just enough force to push him away and keep him there. "D..Des?" He asked around a haggard breath, confusion edging into his mind. Hadn't he been doing it right? Was there something wrong?

He watched the red head intently, staying still as the other shoulders trembled just a bit in the soft lighting. Sho found himself being pushed away, his hands drifting off of Des' sides as the boy slipped away from him. He was painfully aroused yet, the vampire wasn't sure why the incubus was leaving him now. Hadn't there been a connection? He was sure, the way the boy was talking, that he would get to find out exactly why his stomach was tied into knots he could never hope to unravel. He watched with worried sapphire eyes as Des slumped to the floor, his small face finally tilting up. Sho gasped, edging forward in his seat. The other was crying, make up-that he hadn't noticed- streaking down flushed cheeks, aqua trimmed in a raw red. His heart, which wasn't supposed to be a factor at all, reached out to the boy.

"I..." He licked at his lips and as his body cooled and calmed, stood. "I wouldn't understand it myself.....Like I said, i've never felt this way before and if I wasn't mistaken...i'd say you were...my mate," he glanced at the boy, smiling softly. "I'm not sure what that's supposed to feel like, when you do find them, but according to the Zercans.....it's exactly what's happening to me now. Is that possible?" He spoke the words quietly, trully intrigued. He wouldn't mind Des being his mate. The boy was beautiful, more than he could ever hope for, and was so sweet that it left him smiling. He couldn't stop. There was just an aura around the incubus halfbreed that drew him close. He toed the floor, scratching slightly at his bare stomach, still feeling Des' mouth upon his chest even though it had happened moments before. He waited for the others reaction, knowing it sounded crazy. They had just met. Could you find your mate that fast when you weren't even expecting it?

[desmond]

Mate? Was that possible? He had always figured this whole mating thing only worked for full Zercans or something. After all, finding one’s true love wasn’t something that happened on this planet. This planet was a dead place. No one came here willingly. Even though Des had a family, he’d never felt love from them. The only person that had cared about him was his father. That’s why he didn’t understand the kind of love Sho was trying to give him. He’d never had to love someone before. He’d never even been required to care about anyone but himself. In this world, everyone left each other without a second thought. People left each other and stopped caring so easily. One night stands were the most common form of affection and Des had thought that was as good as it got. If he didn’t even get love from his so called family, then why should he get if from a stranger? But…nothing made sense anymore. There was no way he had found his mate, but that wasn’t what his heart was telling him. It was pounding so hard he was sure his heart would burst. It was all because of this person and Des was sure of it.

“This…I…can’t…” he told the other softly. “It feels so odd…inside my chest…this feeling… Sho…what should I do? What am I supposed to do about these feelings…? Deep in my chest…these feelings… I don’t know if that’s the reason… I don’t know if we’re really mates, but then…maybe…that explains why I have this feeling deep inside me…”

He flung himself at the other and knocked them both onto the floor. He wept and soaked the other’s chest with tears, but he didn’t care. It didn’t feel right at all. To be away from this person, it didn’t feel right at all. It felt much better when he was near the other. He wrapped his arms around the other’s waist and didn’t bother getting off the man. He knew he was probably heavy or something, but his body wouldn’t move. It felt too nice to be this close to the other and he couldn’t bring himself to get off the man. The boy closed his eyes. His breathing seemed to become steady and he wasn’t crying anymore. The other’s sweet scent and warmth made him feel drowsy. He could get used to being around this person; maybe even share his bed with him. He’d never actually slept in the same bed as someone else, but people did it all the time so it couldn’t be hard. And he found that he was right because he soon found that he couldn’t open his eyes anymore and that his mind was slipping into unconsciousness. Des’ breathing evened out and he soon found that his mind had wandered away.

Soft snores could be heard from the boy. They weren’t loud or annoying, just a slight noise the boy made as he breathed. The younger one’s warm breath was on the other’s chest. His lips touched the other’s skin every time they moved and it seemed like he wouldn’t be waking up any time soon. When Des got comfortable, he didn’t like being woken up. The boy was a demanding boy, even when he was asleep. The boy liked things done that way he wanted and didn’t like being told to do something differently. He didn’t like it when things didn’t go his way or things like that. Even when he was asleep, he was a hostile and hard headed boy.

[Sho Taru]

Sho chuckled. Des certainly was going to be a fun person to work out. He laid on the floor, the boy atop him and still, he wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, he was more happy than he'd been in a long time. Des evoked such things in him. He sincerely felt that the incubus was his mate. If the other didn't believe, then he'd properly court him. He'd make him understand how deeply he had started to fall.

Sitting up he shifted the boy, picking him up bridal style. The others beautiful face rested on his shoulder, each tiny breath running over his neck and left ear. He took the other into his tiny bedroom. Des wouldn't loosen his hold and even if he wanted to wash the already smeared makeup off of the others face, he wouldn't have a chance to. Instead, he merely lay down on the narrow bed, Des laying half on him and half off. Unaware of what he was doing, running on instinct, he kissed the top of the boys head, over his eyelids and down his tear streaked cheeks. He finally brushed his lips gently over the others before relaxing, his eyes closing.

He'd continue tomorrow and try to get Des to believe him. He didn't want anyone else touching his exotic little incubus.

[desmond]

When Des slept, he always had nightmares or sometimes remembered things instead. Memories were worse than nightmares for Des because he knew those were real. Some things were better when they were forgotten and Des had things he never wanted to remember. But right now, he wasn’t thinking about anything. He didn’t dream or have bad memories, just…peace. Though the boy didn’t know it, his mate was the source of his peace. He hadn’t slept this good in years and Des almost pouted when he opened his eyes and awoke. He was certain it was morning even though he didn’t have a watch or anything. Des had gotten used to knowing what time of day it was without having to see a time keeping device and had a good internal clock. His face heated up when he noted the man under him. His parents and siblings wouldn’t be worried about him, but he didn’t want them to get the wrong impression and try to pry details out of him. Nothing had really happened, so there wasn’t much to tell. Of course, they wouldn’t believe him; they never did. Somehow, they always came up with the worst ideas and went along with them. He had an odd family he supposed. Sometimes, he wished they were less eccentric. Though Vincent was the only one that wasn’t like that, he was also the one that was hardest to talk to. The guy was emotionless and cold to the point that it was frustrating.

The boy slowly slid off the other and looked around the room. He needed to get to the bathroom fast. The boy searched around the room until he found something to wear. Des hoped Sho wouldn’t mind that he had gone through his things, but his clothes weren’t mean to be slept in and they were getting uncomfortable. The boy silently walked out of the room until he found the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and turned on the water. Des dropped the clothes onto the floor and used the water from the sink to wash his face. He hadn’t wanted Sho to see what he looked like when he awoke. For one thing, he had slept with his make-up on and it had turned gross. Make-up wasn’t mean to be slept in and it took Des some effort to get it off. He stuck his tongue out at the person looking back at him in the mirror. He didn’t like the person at all. Instead of that confident incubus, a fifteen year old boy stared back at him. It always amazed him how some clothes and make-up made all the difference.

His face didn’t look as pale without the powerful contrast of the black make-up and resembled a peachy color more than anything else. He didn’t look like he could seduce anyone and bordered cute more than anything else. He looked so innocent that he wanted to gag. Yes, this was the version of himself that he disliked the most. This was who he really was, a teenager that had gotten the misfortune of ending up living in a cold world. Right now, he looked very young, unlike before when he could have almost passed for an adult. Des wasn’t a grown up at all. He was far too young to take care of himself or anyone else for that matter. He was still a boy in some ways. Des rid himself of his clothes and tossed them on the floor. He slipped on a white T-short, a pair of boxers, and white shorts. They were comfortable, but sort of big. They seemed like something you’d wear to bed or to relax in more than anything else. They definitely weren’t the clubbing clothes Des was used to or the skimpy outfits he wore to get people’s attention. In this, he looked smaller than he really was and quite vulnerable. It was something else the boy disliked. He didn’t want to be this way at all. Sometimes he wished he wasn’t a damn child. The boy made sure the water was off before stepping out of the bathroom, not bothering to even pick up the dirty clothes on the floor.

[Sho Taru]

Sho awoke, fully rested. He stretched and rolled over, face buried in the pillow. He caught a whif of the creature he had brought home last night and smiled, arm grazing over the bed. He frowned when no warmth met his searching and sat up to rub as his eyes, shaking sleepy cobwebs from his brain. That was right...nothing happened. He hadn't found a deep pleasure in anothers body, though he had done some kissing and even holding, touching. The vampire stretched, trying to decide where the incubus had gone. Had he left completely? That though disappointed Sho and he stood to go into the bathroom to get ready for lessons today.

The sound of running water met his ears and he smiled. So that's where his interestingly beautiful visitor had gone. Good. He didn't want to go hunt him down at such an early hour. He walked into the kitchen instead, getting out materials for a nice breakfast. Des was going to eat here and he found himself wanting to spend more time with the boy. He'd slept so well last night, and he felt more at peace than he ever had before. It was strange, yet wonderful. He never wanted to get rid of it. Frying up some pancakes he went about humming, moving around the kitchen with farmiliarity. Often, he'd had to cook fo himself, and on occasion, a full crew of workers on a ship. A meal for his almost-lover, was okay with him.

He set out a place for the boy and went back to cooking and preparing.

[desmond]

He knew the other was awake by the sounds being made in the kitchen. Des wasn’t sure whether he wanted to see Sho just yet, but it was now or never. The boy tried to avoid eye contact with the other in order to keep the man from making a comment. He took a seat and kept his leg lowered, focusing his attention on the floor. He didn’t want Sho to think he had lied to him or anything, but he also didn’t want the other to think he was the person he pretended to be. He was debating whether to tell the other his real age and the status of his sex life. He didn’t think it was such a big deal that he was a virgin and fifteen years old. Then again, Sho might not like him anymore if he found out his real age, but the other could probably already tell. He cursed himself for not bringing a make-up bag with him. It was rather confusing to be in this sort of situation. He didn’t want to fill Sho’s head with lies, but that was what he was used to doing. He was used to lying to people about everything from his name and age to where he was born and such. It was easier to make stuff up he supposed than it was to tell the truth. It was possible that he just didn’t want anyone to get to know him and liked lying, but he’d have to quit or Sho would get mad. The other seemed like the type to get mad if Des lied to him.

Des slipped out of his chair and walked over to the other quietly. His bare feet made no noise against the floor as the boy wrapped his arms around the other’s waist from behind. He buried his face in the other’s back and breathed in the man’s scent. It was rather nice to be around this person. He liked holding the man this close. He gripped the other’s shirt tightly and closed his eyes. When he touched the other like this, it really didn’t matter that they were so different or that Des wasn’t who he’d said he was. Sho had picked him. In the bar, Sho had chosen him out of everyone else to bring home, so that meant something to Des. Even if the other was really just some pedophile pervert, he liked him anyway. The man was a good person and Des wondered why he wasn’t attached yet. It scared him to think he’d have to fight someone for Sho. This person was the type of rare people you found on this planet. He was kind, gentle, and not just after a cheap fuck. Maybe that’s why he liked the other so much. Sho was a good person and he hadn’t met one of this before.

He didn’t even like pancakes, but he wasn’t going to tell Sho that. He’d never had someone make him food before. He did that for himself. The only person that had made him something had been his father. He’d also been the person that had taught him how to cook for himself. Des had always wanted to learn to do things on his own and his father had taught him how to become independent. Maybe the other had known he was going to die and had prepared Des for it because when he had arrived at his mother’s home, no one had ever taken care of him ever again. He’d been all alone and left to fend for himself. He’d learned to take care of himself and not let anyone else do things for him. He had learned to never accept help from people and that it was best to do things for yourself. This world had taught him hash lessons and Des hadn’t liked learning them.

The boy let his hands wander until they were one the other’s hips and even then, the wandering hands didn’t stop. They went lower and lower until they were on the other’s inner thigh. He nuzzled the man’s back and used his knee to spread his legs open a little. It was odd for him to show so much affection, but he’d make exceptions for Sho. The other was the person he liked the most, so it was only fair. The boy wanted to feel the other properly. He hadn’t been able to do so last night, but he would this time. This time, he wouldn’t hold back at all and he wouldn’t cry like he had. He’d never cry again. He had promised himself a long time ago he wouldn’t, so he’d do his best to keep those tears locked inside.

[Sho Taru]

Sho was half way done with a small stack of pancakes when he felt, rather than saw, Des come into the kitchen. He pushed back his hair and smiled at the other, only to find the aqua gaze averted. Sighing, he frowned and turned back to the stove. It seemed the other still wasn't happy about his mate comment earlier. It was saddneing because he trully felt thats what the electricity and the warmth was trying to tell them. Call him a fool, but he wanted this. He wanted to take care of the incubus and hold him, not let him near another person ever. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't hear the other come up behind him. He gasped lightly and almost dropped the skillet when small arms wrapped around him, a tiny face pressing into his back.

He was tensed for less than a second before he relaxed, setting the skillet back onto the burner, turning the flame off. He opened his mouth to bid him good morning and tell him the food was done but the words never came. Des hands stole them away when they ran down his hips to settle on his inner thighs. He licked at dry lips and allowed his legs to be spread from behind, a small knee pressing up between his legs. Sho knew he should stop him. He had class in an hour but when Des touched him, he couldn't help but forget everything else. He leaned back into the boy and let his head fall back, his dark hair cascading over the other. "Well...good morning to you too," he choked out. He gyrated his hips down onto the still raised knee for a second before turning in the others embrace. He raised the boys face with a finger under his chin and claimed his lips.

"Food's done....I bet you're starving." He would rather sate himself on this boy, feel him like he hadn't gotten the chance to last night. He had been hungry this morning and now he knew what for. He was hungry for the boy to be beneath him, surrounding him in his unique scent and warm body. He smiled and looked down at him, cupping his face in his palm. The other looked so much younger without makeup. It occured to him that he didn't know Des age. No matter. Love cared not the age or the gender. If Des was young, and still a virgin, he could take it slow. He could court him properly as the Sensaforians did and prove that he deserved this little one. Sho wanted to ask what Des thought about the mate thing but he didn't. Instead he closed his eyes and leaned forward for a tender kiss, uncaring how young the other looked.

[desmond]

Des was glad the other didn’t hate him. Sho could have yelled at him or done things like that because he had lied about his age, but the other did none of those things. The man was indeed a kind person because he didn’t bring up the fact that Des was very young looking. Even though he looked young, Des didn’t consider himself a child. One was not a child at fifteen. By that time you were practically an adult, though not quite. It was odd for Des to meet a person like Sho. He couldn’t really understand the other. At fist, he’d thought the other was after his body. It had been the most logical reason and the only one that had made sense. After all, he was an incubus and seducing people was what he did. It was only natural for Sho to want him. But…when he had stopped, the other hadn’t kicked him out. When he hadn’t gone through with it and slept with the man, the other hadn’t kicked him out of the apartment or anything. It confused Des that the other had let him stay. After all, the point had been to sleep with this person. That was what the man wanted…right? He was sure that’s what the other wanted from him, but even so, there were still many things he didn’t understand. This person was making him food and smiling at him as though nothing was wrong. Were this more people like this? No… He had a feeling this person was special.

He’d practically thrown himself at the other, but Sho hadn’t done anything. The man hadn’t tried to do anything with him and was looking at him with such an odd expression. It wasn’t a bad look, just very odd. He walked back over the table and took a seat. It wasn’t that he was scared of the feelings the other gave him or anything, he had just wanted to sit down. His heart had started beating quickly again and those weird feelings had come back. It was odd really, but Des wasn’t sure whether he minded or not. It wasn’t that the feeling was horrible, but he couldn’t identify what it was. The boy stared at the tabletop and clutched the sides of the chair so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He tried to relax and look cool, but it was hard to do so when he was in the same room as this person. He let go of the chair and played with the hem of his shirt…well…Sho’s shirt. It was one of those habits he had picked up a while back. When he got nervous, he couldn’t stay still. So he had taken a deep breath and tried to make himself relax. If the other saw how tense and nervous he was, he’d never live it down. That’s why he wanted the other to think he was fine and calm. He wanted the other to think of him as mature and not a child. It wasn’t clear why he wanted the other to think of him at all, but he was sure the reason for all this would reveal itself soon if he waited.

“What do you do… I mean…what is it that you do…? For a living that is…” He asked, unsure as to what the topic of their conversation. “You don’t seem like you’re into the same kind of…business as a lot of the people around here. You’re…a really cute person. Has anyone ever told you that? You’re…kind of pure. You really don’t belong in this type of world. I was surprised when I met you in…that sort of place. You don’t seem like the type of person that would go to such places willingly, so I was surprised. You stood out because you looked so uncomfortable and alone. Most people are trying to attach themselves to as many other people as possible. Ne, what time is it? I’m supposed to go home. I have a class to get to… Do you…study anything Sho? You seem like you’d like that sort of thing…but I wouldn’t know I guess. Because I don’t know you at all. But then again, you don’t know me either. I guess we’re strangers that know each others names.”

[Sho Taru]

Sho could feel the boys confusion and knew he must've suprised him. It delighted Sho because he had wanted to show him just how much he could appreciate him as a person, not just as a body for sex. The man turned back to the stove after watching him go to the table to sit again. The morning light played on the boys hair and he quickly filled plate with two pancakes, setting them in front of the other. "Enjoy, you should be hungry. Ah!Forgot a fork..." He grabbed one and brought that to the table too, sitting opposite the young boy. He wasn't hungry himself, just curious as to what the boy would think if he brought up the mating thing again. He didn't get a chance before the incubus was rambling, forcing him to memorize everything so he could answer.

"I'm basically a wandering artist of sorts I suppose....right now i'm a teacher so yeas, I suppose I wouldn't be into the same business as others here...." He smiled at the compliment, blushing slightly. "Thank you Des...i've never heard that before but thank you. My brother drug me to the club. He didn't want to go alone and I didn't want Cyn to get into trouble. i don't study anything right now, i'm just teaching classes to get some money for my next bout of travelling. It is.....almost eight," he murmured looking at his watch. He had a student coming in soon and was sad he'd have to say goodbye to Des. He'd make sure to get information to contact him later, because he really, trully felt something for other. He paused for a second before grinning again.

"Yes...it seems that way...but if you allow me, i'd like to know you more Des. Not just your body but you...a person and not a thing to be used...." He allowed the boy to mull that over and stood, stretching. "Why don't you eat while I get dressed and then I can let you out so I can set up my studio. I have a class today but....i'd like to meet you later if you'd consider it. We can get together and...get to know eachother maybe?" He raised a dark brow in question.

[desmond]

Des looked down at the food. He didn’t want to offend the other, but he also didn’t want to eat what was placed in front of him. He didn’t like the food the other was offering him and he didn’t like the thought of stuffing his face with it. But…he was in Sho’s house and the other had already made the food, so he supposed he could live with eating what he’d been given. It wasn’t like it’d kill him or anything. He put a piece of pancake in his mouth as he listened to the other speak. The food wasn’t that bad and he had to admit Sho was a pretty good cook. Now, Des had never been a slow person. He was the kind of boy that picked up things fast. He’d learned his place in his mother’s house after a week of living there, he’d learned to not trust anyone else after his mother had abandoned him and his father, and he’d learned that most people were liars. All in all, Des thought he was pretty smart for a street punk. That’s why it surprised him he’d been so late in making all the right connections. He cursed himself silently for being so stupid and almost blushed in embarrassment. He’d made a rather large mistake it seemed and there was no way he was ever going to forget this.

“Ne, you…wouldn’t be Setsuna-sensei, would you?” He asked while gripping his fork a little too tightly. “Anou…I’m Desmond James Daniels…I think…I’m your student…”

He was hoping this was some sort of mistake and that the other wasn’t really his art teacher. All he’d heard from his mother was the man’s last name, but there was no way the city was full of art teachers. Sho had to be the only one because he didn’t know any other person in Jeskara interested in art. People around here weren’t interested in paintings, just sex. His mother had thought it’d help him lose some anger if he focused on something like art, but he hadn’t thought things would end up this way. Out of all the things, he’d almost slept with his teacher. The other knew a lot about him, he was sure. He’d heard his mother talking to the man on the phone, but he’d only been able to hear his mother’s voice, not the one on the other end. Sho knew his age, his phone number, his address, and worst of all, the man knew his mother. This was like something out of a nightmare. This person could easy get in touch with him and the other was probably going to tell his mother. It wouldn’t have been a problem if this had been someone else, but his mother would think he was trying to sleep with the guy to get out of the art lessons. He actually wasn’t the type of person to do something like that, but his mother wouldn’t think like that.

Des dropped his fork and his eyes widened slightly. This was terrible. He was sure he would be scolded and punished. Not only that, his mother would think this man was a bad influence and make sure he never saw the other. His heart hurt when he thought like that. It was weird since he’d never though like that before, but the boy couldn’t help it. His heart hurt and he’d never felt that before. For some odd reason, he wanted to be with this person, though he couldn’t figure out why yet. The boy felt the heat rise to his cheeks rise slightly and wondered what he was supposed to do. There was no way he could keep up a relationship with this person if he was indeed his teacher. This was certainly going to complicate things. This person couldn’t be with him if he was his teacher. It’d be bad if someone found out and besides, he wasn’t even legal yet. At fifteen, Sho would get into a lot of trouble. He’d be thought of a pedophile or worse and Des didn’t want that at all. Still, he couldn’t find his voice to say anything as he continued to simply stare at the other.

[Sho Taru]

Sho blinked several times before catching the full impact of the others words. "Yes I'm...well my name is Sho Taru Setsuna....i've never heard anyone refer to me as Setsuna-sensei before but...wait? You're Desmond Daniels?" He looked over the boy again, saw the way he dropped his fork. Well...that was certainly suprising. Who knew he'd meet his first student under such pretenses? He smiled again and quirked a brow at the others expression.

"Fate works wonders sometimes doesn't she? It's nice I got to meet you before hand.You're a passionate boy Des...i'm sure you'll do well." He didn't notice how the other seemed to be getting even more afraid, nor could he really sense how troubled the boy was. Sho didn't think of the consequences of being with the other. All he could think about was keeping him here, showing him how much he could care for him if allowed. He lay his chin in his hand and watched him, frowning when the other dropped his fork. "Des....it's not a bad thing is it? I mean, me being a teacher and you being my student for the time being....I mean, it doesn't have to change anything does it? Those aqua eyes were on him, disbelieving, shining with a form of betrayal. Sho didn't see the wrongness in their situation. He believed this boy was his mate and as all people knew, love knew no bounds. If he was destined to mate-to share a soul-with such a young boy, then he would do it. He would love him and until he came of age, not touch him in any way sexual. "Des?" He questioned again when the other didn't answer.

[desmond]

How could the other not see what this meant?! Des had never met anyone as naïve and innocent as this man. Even though this person was older, he was still a child, or at least Des saw him as one. His expression softened slightly as he continued to look at the other. This person acted as though everything in the world was alright. Sho probably didn’t understand what kind of situation they were in. It was sort of nice to be with someone this innocent, but it also complicated things. Sho was the type of person Des had no clue how to handle. The man was kind for one thing and he acted as though he had the life experience of a six year old. Even if the other wasn’t pure in body, he had a pure mind. Des was just the opposite. His mind was dirty while his body was clean. He’d done all kinds of things before he’d met Sho. Sometimes he’d get drunk, other times he’d do drugs, and sometimes he even purposely hurt people. The life he’d lead amounted to nothing. He had nothing to offer this person. Even if they were mates, why would this person want him? After all, he was a mess. He had done things and even hurt himself a few times. Sho would never understand him and he’d never be able to understand the other. They were much too different, but even so, he really wanted to be with this person.

“You’re…so clean,” he commented. “You really don’t belong in a place like this. I’ll just…cause you lots of trouble, so I’ll leave now. I’m going to get changed. Don’t worry, I won’t be coming back to bug you or anything. You…live in a dream world or something must be nice. You really can’t see what’s in front of you. Do you think everything in life works out or something because that’s a lie. There’s no way someone like me can be your mate. That’s….not possible. Besides, you’re better off without me. So it’s best if I just left. Thank for the food Sensei. I appreciate it. No one’s made me such a nice meal before. My mother can’t cook worth a damn and I’m worse, so thank a lot I guess. It tasted like real food and not something that was microwaved of came out of a can.”

He stood and began to walk back into the bedroom. It hurt inside and he wanted to cry, but he’d never cried before and he wasn’t going to start now, especially not in front of Sho. It was bad enough his eyes were getting blurry and filled with unshed tears; he didn’t need the other to pity him too. It felt like he couldn’t go on. His heart was being ripped out of it’s place and shattered into a million pieces or something. Maybe if he tried hard enough, he could stop himself from feeling so bad. It didn’t make sense. He hadn’t met Sho before and it wasn’t like they had any relationship of the sort. He should be able to walk away from this person and move on, but his heart was telling him otherwise. It was hard to not listen to your heart when it was beating so fast and practically ripping through your chest. He didn’t make it to the bedroom, but he had sort of figured he wouldn’t anyway. Des sunk to the floor and almost cursed his weak knees. He stared at the ground and blinked when he noted the floor was wet and then realized he was the one causing the wetness. There were tears falling down his cheeks; he was crying. It wasn’t small tears either; large amounts of tears were falling down his face and landing on the other’s apartment floor. As soon as the tears stopped, he’d get up. Yeah…as soon as the tears stopped falling and he didn’t feel like he was dying, he’d get up and leave this person.

[Sho Taru]

Sho sat, shocked, and hurt at the others words. He'd told the boy that they were mates and should be together but he hadn't cared. There he was, walking away. Could your mate just walk away like that? It made his chest hurt and his hands curl on the table in pain. He stood and turned to find that the boy had gone completely from the room. Should he go after him? Force him to come back? He wasn't sure....He stood in silent contemplation for a minute before going after him, stumbling over the bundle as he tried to go past to the door. The boy had sunk down on his floor in the dark and if you didn't look closely, you'd never see. He sighed in relief and knelt beside him. "Des......" He rubbed his hands over his shoulders, trying to sooth him.

"I do see what's in front of me.....it's you and if thats an illusion then...I don't see why you can't be my mate. You're young yes, and still have your teenage years to live out without the distraction of kits or a family but....you can still love can't you? If not then you can...you can walk out that door and not look back at me. If that's what you want then i'm not going to force you to stay with me. You are your own free person and i'll never force you for anything...." He lay his hands on small, quivering shoulders and tried to pull him up. His heart was aching and he had to swallow several times not to show any weakness.

[desmond]

“My legs won’t move…” whispered Des. “I tried to get up but my legs won’t move. I know there’s nothing wrong because I was fine before and I haven’t hurt myself…but…I can’t move. It hurts inside my chest to leave. I never believed that crap…about mates. This place…isn’t the kind of world you find true love in. It’s dead and cold, so that’s why… But you make my heart hurt deep inside. Stupid jerk. It’s all your fault I’m having…feelings and shit. I’ll never forgive you for this crap and you’d better take responsibility!”

His expression turned into a glare as he looked straight into the other’s eyes. Things weren’t supposed to be this way. He was supposed to become a whore or something dirty, but never fall in love with someone. He wasn’t even sure what he was feeling was actually love, but it sure felt that way. He didn’t know what to do. After all, he had never been in love before, so he didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like. But when he had tried to leave the other, his legs hadn’t let him go any further. His heart had begun to hurt every time it beat against his chest and there were tears falling down his eyes, even as he glared at the other. He blamed this all on Sho. If the other had never gone to the club, he never would have seen him and he never would have started feeling this way. It made sense; this was all Sho’s fault. There was really no other way to explain it and Des wasn’t in the mood to explore any other possibilities. After all, that might end with him admitting something he wasn’t ready to admit. He had been lying to himself for a long time and this was no different. So right now, all he could do was blame Sho.

Of course, he expected the other to fix this. He expected this man to make the feelings go away and for his heart to stop hurting. It was only fair after all. Since the other was the cause of this, he should be the one to fix it. So Des grabbed the other’s wrist to make sure he didn’t go anywhere and continued to look the other in the eye. He glared with all he had and silently told the other that he had to fix this. It was Sho’s fault he was crying. It was the other’s fault that he was so sad and that he was hurting like this. He needed something to make him feel better, but he wasn’t sure what. He noted how close they were. He hadn’t noticed this before, but they were very close together. Their faces were inches apart and he could feel the other’s breath on his face. It made his heart speed up and not in the way it had before. This was different, though he wasn’t sure why. All he could concentrate on at the moment was how close the other was. A slight blush spread across his cheeks and he felt himself leaning in closer. This was madness. It was crazy to yell at someone and dislike them one minute and then think of them in this way the next. But still, he couldn’t help it.

Without a second thought, the boy pressed his lips against the other’s. It wasn’t a very passionate kiss and was more innocent than anything else. Des was being shy at the moment and a bit hesitant. He closed his eyes and kept they closed during the whole kiss. It hadn’t been his idea to do this, he had just done it. He wasn’t even sure what it meant or what Sho was going to do because of this, but he couldn’t stop. He leaned in closer and ended up sending Sho to the floor. He was on top of the other now, but he never broke the kiss. It was odd how experienced he was considering he had never kissed before, but then again, it came naturally for Des’ kind. Was this what he wanted? Was this what was supposed to happen now? Des wasn’t sure, but then again, he wasn’t sure about a lot of things now. He wasn’t sure what was going on or what he was supposed to be feeling. But when he kissed Sho, it felt like nothing really mattered, so he stopped thinking about it and concentrated on the task at hand. He pressed his lips harder against the other and hoped this was hat the right thing.